Short Dirty Jokes Novels & Stories

“In the middle of a dark forest, a man and a woman have sex. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, ‘Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!’ The woman replies, ‘Me too. You’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!’” Then I burst into loud laughter. ********* “Stop it, Conan. For Christ’s sake.” I laughed frantically to get away from him. A chuckle broke out while he tickled my neck, armpits, and waist. “If you don’t stop being childish, I will surely kill you.” “Would you like me to tell you another joke?” “Oh, no!” I blurted out. “I’ll pee in my gown if you don’t stop your dirty jokes.”

My short hair felt sticky under the cap and I wiped sweat from my neck. A girl two seats over leaned toward me during the first icebreaker shout. “Hey new face, what's your name and one fun fact? I cleared my throat and dropped my voice low. “Alex. I like soccer and keeping shit low key.” She giggled. “Cool Alex you look like you could kick ass on the field. I’m Mia by the way. My fun fact is I can shotgun a beer in under ten seconds.” “Nice one Mia, maybe I will see you try that sometime,” I said, keeping it short but forcing a grin.

“Whatever you’re doing at ‘work’ tonight… hurry home. Both of you can fuck me senseless for all I care.” I snorted at my own joke, then immediately winced because yeah, that was a weird thing to say even alone. Little did I know how soon that joke was going to bite me right in the ass. And how much I was going to enjoy it when it did. [ You might be reading this wrong, but trust me, the real thrill is still ahead.^^]

“Now. The laugh. I heard you yesterday, when you thought no one was listening. It’s too high.” He stopped in front of me, tapping his own chest. “Elion’s was deeper. From here.” The gesture was intimate. Unexpected. I flinched. His jaw tightened instantly. “Try again,” he said. “I’ll tell you a joke. It’s a terrible one. Elion hated it.” He told it anyway... something painfully unfunny involving a squirrel and a priest. I forced out a weak chuckle, the sound thin and hollow. “No.” The word cracked like a whip.

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“Hey, no brooding. This is an adventure, not a prison sentence. Let me distract you.” She turned to him, her expression wary. “What are you going to do? Tell me one of your terrible jokes?” “You wound me,” he said, clutching his chest dramatically. “But yes. Absolutely.” He cleared his throat, adopting a serious tone. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other?” Riele blinked, momentarily thrown off. “Why?” “Because they don’t have the guts.” The joke was terrible. Absolutely awful. But Riele burst into laughter anyway, the tension in her chest breaking apart with each giggle. Jay grinned, triumphant, as if her joy were his greatest victory.

"I have a sense of humor, thank you very much. I just don't find your fart jokes funny." Felecia snickered. "Everyone likes a fart joke, Moana." Harper waved his fork at Kelsey. "I don't care who you are. Fart jokes are classic." "Stop calling me Moana." Kelsey rolled her eyes. "They're disgusting." "You're disgusting." "Your mom's disgusting." Jamie's brows shot up and he covered his mouth with a fist. "Oh." "Now who is being immature?" Harper's grin only widened. "Your mom jokes are classic. Everyone knows that." Kelsey waved her hand.

Hе ѕnоrtеd. “You knоw thаt jоkе wasn’t funny thе fіrѕt tіmе ’rоund.” I ѕnарреd. I wаѕ so оvеr аll the Cаѕреr jоkеѕ, іt seemed like everyone was іn оn іt. “It ѕо wаѕ, never mind I соuld pay fоr уоu a spray tаn.”

I arched a brow. “Then I guess I have to name all 193 countries.” He smiled tight-lipped. “Don’t worry, I’m patient.” I fork my food as I kept staring at him while he does the same, “You’re really not going to leave me alone, are you?” “Nope.” He pops the P. “Alright, this knock knock joke is going to make you pee.” I placed my fork don to be attentive, “Okay, let’s hear it.” “How to make a tissue dance?” He smirks at me.

“Uhm, my car is this way. It’s pretty small, sorry. I don’t usually drive lumberjacks around, so I got a compact.” I laughed warmly. “So that’s all I am to you, huh? A lumberjack?” “I guess you would be more of a timber wolf?” she said, tapping her chin with the tip of her finger. “And you say I tell bad dad jokes?” I asked incredulously. “That one blows Fur Sure Solutions right out of the water.” Marley giggled. “What? I thought it was clever.” “The joke, much like you, was very clever,” I said indulgently. “But it was also very bad.”