Really Dark Humor Jokes

“Tell me you hate me,” Mikhail whispered, aggressively pressing the side of my face against his expensive wooden table. I inhaled sharply, fighting back the moan in my throat. “I…” I wanted to force the words out, because I did. I hated him with every fiber of my being, with every drop of the blood in my veins. At the same time, I didn't. I had never put a label on the other thing I felt for him. He would never feel the same, and he would scorn me. “Say it, Marlowe. Say you hate me.” He dared, thrusting hard into me and stealing my breath. “Oh my God,” I cried out, pushing my ass backwards to meet his thrusts despite myself. “You can't say it, can you?” He laughed scornfully. “I… hate you.” I managed, inhaling sharply. He tugged my hair, fucking me harder. “No, you don't.” I couldn't argue, because an earth shattering orgasm snuck up on me and blinded my thoughts. When I recovered, I realized he was not completely wrong. *** *** *** Marlowe had a simple, happy life up until her late teens when she was about to go to college. Her father was murdered in cold blood and her mother fell apart. She was left to take care of herself and her mother, and all her dreams were shattered. She is kidnapped and sold to someone she once knew and was in love with. Mikhail Romanov. He is an entirely different person now. But Marlowe is an angel and she can melt the hardest of hearts. They fall in love with each other, but with this romance comes a revelation of secrets that shatter Marlowe and all that's left of her is a woman that is filled with hatred and anger, and desperate for revenge.

Lena thought she escaped the nightmare of her car accident, but Cassian has other plans. He stalks her every move, appearing in the mirrors, his whispers consuming her mind. The lines between fear and desire blur as his touch ignites something dark and uncontrollable inside her. He’s not just haunting her—he’s claiming her. Every encounter draws her deeper into his twisted world, where pleasure and pain collide. The question isn’t if she can escape, but if she even wants to. As the boundaries of her body and soul erode, Lena finds herself unable to resist his overwhelming pull.

He moved so fast, my brain didn't seem to catch up until I was pressed against him, his one hand entwined in my hair as he forced me to look into his eyes - those dark rimmed, forest green eyes - while his other hand cupped my backside, lifting me so that I was forced to stand on my tiptoes. "I may not be your alpha, cara mia, but I am your owner and you will obey me until you pay back what you owe me," he said slowly, enunciating each word carefully as if he were fighting his wolf for control. "Until that day, you are mine and mine alone." --- Being owned by her own mate was not a scenario Eliana ever thought she'd be in. However, when Luca Castello won her in an auction, she found herself in a desperate situation - especially when he rejects her and demands that she works for him in order to pay off what she owes him. Will she be able to live her life under his command without succumbing to the attraction she feels for him, or will another claim her heart and body?

In a deadly game of spies and dealers, trust is the ultimate weapon—and love the most dangerous betrayal. Sabrina is a cold, detached assassin, trained to infiltrate, manipulate, and eliminate without hesitation. But her latest mission is different: Viktor, a sadistic arms dealer with a dangerous empire, is her target. What begins as a professional operation soon turns into a psychological nightmare. Viktor has secrets of his own and plays a twisted game, pushing her to her limits with violence and manipulation. As Sabrina is drawn deeper into his dark world, she begins to lose herself, torn between completing the mission and the suffocating love Viktor offers. She must decide: escape or join him in the darkness.

“I walked away once. This time, I'm taking everything back, starting with my revenge.” Alexander Brooks turned his back on the mafia life, but betrayal forces him to embrace to cold arms of crime in a quest to take revenge on all those who wronged him. As he reclaims his throne, Emily Watson; a reporter threatens to expose him. What happens when Alexander finds out that the reporter was the lady he had a one night stand which resulted to the shocking discovery that she was she mother of his children? Now, with Enemies closing in and his family's secret at risk, Alexander must protect what is his, even if it meant crossing his boundaries.

Warning : This book is filthy, addictive, and dangerously addictive. Once you start… you won’t want to stop. NAUGHTY DESIRES — because some cravings are too wicked to resist. In the velvet darkness where pleasure and pain entwine, surrender is the only choice. A dominant stranger pins you beneath him on a bed of crimson rose petals, his hand wrapped possessively around your throat as your body trembles in helpless ecstasy. A ruthless billionaire demands your complete submission in a candlelit penthouse, turning your whispered “no” into a breathless “more.” A dangerous lover drags you into the shadows, where every touch brands you, every command unravels you, and every climax leaves you aching for the next forbidden taste. These scorching stories plunge deep into the rawest, darkest corners of desire—where powerful men take what they crave and willing women beg to be taken. No limits. No mercy. Only raw, dripping, heart-pounding heat that will ruin you for anything tame.

A cold and ruthless Mafia Kingpin, "kill or be killed" is what Louis lives by... Until he meets Sarina: a sexy, mysterious woman who turns his life upside down. Follow Louis's journey as he transitions from a young, teenage boy into a mob boss, as he is influenced by his crime lord stepfather Steve Sawyers. Watch Louis as he is thrown into a dark and dangerous world of drug smuggling, gun trafficking, money laundering, fraud, sex, psychopaths and murderers... There aren't any friends on these streets.

I was twenty-one when the gypsy read my future: As punishment for your crimes, you will only love one woman...but she'll never love you back. I didn't believe a word of it. Until I met Sofia Romano almost ten years later. I fell hard for this woman. Would die for this woman. But she left me. Now years have passed and Sofia needs a husband. Her father is gone and her mother is trying to marry her off to a man that can protect their family, protect their company. She's looking for someone powerful. Check. Someone rich. Check. Someone handsome. Double check. Now it's my chance to have the only woman I've ever loved...and I'll make sure she feels the same way. I have a lifetime to make that happen.

Sienna Peterson had the whole “happily ever after” thing locked down… or so she thought. She married her college sweetheart, mastered the art of casserole-making, and dove headfirst into suburban adulthood. Twenty-one years later? Her husband’s traded her in for someone who still gets carded, her kids are off to college, and Sienna is suddenly very single with a whole lot of free time. Cue the midlife plot twist. Who says your 40s can’t be fabulous? Who says you can’t date a ridiculously attractive and a billboard 26-year-old named Daniel Walter—who just so happens to be sweet, sexy, and seriously into her? Daniel may be younger, but he’s got his life together and his heart in the right place. Sienna, on the other hand, has no idea how she ended up in a situationship with a man who knows how to properly fold fitted sheets. But hey—he makes her laugh, makes her blush, and makes her feel more alive than she has in years. It starts off as just fun... but what if it’s more than that? What if age is just a number, and love is the surprise twist she never saw coming? One woman’s fresh start. One unexpected romance. And a whole lot of awkwardly hot moments.

Lily lives in a refugee camp with her mother and father. One day, her father is approached by some men offering him work. He takes up the offer in the hope to provide for his family, but Lily never sees him again. Soon later, her mother is shot dead escaping some rapists in the woods. With both of her parents gone, Lily is left to fend for herself, dragged into the heartbreaking, brutal world of human trafficking, when she comes across a man named Lazarus Landucci.