Funny Text Messages Novels & Stories

My wife's family ran on the old logic: sons mattered, daughters were a tax. They called my five-year-old daughter "the cash drain" to her face. On New Year's Day, my wife told me my daughter was donating a kidney to her cousin. I was about to lose it on every adult in that room when something appeared in the air in front of me, a column of text only I could see: [Is this woman seriously the mother? She says it's a kidney transplant, but she actually wants the kid's heart.] [If I had a mom like that I'd have cut her off years ago.]

High school was supposed to be simple for Annie—keep her head down, avoid the spotlight, and get through her last year in one piece. But then she meets someone who makes her heart race in ways she never expected. Between navigating friendships, senior-year chaos, and the confusing rush of new feelings, Annie is about to discover that her last year of high school can also be the beginning of everything that matters. “Last Year First Love” is a sweet, funny, and relatable teen romance about friendship, self-discovery, and the unforgettable magic of falling in love for the very first time.

I am someone with a strong desire to share every little detail with my lover. The blush of dawn outside the safe house window, a slightly-too-bitter espresso, the new flower shop on the corner. Even if Carlo's shadow just flickered through my mind for a moment, I couldn't stop myself from hitting send. His replies were always brief, but they were instant. I used to think that was just how a cold man like him showed his love. That all changed seven days before the wedding, when I found an AI auto-responder on the burner phone he never let out of his sight. It broke down every sentence I sent, categorizing them and extracting keywords to generate the most perfectly dismissive answers. When I said I missed him, it replied, "Behave." When I said I was scared, it replied, "I'll handle it." When I wanted to argue, it replied, "Be sensible." So, for half a year, the one replying to my messages was never Carlo. Meanwhile, in another chat window, the messages between him and another woman were piled high. From simple good mornings to random midnight thoughts, From secret talks about family business to whether they should take the yacht out on the weekend. I finally understood. Carlo wasn't a cold person. It wasn't that he didn't like to share his life; he just didn't want to share it with me. And I finally decided to make a heartbroken exit from this absurd charade.

My CEO boyfriend, Dylan Abbott, has a phobia of getting married. Because of that, he sets up a weird rule that requires me to pass all 99 trials set up by his secretary, Lynette Woods, before finally agreeing to marry me. The first time we're about to get married, I wait for Dylan at the marriage registration department for three hours. But that's when I'm informed that Lynette has lost Dylan's ID, causing our registration to get delayed. The second time we're about to get married, Lynette happens to be driving around in my car. She stages a brake failure and hits a passerby on purpose. By the time I'm done dealing with the accident and rush to the City Hall with Dylan, it's already closed for the day. The 98th time we're about to get married, Lynette laces my glass of water with rat poison. Because of that, I'm taken to the hospital immediately to have my stomach pumped out, hence missing out on the marriage registration. When it's the 99th time for us to get married, I'm under the impression that I've passed Lynette's trials, which means Dylan won't flake out on me anymore. But I spend the day waiting for Dylan at the City Hall till nightfall. I've spammed so many phone calls and text messages to him, and yet he never shows up. In the end, I come across a post Lynette has made on her social media feed about her and Dylan being officially married. "My boss loves me far too much! All I said was that I wanted to get married as well, and he was quick to marry me at the City Hall! I love him so much!" I just leave a like on the post without losing my temper or kicking up a ruckus. That's when Dylan calls me on the phone all of a sudden. "Don't misunderstand the whole thing, Felicia. This marriage is just a joke. Lynette is a graduate hailing from an overseas university. I merely married her because I want her to keep working for my company without any complaints. "Once the divorce procedures are over, I'll marry you immediately before throwing you the grandest wedding ever, okay?" What Dylan doesn't know is that I've already signed an agreement with the system. If I can't get married with Dylan in five years, that means I've lost the bet. My time will be up in three days. By then, I'll get annihilated by the system. There will no longer be a future for me and Dylan.

The seventh time I planned to register for marriage with Piero Conrad, he didn't show up again. I was about to text him and ask when he would arrive when I stumbled upon his childhood friend's post. [Celebrating the 999th day since marrying my dear, from the past to the future, it's always been you.] The video showed a marriage certificate, with Piero's name listed as the husband. The registration date was May 20, three years ago. I realized that was why he never showed up those seven times. He was already married to someone else.

The King of the West, Lord of the Shadow Sect, and God of War—Howard Lincoln! Five years ago, Howard's adoptive father and his entire family were killed. Narrowly escaping from death, Harold was saved by Tania Jenkins. After that, he was taken away by a mysterious man and entered the military camp by chance. Five years later, a text message brought the God of War from the blood-soaked battlefield to the mundane world, and only then did Howard realize he had a daughter. Since then, the skillful warrior turned into a doting father, protecting his family, fighting other influential families, battling fiercely, and paying back both the good and the harm.

When they were married, billionaire tycoon Mr. Seven said, "That goth bitch is just after my money and my looks. If she dares to ever touch me, I'll chop her up into pieces."After the divorce, Mr. Seven went around telling others, "My wife has been bullied by her family all her life. She is the most gorgeous woman on earth. If you look at her funny, I'll gouge your eyes out!"Mr. Seven, do you even hear what you're saying?

After I get pregnant, my husband goes jogging every night. One night, he leaves in such a hurry that he only wears his smart watch. He forgets to bring his phone with him. I accidentally see the messages he sends his female colleague. "Want to come over for a free meal? And maybe… a little of me, too?" "I'm not really hungry tonight—except for a taste of you." The chicken stew he's fed me tonight gurgles in my stomach as it turns. If I remember correctly, he's just introduced this colleague to my brother.

"I…...Supreme Alpha Sheila Mahamanga of all the supernatural world…….hereby send you Eden Rastol back painfully to the abyss…... of eternal pain….., may you never reincarnate again!" Sheila, queen of the supernatural world and the present time is….the Supreme Alpha of all werewolves in existence. She has lived for thousands of years and stopped aging at the age of twenty-eight. She's Ruthless, a female Alpha that portrays danger, evil, and most especially death. She was cursed by the moon goddess to be mateless for the rest of her life, because of her cruel nature, misuse of power, and constant death punishment. Since then her evil has tripled as she becomes unstoppable. She controls the whole pack of the werewolf, she is the Supreme Alpha, other Alpha's crawl to the bare floor at the mention of her name as no one dares utter her judgment except you are ready to die!!! Fate becomes twisted when all of a sudden on the full moon, she finds herself being mated to an Omega. She was angered, as she roars in horror, daring the moon goddess Eden Rastol was a born Omega In Harlet Moon Pack. He was twenty-five years old. He lives with his parents who cherish him so much, regardless of his weak nature, but fate has always had a blow on him. He has been rejected two times by his various mate, but his last rejection left him shattered. He was thrown out of his pack and fate being funny, he found himself in Blackheart, where the Supreme Alpha lives in. Funny enough he was unfortunately mated to Supreme Alpha Sheila for the fourth time.

Kiara's perfect life shatters when she wakes up in a hotel room, stark naked with two strange men beside her. Before she could even try to understand what had happened to her, she's rejected, disowned, and betrayed in a twinkle of an eye. Left for dead, Kiara must rebuild her life, fueled by a burning desire for revenge. But fate has a funny way of playing games. When their paths cross again six years later, sparks still fly, and secrets unravel. Will either of them succumb to the flames of the past especially with a new thread tying them together?