Short Dirty Jokes

When a child mysteriously disappears from a small town and even his mother seems indifferent, it’s time for the new sheriff to step in. Meet Chris Baker, the new sheriff of the quiet Adirondack town of Clifton Heights. As one inexplicable case after another forces him to confront the townsfolk in The Skylark Diner, it’s the furtive Gavin Patchett that hands Chris a collection of not-so-fictional short stories that tumbles him into a world of monsters, ageless demons, and vengeful citizens. As Chris reads through the stories the veil starts to lift, and he soon questions what is real and what’s not, and whether he really wants to know. Nothing will ever be the same again. ©️ Crystal Lake Publishing

“I tried to find you everywhere, and now you're here, I won't ever let you go again” Alexa Antonio is a princess in her own world in a small town in Pangasinan. She was known for being the 'spoiled-brat-mayor's-daughter. “Life is short, so better live your life to the fullest”, that is her motto in life but she seems to be overreacting because at the age of 21, she almost did every naughty thing you might think of, and she still has a lot of evil thoughts to do because based on her, she doesn’t want to regret something when she grows older just because she was afraid to try different things. But what if life's play with her and taught her a lesson? Will she be able to face the consequence of all of her actions or just choose to give up?

Raya is the daughter of the town’s drunkard, her father had a dirty habit of gambling and losing money. He blames her for everything miserable that has happened to him, including her mother abandoning them. Raya wanted to see her mother again and ask her why she left her at the mercy of her father. When she got mated forcefully to Alpha Toph, her father saw it as a way to pay off his debts and start afresh, even when the psycho alpha didn’t love his daughter. Alpha Toph treated Raya worse than anything she has ever seen and Raya made up her mind, she was going to run away. Her escape attempt led her straight into the hands of her second mate, Alpha Toph’s half-brother and worst enemy. Alpha Nikolai. Alpha Toph would do anything to have her back and Alpha Nikolai isn’t ready to let her go.

Delfina Poletti is a twenty-four-year-old woman raised by deeply religious but loving parents. Her faith and view of the world is shattered when her cousin tangles with the wrong crowd, putting their lives into danger. Trading her life for theirs, Delfina marries a mob underboss for the Matrone family, Ercole Muraro,more than fifty years older. When he suddenly dies, Ercole’s family comes out of the woodwork demanding answers Delfina cannot provide. Furio “The CEO” Matrone, is head of the Matrone family mafia. A billionaire in his own right he is tasked by his father to make sure Delfina never reveals the truth behind her marriage contract, even after her husband’s death. Furio twice her age, has been her secret crush since the day they met. While she suffered under Ercole, it was of his godson Furio, Delfina dreamed. Ruggero Rapallino, a billionaire who worked hard to keep his businesses distant from his grandfather’s dirty dealings, is desperate. From the day Ercole Muraro introduced him to Delfina, Ruggero wanted her, secretly lusting after his grandfather’s wife. Finding out the old man left nothing to her in his will he finds himself provided the opportunity to find out more and to insert himself into her life. He wants to be her savior and to right the wrongs he knows the dead man committed. Delfina finds herself torn between a nice guy and the wickedest man she’s ever met. One can give her peace and serenity while the other makes her want to watch the world burn. What’s a girl to do when she has two hot men pounding on her bedroom door? Try them all on for size, of course.

After I became pregnant, my figure changed, and my face grew puffy. My fiancé began to treat me with a subtle, almost imperceptible sense of disdain. When the baby was five months along, it happened to be Valentine's Day. That day, he finally agreed to take our wedding photos, something I'd been hoping for. But just as we arrived at the bridal studio, his phone rang. "Mike, I just got back to the country. My friends are hosting a gathering, and everyone's bringing their boyfriends. Could you come and pretend to be mine?" It was a few short sentences, yet it completely altered the expression on his face. He turned abruptly, stepping out of the studio with a look of urgency. "Lucy's back. I have to go see her," he said. Hearing those words, a fire of rage ignited inside me, one I couldn't suppress. "For her? You're going to leave me here alone?" I demanded. "Do you even know how long I've been looking forward to today? It's Valentine's Day, and instead of staying with me, you're going to be with her?" His impatience flared visibly as I stood my ground. Without a word, his hand pushed me aside, and he strode out of the shop. "We can take wedding photos any day. I'm the only one Lucy has in this country. I have to go see her," he said. Then, gripping my wrist with alarming force, he shoved me, sending me sprawling to the floor. Without a backward glance, he got into his car and drove off. I felt a sudden, wet heat flowing from my lower abdomen. Pain surged through my stomach, sharp and unbearable, as my consciousness started to fade. A wave of despair and terror consumed me. Someone. Anyone. Please save my baby.

