I Keep Holding On Mga Nobela at Kwento

It’s about every single moment before this, all the times he held everything in, all the times he forced himself to be okay, all the times he thought that if he let himself feel too much, everything would fall apart. He doesn’t know how to do this, but I do. So I keep my voice steady, while keeping my hold on him strong. “Then let me stop you, Kade.” His jaw clenches, his fingers tightening like he wants to argue, like the idea of someone catching him is something he doesn’t know how to handle. I don’t let him think his way out of it. “You don’t have to hold this shit in anymore,” I murmur. “Not with me.”

Still demanding. But there was a new gravity now. Not pulling me apart. Holding me in place.

And just stayed there with her. Present. Unrushed. Holding onto the moment while it was still mine to keep.

“This is just a bump in the road. Things will work out.” I scoff softly. Isn’t that what people always say to comfort you? To keep you holding on? But does it ever actually work? I’ve spent my whole life holding on to hope even when I pretended I didn’t care. Even when I told everyone I was fine on my own and that I didn’t need love… Deep down, I still believed. Believed I’d find my person. Believed someone would truly love me. Believed I’d get my happily ever after. I held on to that dream and now look where that’s gotten me. How long am I supposed to keep hoping? How long am I supposed to believe? Until I’m old and gray? Until I’m dead and buried?

Submission. But he won’t stop until he gets it. He promised me that I will submit to him in the end. How long can I keep holding on to my words? How much can I endure? I didn’t know, but I did know it won’t last. And I knew the second I give him the last piece I’m holding through tooth and nail to maintain and keep clean and pure among the dirtiness that he covered me with forcefully, that’s when I will really be dead inside and out.

" I didn't know what to say. So I just held him.

He goes completely still. His arms stay at his sides. I can feel him breathing. I can feel him deciding. But his hands don't close around me. And I stand there holding on anyway. —

I can’t wait to hold you again, Osiris.

“No matter what happens, we’re married.” “It seems silly to get a dress.” “You deserve a real ceremony. Just don’t leave the house until Horace is with you.” “Sí, jefe.” Em lowered his voice. “You know what that does to me?” Memories of last night flashed through my mind. “Now I do.” “Stay safe.” “You, too,” I said. “I love you.” The call disconnected.

it says. I take a breath. Steady. Focused. And this time— When I reach into the system— I don’t fall. I extend. Carefully. Deliberately. Holding onto myself as tightly as I can. Because this time— It’s not about changing everything. It’s about holding it together. And I don’t know if that’s harder— Or if it’s going to cost me even more.