Funny Yo Mama Jokes

“Benjamin, naging asawa mo ako sa loob ng tatlong taon ngunit ni isang beses ay hindi mo man lang ako nagawang hawakan! Ngayon, ito na ang pagkakataon ko. Ito na ang tamang panahon para bumawi sa lahat ng mga masasakit na pinagdaanan ko sa piling mo bilang asawa mo at bilang babaeng minahal ka ng napakatagal! Pinagsisisihan kong naging asawa kita!” Tumutulo ang mga luha ni Lunabella habang sinasabi iyon sa nakahiga at nakataling asawang si Benjamin Alvarez sa kanilang kama. “Huwag mong gawin ito, Luna. Sinasabi ko sa'yo, hinding-hindi kita mapapatawad! Bakit hindi mo na lang kasi tanggapin na hindi kita magawang mahalin? Na si Astra lang ang tanging tinitibok ng puso ko?!” Walang pusong turan ni Benjamin, puno ng galit ang mga mata. “Humanda ka sa akin kapag nakawala ako rito, talagang mapapatay kita!” Pilit itong kumakawala sa pagkakatali ngunit mahigpit ang ginawang pagkakatali rito ni Lunabella rito. ******* Mula pa nang highschool ay minamahal na ni Lunabella Cruz si Benjamin Alvarez. Wala siyang ibang nais kundi ang makasal dito. Kaya nang ipagkasundo silang dalawa dahil sa horoscope na pinaniniwalaan ng naghihingalong matandang Alvarez ay hanggang langit ang ligaya niya. Subalit ang sayang iyon ay kapalit ng tatlong taong paghihirap niya bilang asawa ni Benjamin Alvarez. Mahal na mahal niya ang lalaki ngunit may iba ito minamahal.

Demi melunasi hutang keluarga, papa dan mama tirinya memaksa Kinara untuk menikahi seorang pria paruh baya mesum. Kinara pun memilih kabur. Sayangnya, dia ditabrak sebuah mobil. Saat Kinara pikir akan mati, dia justru terkejut ketika menemukan dirinya terbangun di kamar Keny–seorang salesman yang juga mantan kekasih Kinara. Waktu itu, Kinara terpaksa memutuskan Keny karena ancaman sang mama tiri yang ingin membunuh pria tersebut. Namun, pria di hadapannya ini mengaku bahwa dirinya bukanlah Keny, melainkan Kenzo–CEO Wirawan Company. Belum sempat memproses semuanya, Kinara kembali dikejutkan pada penawaran Kenzo. Pria itu tiba-tiba menawarkan bantuan untuk membalaskan dendam Kinara pada mama tirinya. Di sisi lain, Kenzo meminta meminta bantuan Kinara untuk menjadi “istri kontraknya” demi keberhasilan bisnis yang sedang pria itu jalankan. Kinara–yang tak punya pilihan–pun menerimanya. Sayangnya, Kinara tak tahu bahwa Kenzo sebenarnya Keny–pria yang mencintai dan juga membencinya. Bagaimana kisah keduanya? Apakah kesalahpahaman di antara keduanya dapat berakhir? Atau, justru kisah mereka berdua yang berakhir selamanya?

Bagaimana jika dua orang yang tidak saling mengenal harus terjebak dalam pernikahan. Dengan di atur oleh oleh kedua keluarga akankah mereka sanggup untuk menolak. “Besok kalian akan menikah, makanya kami sepakat untuk mempertemukan kalian terlebih dulu,” ucapan Indira tersebut sontak membuat Angga dan Ana terkejut. Angga menajamkan matanya kemudian menatap Ana yang juga menatapnya tak kalah sengit. Ana “Ma yang bener dong aku mau dinikahin besok,” kataku terus mengikuti kemana Mamanya berberes. “Beneran sayang, yang bilang bohongan siapa si,” balas Mama tanpa menatap kearahku. Kemudian aku beranjak mendudukan diri dikursi meja makan, menahan kesal. Masih menghunus pandangan kearah mama yang tengah memasak makan malam. Angga “Ma, Angga nggak mau ya nikah sama tuh bocah,” kataku setelah sampai diruang tamu kediaman keluargaku. “Siapa yang kamu panggil bocah?” Tanya Indira. “Dia bentar lagi lulus kok,” seraya meletakan segelas kopi dimeja . “Lihat kan anaknya lucu gitu Mama suka banget,” Katanya lagi dengan mata berbinar. Bagaimana kelanjutan kisah Angga dan Ana. Simak ceritanya.

Pernikahan tersembunyi antara Salsa dan Dewa. Lika-liku perjalanan kisah cinta yang rumit, dari mulai jati diri Salsa yang ternyata putri kandung Bram, ayah tiri Dewa. Lalu Dewa yang kelahirannya tidak pernah diinginkan oleh kakeknya. Bagaimana nasib pernikahan Dewa dan Salsa? Mampukah mereka menghadapi pahit manisnya bahtera rumah tangga???

