The Cat Snitched, So I Got Payback
Madison Hodge, my fiancee, thinks that weighing 160 pounds makes me too fat.
So, I sign up for a gym membership and work out as much as I can. But the more I exercise, the more weight I put on.
Meanwhile, Daniel Webb, a good buddy of mine, livestreams his supper every night. Despite feasting on the most calorie-rich food out there, not only does he not put on any weight, but he even loses ten pounds.
As Madison rips into me for not losing any weight, I suddenly find myself able to hear the thoughts of my tabby cat, Furball.
His mind goes, "Why are you so silly, Master? Daniel chose you as his target for the Weight Swapping System he has! No matter how many pounds you work off, it's Daniel who loses the weight. He's trying to ruin your life!"
Feeling completely stunned, I turn to Daniel, only to see that he's staring at Madison with an affectionate gaze.
Once again, I hear more of Furball's thoughts.
"Daniel is hopelessly in love with that awful woman. Once he slims down, the two of them will start hooking up. They'll team up to take your life and live off your life insurance payout. They'll even enjoy their intimacy during your funeral!"
Now that I know the truth, I simply let out a chuckle.
Since this good buddy of mine loves losing weight so much, I'm sure he'll be extremely grateful to me if I make sure he weighs no more than 100 pounds, right?