Maddie's world come to a halt when her father kicks her out of the house. She is a couple bucks short from renting a house. And she can't afford to get a room at a motel. She is out of options. Until Drew, heir to the multibillion McBride Foods, proposes marriage to her. It is to be in name only. No feelings attached. That is, until Drew starts slaying dragons for her. The dragons might have sprung up from his world, but still...

Jacke, an archdemon and crime boss, is loyal to his family and seemingly no one else. Alexandria is the Alpha to the Wolves of La Muerte, and one of the only female Alphas known in the world of werewolves. Fate pairs these two in a way that would seem to be their undoing, with Jacke being cynical and mistrusting towards Alex's claims that he is her mate, and Alex being determined to no end other than having Jacke by her side. Will Jacke bring down his walls to let Alex in, and trust that she won't betray his faith or fall short and leave both of them in shambles?

"Mmmn, Zane” I moaned amidst the heat of passion. The sexual urge was inevitable. “Imagine I’m right in front of you” He sounded soft, s*xy, and seductive. “I can see you shirtless with the s*xy abs you’ve shown me” I imagined his naked figure in front of me. “Good. Now imagine everything you want to do to me. I can also see you with a s*xy red bra on, revealing those juicy b*obs” “Mmmn I can feel your hands on my b*obs” I moaned loudly. A sudden knock on the door disrupted the s*x call that felt almost real, and I was extremely aroused. I disconnected the call to get the door. “Hmmn Finn” I moaned his name coldly, allowing him in. “Hi Rita” He smiled innocently. I stared at him seductively. I saw everything Zane told me to imagine earlier. Naked, hot, and sexy! I drooled, heavily aroused, and engrossed in my dirty imagination. I jumped on innocent Finn, pinned my body against him, and kissed him deeply. Looks like Finn understood the assignment. He didn’t resist; he lifted me in bridal style, laid me on the couch, and yanked off my clothes. ~~ He satisfied my sexual desires and made me feel like a woman. I gave Finn my body, and I didn’t care, but unknowingly, it was the greatest mistake of my life.

On the first day of work, the company president said that I looked like his long-lost daughter and gave me a salary of 100 thousand dollars, on the condition that I ate together with his wife every weekend. Once my boyfriend heard this, he yelled at me in front of my colleagues, “How could you believe such a cheap lie?! It’s just an excuse for him to pay you for dirty favors! If your mother learned that you got yourself a sugar daddy after graduation, she’d jump off a building!” So, I rejected the president’s offer. Someone told the department manager that my boyfriend and I insulted the president, and he fired us. My boyfriend was really shocked by this. He stayed at my place and loafed around instead of working. When he no longer had any money left, he asked my mother for money. After that, he asked me to sell my organs. After I said no, he knocked me out with chloroform and sent me to an unlicensed clinic. The doctor there did not use the standard procedures, so I died from the pain. When I opened my eyes again, I returned to the day I met the president. This time, I shouted, “Sir, you look just like my father, even though we are not related at all!”

Waking up in a gloomy damp cave is not a problem. Finding only a dirty men's shirt and high leather boots is also fixable. But what about the fact that you remember absolutely nothing? Who are you? Where are you from? Why was here? There is only one unknown ahead. Well, at least a noble knight got caught on the road. Picked up, washed, fed, but volunteered to help. And soon a young, handsome lord will appear. It doesn't matter that a vampire - we ourselves are toothy!