Online Dating Funny Quotes

On the night they were suppose to celebrate their third anniversary, Maya catches her boyfriend of the time in bed with a woman doing a dance that is old as time itself. She turns to her best friend for comfort who later manipulates her to go out for a night drink which ends up in a beautiful disaster... kissing a stranger perhaps

I was on a business trip out of town when I got a text from my neighbor. [Can you and your husband keep it down? Also, one of your undies fell onto my balcony.] Shocked, I opened the photo she had sent. The underwear wasn't even my style, but it matched the one I'd seen in my husband's online shopping cart. He'd told me it was a gift for me, but I remember noticing the size—it was one size larger than mine. When confronted with the neighbor's message, my husband swore that the house must've been broken into and claimed the intruder left the item behind. But something about his story didn't sit right, so I decided to dig further. That was when I stumbled upon his social media. His latest post was just three words. [I bought this.] It was paired with a photo of a lingerie gift set. Beneath it, there was a comment. [I'm wearing it.] Attached was a picture of a woman's legs—and the unmistakable background of my living room. The evidence was undeniable. I packed up the underwear and brought it straight to the police. "My husband says our house was broken into. This was left behind by the intruder, and it might have DNA on it."

In a world where the gods of legend have become actual fact, a few misnomers from another planet seek to simply live their lives in peace. If you could choose one word from the dictionary, one that simply defines you to the core of your soul, what would you say your definition is?

"What do you want? I thought I warned you to stay away from me the last time we talked on the phone?” I said, with my hands across my chest. “Alexandria! What did I do wrong? Please tell me, if it's something I can fix, I will gladly do it! Why all this coldness towards me?” He said, moving closer towards me, and I did not move. Looking at his cute face, I sigh softly. “Fred, you did not do anything wrong, okay! We just had fun, and nothing more!” “Fun? Was that all it was to you?” He asked, his eyes turning red at my words. “Yeah! What else? I asked you out myself, didn't I?” “Yeah, but I thought we were dating? Alex, please don't do this to me! After what I have been through, I thought, I have finally found someone who is genuine, and sincere to fall in love with!” He said, with so much passion that I felt it a little bit. But then, I wasn't the type to love someone. "Can't you see? I have fallen in love with you! I'm head over heels for you, Alex!” He spoke softly, holding my hands again, and looking into my eyes. I could see the truth in his eyes, I could tell that he really does love me. But then, it's a pity that I can't feel anything for him.

A werewolf princess living in the world of humans without any memories of her true identity meets a mysterious man in the woods who claims to be her werewolf mate. **** Abby is a normal college girl who has no memories of her own past. She was found by an elderly couple four years ago and was adopted as a replacement for their long dead daughter. Zhask Zaffiro of the Blood Moon Pack is the soon-to-be Alpha King of the Eastern Werewolf Kingdom who sets out on a mission to look for his lost mate in the Mortal Realm. As a prince who cannot ascend the throne without a Luna, he has one year left to secure his position, otherwise the beta of his pack will become the new Alpha King. But will Abby remember him? Will her inner wolf who has been asleep for years still accepts him as her mate or rejects him? And if she decides to go with him, will she be brave enough to cross the portal to the world she can no longer remember and face the truth about her forgotten past? Follow Abby as she delves deeper into the unknown and perilous life of being a werewolf in a kingdom that has fallen into disarray and finds out how her love for her fated mate grows in a backdrop of constant struggles between life and death, dangers, betrayals, and war.

Ace De Santis is the most successful businessman in the whole world and the leader of the italian mafia. The ghost, mostly known as a legend. Some don't believe SHE exists but she does exist and goes by the name of Alexia Hale. what will happen when those two must work together?

Charlotte Winston is an omega who gets abused by her pack members. She is twenty years old and still hasn't heard from her wolf. She thinks she's wolfless that is until one rainy day. Damon Massimo still hasn't found his mate until a visit to Charlotte's pack changed that but he doesn't want an omega as his Luna. "Just say you reject me," I told him ignoring the lump in my throat. I can't cry not in front of Damon. He looks at me with a sadistic smirk, he traps me in between his arms and whispers, "Who said I was going to reject you Cara?" he asked with venom in his voice, "No, I'm not going to reject you but I'm going to show the moon Goddes that if she thinks it's funny to give me an omega as my Luna she's playing a prank on the wrong Alpha," he finished looking at me with disgust.

Alif, a handsome young man who has just returned from wandering back to Jakarta. There he was fought over by two beautiful women, Lisa, and Ning, his childhood friends. However, many strange things happened in the village of Menyan. The loss of a baby and the disappearance of a woman's pregnancy there are some of these strange occurrences. Alif is also faced with the charm and mystery of Kumara, his new neighbor's wife who is rumored to be the incarnation of kuntilanak (a famous female ghost in Indonesia who is believed to have wandered because she was raped, abused, or died while pregnant) because she doesn't want to leave the house during the day and often acts out of bounds. On the other hand, Kumara who is very beautiful and sexy, admits that she and Alif once knew each other and were close, but Alif forgot. Can Alif face all the strange situations?

It had been five years since I started dating Ross Jenner. His family invited my mother and me to their family home in Fellaton to discuss our wedding plans and to spend Valentine's Day together. It was past 10:00 PM when my mother and I landed, but Ross wasn't there to pick us up because his college junior, Laurel Elledge, had just arrived in Fellaton. He told me to figure out a way to get a cab to the house myself. In a strange place, unfamiliar with the area, it wasn't long before we found ourselves in danger. Just over ten minutes outside the airport, we were robbed. My mother was injured while trying to protect me, and she collapsed, bleeding heavily. Desperate, I held onto her, frantically trying to call Ross. Each call was abruptly cut off, and when I finally reached him, he sounded irritated. "Jennifer, you're an adult, so stop acting like a child. You couldn't even hail a cab on the street? Laurel just got to Fellaton and isn't feeling well. I need to take care of her." Without waiting for a response, he hung up. I tried calling again, only to find that I had been blocked. In the end, my mother's injuries were too severe, and she bled out before the doctors could save her. As I stared at her lifeless body, tears flowed uncontrollably. When I finally checked my phone again, the first thing I saw was a picture Ross had posted on Twitter. In the photo, he was kissing Laurel and holding a bouquet of roses. [Spending Valentine's Day with the one I love most.] I quietly threw the gifts I had brought from home into the trash. Then, I left a comment, which said, [Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness.]

Kidnapped by the billionaire Synopsis Mercy's write Extract from the story I starred at the kidnapper billionaire in front of me. "Can you explain to me why am in your office right now"I yelled at him. "Look valarie,this is a business organization so just keep it low woman"he said and scoff. *yea arrogant billionaire* "Valarie,I don't know how to say this but I really do know I need your help"he said nervously. "An what help can a poor lady render to a billionaire"I said and he started at me before answering "Be my girlfriend,valarie"he said and I felt my head spinning. "Did you hit your head in something or what,firstly I woke up only to be in your house,you kidnapped me Xavier and now you are asking me to be your girlfriend you"I said and ruffled my hair. "I don't really say please to any lady,but you are just proving hard to get,I really need this,my parent wants me to get a girlfriend and I promise it just a two month thing"he pleaded with sincerity written on his green eye. . . . Meet valarie Valarie a 22 year old lady,dealing with her not so good life who suddenly meets a billionaire who ordered coffee in a late hour and she refuse, What happens when she wake up only to find herself in the youngest billionaire's mansion? Carry on. Grab ur popcorn Strictly written by mercy Mercy's write