Good Jokes To Tell

My father's company lost a senior executive out of nowhere, so he called me back from overseas to steady things. He even set me up with the best office in the building and an antique ornament as a welcome gift. I had barely started working when a man barged in. He slammed his bag onto my desk, knocking the ornament clean over. Before I could react, he grabbed me by the collar, yanked me out of the chair, and dropped himself into the leather seat like he owned the place. "I'm taking this office," he said, lounging back. "Show yourself out and shut the door." My temper spiked. "This is my office. You need to leave." He let out a cold, dismissive laugh. "Your office? Please! Forget this office. The whole damn Neel Corporation is gonna belong to my girlfriend, Violet Neel. If you know what's good for you, get lost!" I frowned. Wasn't I the one set to take over? Who the hell was Violet supposed to be? I pulled out my phone and called my father. "Have you lost your mind, old man? You've got some secret daughter taking over the company now?"

For three years, I slept with my father’s head of security behind everyone’s back. Last night, with one hand at my throat and the other under my dress, he finally asked for a name, a future, something real. “After graduation,” I whispered against his mouth. “Let me finish my defense first. Then we’ll tell them.” “No.” By then I was shaking beneath him on the leather seat. “Then sooner. On my birthday next Friday. I’ll stop hiding then... Cassian, please—gentler...” That seemed to satisfy him. His mouth softened against my skin, and his voice dropped low against my ear. “Good girl. I just want you too much.” The next afternoon, I met my best friend for tea. The moment she opened the passenger door, she spotted the torn foil packet caught beside the seat and lifted a brow. “Bourbon cherry?” she said, already grinning. “That’s our company’s unreleased line. So this is what you’ve been hiding.” I snatched it up and shoved it into my bag. “It’s not public yet.” She frowned. “That’s the strange part. We only sent those samples to a handful of VIP clients.” Then she pulled out her phone. “I did a product follow-up with one of them yesterday, and his private account was basically a shrine to his girlfriend.” She turned the screen toward me. I only looked once, and my whole body went cold. The man in the photo had a line of Latin script inked low across his abdomen. I knew that tattoo. I had kissed it the night before. My fingers started shaking as I opened the private account Cassian had never shown me. April 4. The conservatory. Me and him. April 7. The upstairs studio. Me and him again. April 11—last night. A six-second clip in the back of the car.

My widowed mother-in-law has an affair with a married man. Whenever she goes out to meet him, she uses me as an excuse and says I need her to run errands. Slowly but surely, my husband, William Sanders, thinks of me as a cruel daughter-in-law who orders her mother-in-law around. One day, my mother-in-law gets pregnant. She secretly uses my name when getting a checkup at the gynecology department and even wants to play the child off as mine and William's. Her lover's wife mistakes me for his mistress and strips me in public before beating me to death. When I open my eyes again, I'm back to the day when my mother-in-law's lover's wife finds out about her going to the gynecology department under my name. This time, I'm calm as I tell the woman what to do. "Let's get to the bottom of this. Let's ask the doctor who the actual patient was!"

Right before graduation, my roommate waved around a job offer from some overseas company. It had a three-day workweek, with a starting salary of $50,000 a month. It sounded too good to be true, so I warned her it might be a scam. When she struck out on other job leads, I asked my dad to get her a position at his company. She scoffed at the eight-hour days and $6,000 monthly salary, calling it slave labor. Then she went live online, falsely accusing my dad of inappropriate advances and pressuring her to bear him a son. When skeptics questioned her, she swore no woman would lie about her honor. The internet erupted, branding my dad a predator. Our company collapsed under the backlash, leaving us drowning in debt. To spare me, my dad jumped from a rooftop to his death. Devastated, I wandered into traffic and was struck by a truck. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day Amber got that shady offer.