On the night they were suppose to celebrate their third anniversary, Maya catches her boyfriend of the time in bed with a woman doing a dance that is old as time itself. She turns to her best friend for comfort who later manipulates her to go out for a night drink which ends up in a beautiful disaster... kissing a stranger perhaps

Community Service. Two words I should be thankful for, but I’m not. I resent the hours it’s away from building my business. When they push the little girl into the room, her crazy curls barely held back by the barrette in her hair, and studious glasses on her face, I can tell she’s scared. Something inside of me breaks, and I want this girl to feel wanted again. What I’m unprepared for is meeting her mom. The second our hands touch, there are fireworks, bright lights, and a picture of the future I could one day have. The future I’ve never allowed myself to wish for. Community service becomes more than a chore. In the months that follow, I realize they’re just like me: they’ve been abandoned, left behind by the world, forgotten by those who should love them. Thanks to the one last hope in both our lives - we found the light in the darkness we’d been searching for.Trick is created by Laramie Briscoe, an eGlobal Creative Publishing author.

Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann are so very happy with their love affair. They have had five years of being alone with each other, and they have talked about having a third party in their relationship. Being bisexual they both love women but they both agree it would take someone so special to love both of them. All Millie Ashton wants is a family who loves her. Her mother has zero maternal instinct, and her two older half-sisters, twins and fashion models Pearl and Ruby, use her as a slave! After a massive row over a ruined top, Millie leaves home. On a wet and windy March day, Millie walks into what seems to be akin to a tiger's den. Superstar rock-god musicians Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann, need a housekeeper. Was looking after the twins a case of better the devil you know, or will Millie find the most wonderful family.

Executive Secretary si Jonie ng isa sa pinakamayamang negosyante sa bansa na si Kenneth Enriquez. Di tulad ng ibang mga babae na nagkakandarapa sa Boss nya, sya lang ang natatanging walang interest dito. Ayaw nyang maging laruan ng amo nya, may plano pa cya sa buhay lalo na't nag-iisa nyang tinataguyod ang Mama nyang may Cancer. Sa di inaasahang pagkakataon ay nalaman nito na nangangailangan cya ng malaking halaga para sa pagpapagamot ng Mama nya. Inalok cya nito ng sampung milyon kapalit ang pagkababae nya at manirahan kasama ito sa iisang bubong sa loob ng tatlong bwan. Nung una ay ayaw nyang pumayag pero wala cyang magagawa. Hindi nya makakain ang prinsipyo nya at buhay ng Mama nya ang nakataya dito. Hanggang sa isang gabi ay nasampal cya nito dahil sa selos.... "Siguro ibabalik ko nalang ang pera mo Sir.. Hindi ko po kasi kayang makipag mabutihan sa lalaking nananakit ng babae. Bahala na po kung saan ako kukuha ng pang opera ng Mama ko pero ayaw ko din isaalang-alang ang buhay ko.." "Babe please!... I'm not as bad as you think. Hindi ko din alam kung bakit ko nagawa sayo yun...first time nangyari sa akin to, hindi ko na kilala ang sarili ko..." "Nakapag desisyon na po ako Sir.. aalis nalang po ako dito sa condo nyo." "Please stay... Hindi ko kukunin ang pera sayo.... sayo na yun.. para sa Mama mo, pero hindi na kita aangkinin, walang mangyayari sa atin sa loob ng tatlong buwan...wag ka lang umalis dito..." Gusto nyang pumayag...bentahe lahat sa kanya ang kondisyon ng boss nya pero ang hindi nya sigurado ay kung kakayanin nya ang pang-aakit nito sa kanya kahit pa sabihing walang mangyayari sa kanila. Masyadong matagal ang tatlong buwan para matiis nya ang karisma ng isang Kenneth Enriquez.

Sloane is bright, fiercely athletic, almost 20 yo Sophomore student. On the track, she's a promising runner with Olympic-sized dreams. Off the track, she's perfectly happy being one of the guys, "the funny one"-a sharp contrast to the typical well dress college girl. But last semester, her tomboy façade cracked. A disastrous, unreciprocated confession to her lifelong best friend left a permanent, painful dent in their friendship. She was ready to power through the awkwardness, keep her head down, and focus on her sophomore season, when, her world was shaken. A celebrated international star athlete and new exchange student, steps onto campus and into Sloane's life. He's popular, he's gorgeous, and he sees the vibrant woman under the baggy sweatshirts. He doesn't just challenge Sloane on the field; he forces her to confront her greatest flaw: her deep-seated belief that she's not beautiful. But as he teaches her what "beauty" truly means, a complicated new set of rules emerges, with her scholarship at risk and loosing her mind over calculus. Can Sloane chase her running dreams, navigate a new and intense romance, and survive the rumors, bad grades, and campus chaos that follow? Or will the pressure of becoming someone new lead to the biggest stumble of her life? ♡ This romantic comedy explores the complications of academic and athletic pressure at the high level demanded by universities as well as the modern beauty standards, while also capturing how fun and dramatic campus life can be for young people. ┖┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┚ This book is entirely a work of fiction. The characters are all fictional, and all rights to this work are reserved by the author.

Amaryliss Altazar. An orphan who was adopted by a wealthy family but treated poorly. She has a past that no one must not know. What if she met the man from his past and makes him remember the dark secret she burned a long time ago? And what if she met a new man who either break her thoroughly or help her fix herself again.