Good Jokes To Tell

“So, tell me about yourself Mr. Davenport?” she asks. I don’t look up from my computer, as I log in. “What do you want to know, Miss Harvey?” I ask her. "Are you perhaps dating anyone right now?" she asks. I look up at her surprised by her question. I shake my head. "No..." it’s true I’m not dating anyone right now. Her smile brightens. “That’s good.” She tells me. I frown, “Why would that be good exactly?” I ask, I look back at the screen and see Kendell hasn’t arrived at the sight yet, I’m about to tell her when she speaks again. “So Mr. Davenport, do you find little old me attractive?” she asks me. I look at her… “What are you getting at Miss Harvey?” I ask her. “Come humor me…” she tilts her head. I sigh. “I’d be a fool not to find you attractive, though I don’t know how that’s of any pertinence to right now." I tell her. She smiles. “So what do you say Mr. Davenport, or can I call you Blake?” I ask her. I have no idea what she’s up to. I choose to ignore her. She moves closer to me. “Come on now, don’t ignore me.” she says. I look at her, a little dress that leaves little to the imagination. She’s leaning onto the desk giving me a full view of her breasts. Is she hitting on me? She is hitting on me right? “So how sturdy is this desk exactly?” she asks. I take her in, it’s been four years since I’ve so much as touched a woman sexually. Hell I can’t even tell if she’s flirting with me.

The housekeeper became my stepmother, and together with her son, they humiliated and murdered me. After being reborn, I exposed a video of her affair with her lover at her wedding, destroying her reputation completely. I watched as she and her son were kicked out. They left with nothing, wandering the streets like outcasts. I smiled and tossed a moldy piece of bread into their begging bowl. “This is all you deserve.”

It was the holiday season and I was on my way home when the traffic on the highway came to a standstill. Suddenly, a Maybach came speeding down the emergency lane and slammed right into my car. The driver jumped out and started yelling, jabbing his finger in my face. “Are you blind?! Don’t you know cars turning should yield to those going straight?” I frowned. “My car broke down and this is where I’m supposed to be. You’re the one who broke the traffic laws, yet you’re blaming me for this?” “Traffic laws?” he scoffed, full of arrogance. “I’m the law in Jacksboro City. That Volkswagen piece of junk you’re driving is not even worth one of my Maybach’s tires!” Then he pulled out a baseball bat and smashed it down on my car. He even threatened to break my legs and demanded compensation. I sneered. “Sure, this may be a Volkswagen… but why don’t you take a closer look at the special clearance permit on the windshield?”

After I dropped out of school, my parents didn't pressure me to do anything. But Nicole Hicks kept calling nonstop. She was my boyfriend's childhood friend who had established a reputation as a genius. I was too busy helping out in the fields, growing vegetables, and splashing around in the creek, living my best carefree life. Writing code wasn't even on my mind. In my past life, she had turned in a project just one day before I did. Her codes were exactly the same as mine. Everyone called me a fraud and said I had stolen it. I tried to explain, but no one believed me. Later, she even did a livestream, accusing me online of being a school bully. People went wild. They didn't just come for me—they went after my whole family. Some obsessed troll chased my parents in a car, and they died in a crash. I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped off a high-rise, my eyes still wide open, refusing to accept the way it all ended. Even in my last moment, I couldn't figure it out. That code was mine. My hard work. So how did she manage to post it before me? When I opened my eyes again, I was back, right before everything fell apart.

Three years ago, Samantha Jade and her parents were trapped in a raging fire. She watched with her own eyes as the flames devoured her mother and father. At the critical moment, it was Connor Parker who charged in and saved her. She fell hopelessly in love with him. For the following three years, she drowned in the tenderness he wove so carefully around her. But later, Samantha discovered the truth: that fire three years ago—Connor had set it. He had approached her on purpose, loved her on purpose, all to avenge his first love. Every bit of love, every gentle word, every beautiful moment between them—none of it was real. It had all been a lie. Since he hated her that much, Samantha decided to play along. Amid Connor's revenge, she faked her death. But when he saw the charred body—believing it was hers—Connor lost his mind.

