Kickass Humour

I am staring at the city lights while having a smoke. It’s been a while since the last time I stayed in this condo. “Mist,” the man called me and I just gave him a boring look. “I want—” “Us back again?” sarkastiko kong sabi, tumango siya kaya tumawa ako. “Sorry, but killing is now my passion, so kill that love of yours.” “Isn’t it love is your passion?” naiiyak na sabi niya. “People change, and I ended that passion.” Iniwan ko na siya sa veranda saka nagtungo sa kwarto nag-ayos ng damit isinuot ang agent suit. Again, I am ready to kill. “Love? What the heck is that, I won’t beg, even if he does, hindi na ako papasok sa mundong yon, that place is chaotic, it is poisonous, venomous that can make you feel ill and numb.” Zyra Mist Alejandro, too tired of loving. If come inside of my heart you can only see words saying ‘end of passion’ because love is a killing potion.

“That must be enough to get you pregnant.” My eyes snapped open, but this time for a whole different reason. “What?” Blaze blinked, looking confused. “What what?” “What do you mean by pregnant?” I demanded, sitting up despite my exhaustion. “Pregnant, as in the mother of my child? You know... the surrogacy?” “Surrogacy? What surrogacy? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Two CEOs got into an arranged marriage for convenience. One is a strong-willed woman who doesn’t believe in love. The other is a cold-hearted man who was rejected by his unrequited love. Adira Hale and Chadwick McElroy appear to be perfect in front of many. They are rich, influential, leaders, and good-looking. People said that they are the best couple, a match made by heaven. But the truth is far from the imaginary perfect romance that one could think of. Adira only married Chadwick in order to get pregnant. All she desires is his body and not his affection. Meanwhile, Chadwick despises the idea of sharing the bed with his wife just because he’s still in love with another woman. Is there a chance for love to bloom between temptation and betrayal?

How many points did I lose for accepting my husband’s divorce five years ago after being framed by who I considered my best friend and losing my unborn baby in the process? -1000 points. Elle Marino, once the heiress of the Marino Family gave up her inheritance to get married to the love of her life. But, things went downhill when she got framed by her best friend and no one believed her. Devastated, she fled back to her hometown and took her rightful inheritance as the head of her family’s business. With the help of her brother, they have made her family name stand proud once again. Now, it's time to show the world that Elle Marino isn't the woman they once knew. She's stronger. Wiser. And more powerful than ever. And she vowed to do everything it takes to bring down her ex-husband’s business and make life unbearable for her ex-best friend. Will she succeed or will her heart once again betray her when he comes begging for a second chance?

Lia Rodriquez lives a fairytale life. A loving husband, the dream family and boundless happiness. She couldn't have asked for more. But her world shatters with a single brutal twist. Her husband's betrayal. It rips away her trust and joy. Grief pile upon grief at the sudden death of her beloved father. Thrust into the dark threads of family obligations, Lia finds herself an unwilling inheritor of the Rodriquez Empire. Obligations comes with enemies and danger. A truth Lia knows all too well. That was why she escaped years ago. But now, there is no choice left for her. Nikolai Volx, a broker, who is haunted by ghosts and the burden of his dying sister. When he receives an anonymous call in desperate times, he grabs it, oblivious to the danger that awaits him. Soon he's entangled in a lethal game of inheritance surrounding a woman where not only his life is at stake, but his heart too. As Lia dismantles the mystery behind her father's death, Nikolai confronts his demons. Can they navigate the dangerous play of power and betrayal while trying to keep their feelings in check or will they become pawns in the deadly game where the price of truth is etched in blood?

After 15 years of war between the two major mafia groups of London, the Blade mafia family and the Darkwood society. Kiara Blade 3rd daughter of the leader in the Blade mafia family(Leo Blade)is given off for a marriage treaty to the new lord of the Darkwood Society (Xander Darkwood). Unbeknownst to Xander, Kiara has been sent as a trained spy to uncover the weakness of Darkwood society. As secrets and weaknesses are exposed Kiara is torn at the dark secret linking her to Xander.

