You'd think that's an impossible line to walk, but I've found a couple where the brutality isn't just spectacle. 'Wraiths of the Broken Land' by S. Craig Zahler comes to mind, though it's a western, not romance. The violence is horrific and presented as such, a raw wound in the narrative that defines the characters' quest for vengeance rather than defining them. The sensitivity isn't in softening the act, but in how the aftermath is treated with a terrible, solemn weight. It’s not eroticized in the slightest, which I think is crucial for that 'handled sensitively' feel—it’s about consequence, not arousal.
In a totally different vein, some dark romance authors try to navigate this by making the initial act a foundational trauma that the entire relationship arc is built to address and heal from. It’s a risky, often controversial choice, and it really depends on the author's skill. When it fails, it feels exploitative and gross. When it works, the 'sensitivity' comes from the long, painful process of rebuilding trust and agency, not from the scene itself. But I’d be lying if I said I’ve read many that pulled it off without leaving a bad taste.