Funny Quotes Grandma Novels & Stories

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

~~~~Complete~~~~~ "You are mine chiquita no one else's and I won't leave this place without you" he growled lowly making me flinch but I quickly recomposed myself. All Victoria Chlicton Ponce ever wanted was to be a big time Hollywood actress, get married and have a family to call her own but all that shattered when she met Micheal Black. Micheal is the playboy who has plenty of women at his disposal. He has been looking for his mate but at the same time hooking up with different girls until he meets Victoria. He instantly becomes disgusted by her but doesn't reject her due to his grandma instead he continues his playboy ways. What happens when Victoria becomes fed up and runs away. Will Micheal realise his mistake and run after her or will it be the end of their love story that never even began. And will Victoria be free and finally fulfil her dream or will the world shun her away. Read to find out

My son’s family suddenly returned from abroad. I did not understand a single word at the dinner table. They were speaking in a foreign language. My grandson, Aiden, looked me up and down and said loudly, “Dad, Grandpa’s face is all bumpy and scarred. He’s lame, too. He’s so ugly!” My son waved his hand nonchalantly and said, “That was caused by a shell blast. Anyone who served in the military looks like that.” I did not understand their conversation. I simply placed the fish I had deboned onto his plate in silence. My grandson, however, became agitated. He picked up the hot soup and splashed it on my face. Then he cursed at me in broken English, saying, “Stay away, ugly monster! If it weren’t for you refusing to die, Grandma Sloane and Grandpa Wallace could’ve come home years ago!” My mind went blank. My wife had passed away decades ago. Who was this “Grandpa Wallace”?

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

The day my mother-in-law discovered she had uterine cancer, she packed up and moved in to our home. “I don’t have much time left. I’m all out of hope!” she choked out. “You’d be cruel to kick me out. Show me some mercy!” I looked at my speechless husband, then at my beloved son I had raised with so much love and care. I asked them, "What do you guys think?" My husband silently made a grim expression and grabbed my arm. “How long are you going to hold on to that little incident that happened after Everett was born? Mom's already so sick." My son echoed his sentiment, “Grandma doesn't have much time left. Of course we have to take good care of her!" I smiled at them and said, “Alright. You guys can take care of her if you love her so much."

Sophie became limp after an accident while saving an old grandma. Her parents, who resented her, laughed and said, "No one will marry a limping girl. Marry an old man and bring us the dowry money!" She thought her life was useless now. Until, the grandma's handsome grandson appeared with a shocking marriage proposal: "Marry me and I'll help you with your leg surgery!" She was stunned. "But I'm just a poor girl with a limp leg…why would you marry me?” His lips curled up into a smirk. "At least, I'll have a silly girl as my wife." Blinded by desperation and hope, Sophie agreed. Only later did she discover her new husband's true identity. Dominic William, London's most elusive billionaire, notorious for his icy heart and disdain for women. As Sophie navigates Dominic's world, she uncovers the secrets behind his frozen facade. But will their unconventional love overcome the darkness of his past and her own insecurities? Or will his secrets tear them apart?

“You have to choose between death or becoming my slave. Either I give you a death sentence now, or your life becomes enslaved. I have given you the liberty to choose.”  On the night of her 18th birthday, the time came for princess Alexa of the Blue Scorpion pack to meet her mate. This particular moment was everything she’d hoped for, but in the end, what happened was not what she'd expected. She found her mate, alpha Logan of the Red Lotus pack, the youngest, most charming and most desired alpha in all the realm, also happens to be her enemy. That night, Logan was bent on achieving his revenge against Danister, the Blue Scorpion alpha. He wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way, not even Alexa. That same night unlocked a new life for Alexa, not only was her pack taken into captivity but she, the high-held princess, was also taken into slavery at the hands of her mate. For the trauma her father caused him in the past, Logan plans to do so many things to Alexa. He wants to hurt her, to make her pay for all his suffering, he wants to make life as miserable as possible for her, till the point she begs for death. Now, there’s only one problem standing in the way of his plans; the mate bond they share won’t let him. Instead, it draws him closer to her; it makes him yearn for her in the most unimaginable ways. Find out where this love story between Alexa and Logan will lead in The Alpha's Hated Slave Mate. Book 1 of the werewolf mate series Book 2- The Beta's Unexpected Mate For updates on character reveals and quotes, including all my books, follow my Facebook page, Eyitee's library.

Victoria Carson is 17 and in love with Bruce Wayne and Thera nothing that could make her happier. That is till a summer mistake threatens the he dreams and hopes for a brighter future. Could she ever be able to face Bruce? Or will she keep this a secret even if it's driving a wedge between her and her future? Bruce Wayne just couldn't be happier, finally coming home to his beautiful girlfriend, the love of his life. He is confused and hurt when she starts to ignore him, frustrated Bruce is set on finding the cause of her strange behavior. But is he ready for the truth? As it shakes the very foundation of their relationship, will they ever be able to get through this,or is their love doomed to fail?

comes Dove Callum: weird, always happy, wild, beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes, president of the school body council, all A student and two mothers enters Liam Scott: loner, moody face, hot as hell, brown hair, green eyes, very tall and let's not forget a British accent .. The day callum sets her eyes on Liam for the first time, the only thing on her mind is love, love at first sight but Liam doesn't want anything to do with love or callum..