I beg to differ that.", I sassed and got out of his grip ready to move out of the room when he pulled me by my elbow and the next second I was pushed on the visitor's chair. He trapped me completely by keeping his palms on the arms of the chair. "I tried to tell you patiently.", I scoffed at his words. Patience and he don't go in a single sentence. He gripped my chin making me look into his eyes."Now listen carefully Miss, I want you for my niece as her babysitter. Tell me how much you'll take and we can seal the deal." This time it was me who blinked once, twice and thrice. "But I don't want to work for you." See the reason was absolutely clear. I liked the kid since the moment I met her but I hated this man from the moment I gazed into his eyes. "How much?" I frowned."You really think your money can make everyone dance on your tips?" "1200 dollars a week." I rolled my eyes making him lean towards me." 1500?" "Make it 15000 and still I won't work for you.", I retorted and pushed him. I walked to the door and gave him one glance."Next time when you talk to me, make sure you keep all your richness aside. That's one thing that I never want to see you again, you self-centred CEO." "We shall see." . . . Brave but lonely. Passionate but sensitive. That's Arielle Summers. For everyone, Money, Assets and happiness may be supreme but to her, self-respect is prime. Cold and reckless. Commanding and ruthless. That was Nicolas Arnold. He only cared for his niece, his Mama and his friends. Love life didn't exist until- she came into the picture.

Is he trying to insert that thing in my… I fought back and wiggled my body to avoid his big pet when he tried to rub our sensitive part. "Aaargh!" he softly groaned. "Stop resisting me, Susana! We f*cking did this a lot of time!" he growled at me. "I'm not Suzanne! I-I'm her twin sir! Please don't!” I begged him. "Stop lying! Our f*cking son!” He stopped for a moment and looked into my eyes. "You f*cking abandoned him just because you're a slut! Don't f*cking fool me, Susana! Because you'll never fool me again!" he shouted at me, making me close my eyes. "I'm not the woman you're looking for, Mr. I have a twin. Maybe you're talking about her! Her name is Suzanne! I don't even know you, Mr. Believe me I'm not her! I'm her twin!" I insist. "Bullsh*t! Stop lying!” I caught my breath when I felt him enter my hole. I felt like I was stabbed in that part. I couldn't breathe immediately because of the pain at his first entrance. *G*damn it!" he whispered with regret. "I-I told you… I’m not her." I murmured before closing my eyes. I closed my eyes tightly and I was shaking before my vision completely darkened. But before I could open my eyes, I heard one last word he spoke. "F*ck! Shit! Call the f*cking doctor now!”

" No ! No! ! I didn't; I didn't do it ! I wasn't the one who killed your child let me go , I'm not guilty Your highness !" The woman's fuchsia hair was dishevelled and her dark oceanic blue eyes glimmered with despair , without a month's bath, her entire body was covered in stink and dirt . With her trembling shoulders , she cut a sorry figure but none , not one person standing in front of her felt pity for her . The woman was Chelsea Kaisen who was currently being held responsible for the crime of killing the unborn child of the Emperor ; Rogue Kellington . " Chelsea Rosalie Kaisen ; I ; The Emperor on account of the various witnesses and proves ; claim you as the culprit for killing the child of the Empress ; Lilian Amelia Kaisen. With Your Criminal record, This Emperor penalizes you with death due dismemberment " " No ! No , I didn't, Your Majesty I didn't!" Once the sentence fell in her ears Chelsea plunged to the greatest despair . She struggled against her cuffs but her magic failed against them , the harder she struggled the tighter they became . " Father ; brothers! Tell his majesty I didn't do it " When her pleas remained unheard by the Emperor . Chelsea could only turn her plea to her family yet no one listened to her . Instead they were consoling a pretty looking woman with silvery blonde hair and bright blue eyes . When The woman saw Chelsea look her way she shrunk into the embrace of the the man who looked so diffrent yet similar to her . " What are you waiting for; drag that criminal away!" when Rubious Kaisen saw his sister trembling in fear he immediately yelled the guards to take Chelsea away . Even though both were his sister yet he only supported Lilian not her . Coverart notmine - comment/email at somilsingh8400@gmail.com to takeitdown

COMPLETED "Let's give a minute of silence to our beloved sister, daughter-in-law and wife, Chloe Knightley who died by suicide as a result of depression." Mr. Marlowe announced while Chloe held onto his feet with a bleeding head, begging for mercy. ******* In a devastating moment of betrayal and tragedy, Chloe Knightley's life is turned upside down.  Struggling with infertility, she finds solace in the acceptance of her loving husband and in-laws. However, her world shatters when she discovers her husband's infidelity with her own step-sister.  Uncovering a web of deceit, Chloe realizes she was nothing more than a pawn in her own marriage.  Brutally betrayed and discarded, she meets a tragic end at the hands of those she once trusted.  But fate has other plans for Chloe.  Miraculously given a second chance at life, she vows to protect and love only the people who truly matter to her. And as she seeks justice against those who stole her life and tarnished her memory, she uncovers the hidden depths of love that were always within her grasp. In this unexpected twist of events, Chloe must navigate her new life, resolute in her determination to find redemption and expose the darkest secrets of the Marlowe family.