I Was Always Second Until I Left Novels & Stories

Tears of regret rolled down her cheeks. "And if it still doesn't convince you then let me tell you something. You were never his second choice," Ayleen told her, causing her eyes to snap up at her. The revelation hung in the air between them. Serena was confused, not able to comprehend what she meant. Ayleen gave her a gentle smile.

Before she could finish her sentence, I grabbed the ring and said, "Now, leave." "But-" "Now, Lucy!" I shouted at her, "Please leave. I don't want to yell at you again, so please go." I took deep breaths as I waited for her to go. As soon as I knew she was gone, I let myself sink into the bed and let out the tears that I've been holding inside for too long now. Why did you decide to leave me? I thought you liked me too. Was it only my imagination? Why am I always wrong? Is it just me? Can't anyone love me anymore? Can anyone even call me theirs? I'm such a loser I should be used to being left behind. And everyone keeps leaving me behind, whether they meant it to happen or not. But why do

I just couldn't help how jealous I felt. So I stood up from the booth. My men paused their conversations. They all looked at me in confusion and mostly wanted to ask what was going on. But because of what happened earlier, they probably won't ask much. “Are you leaving?” one of them asked. “Yeah,” I muttered. “Bro, we’re still—” “I said I’m leaving.” I cut them off. They went quiet again. I walked out of the club alone. This problem is not going to leave me for the rest of my life. I'm going to constantly get reminded of how I'm not a legitimate child.

Once again, I was the outsider. But it didn't matter anymore. After all the hurt I'd endured, the love I once had for them had been drained dry. Dizziness washed over me, and I knew it was time to go. This time, I left without a second thought. And I did so quietly, without leaving a single trace behind.

I was benched in less than fifteen minutes. I pushed back my chair, walked to the elevator alone and pressed the button for the lobby. The doors closed. My reflection stared back at me from the polished metal of the elevator. Everything my grandfather built, everything my father expanded, everything I was supposed to inherit and protect, maybe gone just like that. I pressed my hands against my mouth and exhaled slowly. “I’m fucked.”

I left before it could cost me anything. The second time was in Hong Kong. Six weeks. A woman whose name I've let myself forget — not because I can't remember but because remembering would require acknowledging that I chose to forget. She was sharp, funny, the kind of person who saw through performance because she lived behind her own. We understood each other, which was the problem. I ended it before she could end it first, which is what I always do, because ending things first means walking away intact. Both times I told myself this was the correct decision. Both times I was in a new city within a month, someone new, someone different, the performance recalibrated.

To ensure that she would have absolute authority, I sold the family heirloom that Mom left me and used all the money I had to help her become the biggest shareholder. Looking back on the past, I realized that the wonderful love that I shared with Grace had just been a massive illusion. Everything that she did was just a part of her scheme. I eventually fell asleep to the sound of the rain and thunder. … Seven days passed in the blink of an eye. I had no idea what Clarence did, but Grace stopped contacting me. I held up my hand and counted down the days with my fingers. There were only three days left before I would be free.

When I heard Isaac's self-righteous questioning, I couldn't help but laugh. "Isaac, I'm not upset. I know I was only ever a stand-in for Lilith, and I know you've never forgotten her." Isaac's eyes widened slightly, and the anger on his face froze instantly. I held his gaze and added, "Your heart has always been with her. Now that she's back, I'm stepping aside. Don't come looking for me again." Without another word, I turned and walked into the subway station with Gavin.

"The Donna is very pleased with the son you gave her, but she'd like a daughter to keep her company too." Not long after I'd given birth, Don Elias Voss pinned me beneath him and took me again and again, all because of those words. Ten months later, I gave them the daughter they wanted. But the moment I heard her first cry, all I could do was watch as she was carried away. The maid beside me wiped away my tears like it was nothing new. It was the second time. Everyone knew that five years ago, in a shootout, Vivian Voss, the family's Donna, had been badly wounded protecting Elias and could never have children. If not for that, I'd never have ended up in his bed. I was only the nanny's daught

We moved slowly enough to give ourselves ample time, neither of us wanting the evening to end quickly. "Thank you for what you did before," I said. "In front of the crowd. That could have gotten really ugly." "You would have taken care of it," he said. "Maybe," I said. "But it made it easier to know you joined in." We walked in silence for a few moments longer. "I'm still not over the split with Darian," I admitted. "It hurts all the time, and I can't seem to get over it." "You will," he said. "Somehow."