Born to an Alpha hungry for power, presumed powerless Sasha has lived a life void of compassion and love but filled with loneliness and insults all because she wasn’t a boy. Looking to solidify his position of power, her father believed she was good for one thing, so he offers her hand in marriage to the most ruthless Alpha in the northern region, Turk. Unwilling to suffer at the hands of yet another power hungry man, Sasha runs away only to end up captured, believed to be human, and sold as a slave. The only thing…she’s sold to the same Alpha she ran away to avoid. Struck by her beauty and defiance, Turk decides he wants to make her his little Luna, except for one thing….on the day he introduces Sasha as his Luna she realizes his brother and Beta is her mate... The True Alpha of the Tumbale Pack, Bello was never interested in power. His focus has always been on being the best artist he could be and ensuring his pack prospered in other ways. Mateless and uninterested in taking a chosen mate, Bello happily concedes the Alpha position to his older brother, Turk, and accepts the position of Beta, after the untimely death of their father. After returning from a trip on pack business, Bello encounters the most glorious scent, one that could only come from a mate, at a pack dinner he’s forced to attend. The problem, the scent is coming from the human his brother has just introduced as his Luna. What happens when Bello meets Sasha? Will Bello fight for Sasha? Will Sasha accept him as her mate? Will Turk let her go? What is a human doing among wolves?

My neighbor's daughter is sick, and my mother forces me to donate a kidney to her. I've been malnourished since childhood—just drawing blood is enough to cost me my life. However, my mother says, "What does your death matter to me? Rhea is my actual daughter!" Only then do I learn that my mother switched me and our wealthy next-door neighbor's daughter at birth! I glance at my neighbor's daughter, but she's calm and unaffected. I watch as my mother signs the consent form for the operation. My father ties me to the operating table, and my brother performs the surgery. I have no strength to retaliate, so I make one last request—a DNA test with my mother. She agrees—she wants me to stop holding out hope. Later, I forget everything after the surgery, but she breaks down.

When I was five months pregnant, I was kidnapped by a group of thugs. They used my phone to call my brother, Jeremy Wirkola, and my husband, Grant Sanders, to demand a ransom of ten million, but no one answered. I was tortured and assaulted until I was barely alive. When I was finally rescued, Jeremy cried and promised to avenge me. Grant was in tears too. He vowed to get me treated. However, while under the haze of anesthesia, I overheard Grant's cold voice outside the door. “Jessie is waiting for a bone marrow, but don’t forget to remove Ashlyn’s uterus. Just tell her the injuries were too severe to save it. Oh, and get the best surgeon for her. She’s afraid of pain.” His assistant hesitated. He was clearly uncomfortable. “Mr. Sanders, isn’t this going too far?” Grant paused for a second before he replied firmly. “She refused to donate her bone marrow to Jessie and even used the baby as an excuse. She’s selfish. Besides, if we don’t do this, how can I bring back Jessie and our child into the family? As for Ashlyn, she’s my wife. I’ll make it up to her for the rest of my life. She used to bully Jessie with her status, which resulted in Jessie suffering from depression and almost killing herself. It’s time she paid the price for it.” As I listened to his heartless words, something inside me shattered completely. Since they had chosen to sacrifice me for Jessie, let them have what they wanted then.

Dying from wolfsbane, I came back six months into carrying his pup. I went straight to a witch, begged for a potion to slow down the pup's growth. Choked it down. Then every day, I padded my belly with rabbit fur and kept up the act. In my first life, Emily and I went into labor on the same day. She popped out a perfect silver-white pup. Me? A white wolf giving birth to some scrappy mutt. James—Alpha of Ebonfang Pack—looked me dead in the eye and swore I betrayed him. I begged him to test the pup's blood. He did. Results came back: father was from an enemy pack. He called me a traitor, said I slept with the enemy, cut the bond, and threw me out. Five years rogue gutted my wolf. Then he showed up again. Guilt all over his face. "Emily got played by a Darkclaw wolf. She's just an omega—she wouldn't have survived going rogue. I had to swap the pups. Didn't you get the supplies I sent? Whatever, it's over. I'll take care of you now." Emily shot me a look full of venom and passed me a teapot. Didn't even get a word out before the wolfsbane kicked in. I died choking, eyes wide, body frozen. But now? I'm back. I know everything. Let's see how they plan to win this time.

The day my wife slept with her terminally ill “male best friend” to take his virginity, I left a divorce agreement behind and walked out. Before I left, I commented under their hand-holding photo on Instagram. [Let's get divorced. I wish you and Theo a long and happy life together.] One minute later, she called me. "Logan, how did I end up marrying someone as selfish as you? Can you really let him die without someone to carry on his line?" I sneered and replied that she wasn't my wife anymore, so that wasn't really my problem. She panicked.