Phallic Vegetables Novels & Stories

"There is every shape vegetable on the planet in there. One of them will surely do." No. I did not hear him correctly. I looked closer at the box of vegetables. Several were phallic shaped. He wouldn't. Ever so slowly, I turned so I faced him. My hands found one of the vegetables in question. Brack stupidly held his ground. The satisfying thunk when it hit his chest did nothing to alleviate my anger. I chucked the next one at his face. When he raised his arms to block it, I threw another. "Stop," he said as he backed up a step.

"This is a Pitcher Plant. Unlike the Venus Flytrap that snaps shut, it lures insects inside with nectar. Once they fall in, they can't climb back out." I leaned over immediately. "So... it's basically a scam artist." Andrew pursed his lips to hold back his laughter. Barry blinked sharply, then cleared his throat. “I suppose that's one way of putting it," he muttered, walking forward. "These are orchids. There are over twenty-five thousand known species." “Twenty-five thousand?" “Err… Approximately." "So you're telling me flowers have DLC?" Barry stared at me flatly. Andrew chuckled quietly. “Let's head to the next enclave, please.” Barry said, already walking away.

And Froatlan won’t be the only nation. In the past few weeks, I’ve quietly catalogued dozens of unique products from the other small and mid-sized UNA nations. Magical root vegetables that resist rot for a year. Glowing citrus fruits that radiate low warmth and light—perfect for winter camps or dim houses. Spices that act as natural sedatives. Mushrooms that double as soap. Beans that combust under high friction and are being researched by Bina's weapon division. They guarded these things like national treasures, but they never truly studied them. They don’t have the labs, the protocols, the foresight. All they knew was: this is special, so let’s keep it close.

Venom furrowed his brow. “That’s astounding,” he said. “But, what’s buried there?” Asked Cory. Venom let out a deep sigh. He showed Cory a space in his row of bottom teeth. “You’re missing a tooth?” Said Cory, not understanding the connection. “Yes, a wisdom tooth,” said Venom. “We all are!” He added, gesturing to the six warriors including himself. “To help transform a mandrake plant and sometimes even just a turnip into a body resembling us when Anestra would fake our deaths, she would pull out one of our teeth and embed it in the mandrake or the turnip. Her sorcery turned the plant into a lookalike corpse. The living breathing traitorous versions of us were her in disguise of course but t

"Eat a little slower, eat a little slower, Little Yin." "Aiya! That is mine, you old fogey!" "This is meat. Put more vegetables on your plate." "Uncle, your plate also has no vegetables." Fresh and tender meat from spiritual beasts, a rare catch of seafood from another city, different heavenly plants, ancient mushrooms, spicy herbs, vegetables, seeds and roots... it was a feast!

Ethan’s expression changed immediately. After finishing one piece, he made a decision almost instantly. “Clar.” “I misunderstood you just now.” “Where did you find this?” “Is there a lot?” His tone became urgent. “If there’s enough…” “We won’t have to worry about the cold season.” Clar nodded. “The leaves are oval-shaped.” “There are small yellow bulbs on it.” “They’re called yam bulbs, and they’re edible too.” “What we’re eating now is the root.” She thought for a moment.

He then brought the basket to Elio, looking like an old man who just got back from the market. After he placed the basket on the coffee table. Elio took a closer look and saw the grapefruit-sized object inside it. It had an ugly grayish-black wrinkled exterior, and it smelled nauseating. A scorching heat emanated from it as if it had just emerged from an oven. Elio's eyes widened. "It’s a Scarletflame Fruit! It's a precious fruit that grows inside volcanos, and it takes at least a thousand years to grow to this size. Despite its looks, it’s a truly rare find!”

“Is that why you didn’t let go of my waist the entire journey?” Griff advanced on me and snarled, the sound making my nipples tingle. The air between us sizzled, and the temperature rose several degrees. His gaze dropped to my lips, and his hot breath fanned against my skin. My core tightened. I raised my chin, daring him to deny rubbing himself against my ass. “Young love.” Demeter emerged from behind the column holding a round disc filled with soil. “What are you doing?” I stepped away from Griff. She wiggled her fingers, and tiny white spots appeared within the black that grew into six-inch-tall mushrooms. I bit down on my bottom lip. First flesh-eating plants, and now fungi? Why on earth

he said. I looked at him. "What?" I said. "Roasted broccoli," he said. "It knows what it is." He paused. "You roast it and it becomes more itself." He paused. "It doesn't pretend to be anything else." I looked at the ceiling. "You just described a vegetable using category eight principles," I said. "Noah would agree," he said. I thought about it. "Yes," I said. "The roasted broccoli." He looked at the ceiling. "Anything else?" he said.

Blaze examined the vegetables and noticed a strange smell associated with them. His mind flashed with a particular slow poison he read about recently from one of Bella's books. 'All of these vegetables smell like the weedy poison I read about' he thought. If he just read about it, then he wouldn't have recognized it so readily. He also saw the weed himself and the smell is so toxic, it stuck with him more than the other kinds of slow poisons he saw that day. Blaze returned the vegetables back to the villagers. "Don't eat these vegetables. Dispose them somewhere no one can find them" Blaze instructed.