I spent five years chasing Tyler Watson, only to get kidnapped right in front of him. He just stood there and watched. As a result, I suffered. After I escaped, he acted all high and mighty and proposed to make up for his tiny bit of guilt. The second we got our marriage certificate, the Simp System’s voice rang in my head. “Congrats, host! You’ve completed your mission.” Just like that, my sanity finally returned. While Tyler waited in a hotel for me to bring him contraceptives, I went live to expose his cheating. For good measure, I even called the anti-vice office to report my dear husband for soliciting prostitutes.

On our wedding anniversary, my husband has his intern put on the custom-made wedding gown he prepared for me. "You wouldn't have looked good in a wedding gown with your baby bump, anyway. She's saving us trouble by wearing the gown for you. Think about how kind she is!" Before I can rebuke him, an earthquake happens. I lose my balance and fall to the floor. Instantly, I feel moisture on my legs. At the same time, my husband received a call from his intern. "There are so many frogs here, Mr. Quinn. I'm so scared…" My husband turns to leave, but I grab his pant leg. "Ethan, I—" "It's just a minor earthquake—the ground barely even shook. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Didn't you hear Chloe crying because she was so scared? Can't you be sympathetic?" He ignores the blood pooling around me and hurries off to comfort Chloe Bennett. That night, they share a passionate kiss under a sky full of fireworks. Meanwhile, my child dies in my belly. It's a pretty good way to end things. Someone like Ethan Quinn doesn't deserve to have his own children.

My younger sister, Celine Lowen, always goes home with her boyfriend, Jeffrey Burton. The thing is, she never uses any contraception when it comes to physical intimacy. When I ask her for the reason, that's when I find out that she gets her back entrance pounded all the time. I tell her that her anal region is very vulnerable, and that it's easy for her to pick up STDs if she keeps using it. In the modern times, everyone is very open-minded about physical intimacy. The one who truly loves Celine won't care about her virginity or lack of. Celine takes my advice very seriously. Later on, after she breaks up with Jeffrey, our mom introduces her to a rich scion named Gabriel Tate. On their wedding night, Gabriel gets into a fight with Celine simply because she doesn't shed any blood during their consummation. The next day, everyone knows about this incident. Feeling very humiliated, Celine pins the blame on me. She dunks my head into a pot of boiling water, her expression already twisted into one of ruthlessness and violence. "This is all your fault! I'd definitely be a rich wife by now if I were still a virgin! No one would make fun of me at all!" When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day Celine tells me she doesn't use any contraception at all.

"What did they say?" He asked, almost too calm and very curious. "An animal fled with her." "They are lying! I want them in prison, till they tell me what happened to my daughter!!" He bellowed, clenching his fist while sitting on his blue, gold railed chair, beside his bed. "They are telling the truth." Seansha tried to reason. "No! They helped her hide away. They hid her, they know exactly where she is. And they will be tortured until they tell me the truth!" He barked furiously. • Ruby William is a modern teenage girl with a good family, good friends and a moderately perfect life. Until the night she turns eighteen, and gets stuck in a dream. Ruby fights to go awake, choosing her real life over her dream, which seemed too perfect. Things are opposite the way they appear, as those who are close to her or share a resemblance with those she loves, are harbinger of her demise.

The cataclysm was upon us. The world was besieged by a wave of deadly frost, covering everything it touched in an icy coffin. We were trapped in a cave of ice, but fortunately, Joshua Frost came to our rescue just in time. I thought I was saved, but I thought wrong. Joshua didn't even give me a moment of his time. Instead, he went to my best friend's side. "Irene isn't good with the cold, and she's not in the best of health. Just hang on for a bit, Sera. The rescue squad's coming soon." When the rescue squad did come, I had passed out from the extreme cold, my body numb. While I was weakened, Joshua stripped me of my Ability and gave it to my best friend.

"Does riding a horse feel good?" The saddle jolted beneath us as the horse trotted along. I steadied myself by holding the slender waist of my friend's alluring wife. Her skirt fluttered constantly in the wind. My friend was in a nearby house, completely absorbed in a card game—while right in front of him, I was out riding a horse with his beautiful, delicate young wife…