Silly Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

Andrea - Deciding that I was going to skip a day at work so I could have first time sex with my boyfriend seemed like the most absurd decision I could ever make. Or at least that was what I'd thought. Until I'd walked in on my said boyfriend cheating on me with some redhead and decided to get my revenge by losing my virginity to his wealthy billionaire father instead. Crazy, right? Trust me, I know. Like that's not enough, things take a drastic turn for the worst after I realized I was in love with him and pregnant with his child. Alejandro - I should have known better than to get involved with someone way younger than me. It was something I've never done before. But like the saying goes, there's a first time for everything. The first time I met Andrea I was captivated by her beauty. More than that there was this innocence in her that called out to me like a moth to a flame. I ignored all the warnings in my head and went after what I wanted. And what I wanted was her. Unfortunately what she wanted was revenge against my son. I told myself that it had to be some kind of mistake. There was no way she had been playing with my feelings and planning some silly revenge this whole time. But she had. But I couldn't deny that she'd fooled me real good alright. So naturally I cut ties with her. And that's supposed to be the end, right? Wrong. Turns out that our story was never destined to end just there. . .

'Clothes wouldn't be necessary here, Milady' He should have known she was up to something when she suddenly started to act naive, when she was after all, an escort. 'W-what the hell are you doing in my room?' She had asked when he first entered But he let his third leg do the thinking and forgot to be rational. 'I usually find the hard-to-get game, silly and boring. But, I think this roleplaying stuff gets your juices flowing. How about you be my naughty student instead.' He gently tucked her hair behind her ears and stared at her lips 'I am an escort sir. Not. A. Prostitute. My job description is escort and not call girl. I'll appreciate it if you leave my room or I'll call security.' 'Is this some sort of twisted role play? I already told you to stop. I paid for the night. What the fuck is going on here?' *** It wasn't role play. The slut had a nasty game up her sleeves. Set up and then blackmail. Fucking sleazy reporters were already at his door. Louis knew how deadly the media was in pushing stories about people like him. A false story about him had previously ruined his life. His father had suffered for it as well. He decided to give the media a story that wouldn't ruin him. Who didn't prefer romance to anything else? He looked into the slut's face and threw the proposal in her face. 'You would have to marry me.'

Marked by Monsters Genre: Dark Fantasy Romance, Reverse Harem, Academy, Monster Mates I thought I was human. Normal. Boring. Cursed with a gluten allergy and a sarcastic streak. But on my eighteenth birthday, lightning slammed into my chest like a cosmic bitch slap, and I woke up with no memory… and a very illegal ability to shift into a silver and black wolf. That’s when the enforcers came. They called me a threat. A ticking magical bomb. And they threw me into Gravemire Academy, a creepy, ancient school built for supernatural disasters like me. Now I’m the new girl in a school where detention can literally kill you, and every hallway smells like blood, sex, and secrets. Worse? I’m being claimed by four dangerously hot, infuriatingly possessive monster boys who swear I’m their fated mate: 🐺 A broken alpha with murder in his eyes. 🐉 A dragon prince with a sharp tongue and sharper claws. 🧛‍♂️ A vampire who looks at me like I’m his last meal. 😈 And a dream demon who touches me like he already owns my soul. Each kiss makes my magic spiral. Each touch unravels a curse tied to my bloodline. If I kiss the wrong one first… I might doom them all. Oh, and there’s something ancient inside me. Something powerful. Something waking up. I don’t know who I was before Gravemire, but one thing’s clear: I’m not just their mate. I’m the weapon that was never supposed to exist. And I’m done being controlled.

In Chicago's underworld, power is currency and loyalty is bought in blood. Jameson Connelly needs a wife to claim his throne. Catarina Vitale needs an escape from her gilded cage. Their arranged marriage should be simple—a business transaction, nothing more. Except nothing about this is simple. To the world, Catarina is the perfect Italian princess: refined, untouchable, ornamental. The truth is far more dangerous. She's been trained since childhood to wield blades with lethal precision, her family's most lethal weapon hidden behind designer dresses and polite smiles. When Jameson discovers her midnight blade work and weapons collection, all bets are off. He's grumpy, commanding, and impossibly sexy—everything she shouldn't want. She's lethal, sarcastic, and hiding secrets that could shatter his world. The attraction between them is instantaneous and absolutely forbidden. But their marriage has painted targets on both families' backs. Rival factions circle like sharks, and assassination attempts multiply as quickly as the stolen glances between newlyweds. When Jameson's uncle emerges as a threat from within, Cat must decide how far she'll go to protect the man she's sworn to resent. And Jameson must choose between the empire he's always wanted and the woman he never expected to need. In a world where trust is weakness and love is a liability, they'll have to forge something stronger than steel to survive. A gritty slow-burn mafia romance featuring grumpy meets curvy, sharp banter, dangerous secrets, and the kind of tension that burns hotter than any fire.

Aria Dever is used to being invisible. Brilliant, reserved, and fiercely independent, she hides in the school library to escape high school drama and people like Adrian Cole, the cocky captain of the basketball team. But one accidental text—a private photo meant for her long-distance boyfriend lands in Adrian’s hands, pulling her into his chaotic world. Adrian is everything Aria has learned to avoid: arrogant, charismatic, and impossibly handsome. But beneath the golden-boy façade lies a dangerous secret—he’s a werewolf, bound by pack loyalties and a hidden bloodline. When Adrian fails a critical test, he corners Aria with a deal: tutor him until finals, or risk the photo leaking. Furious and trapped, she agrees. What starts as sarcastic banter and forced proximity soon spirals into something neither of them can ignore. But high school politics, a jealous cheerleader, and a charming new transfer student with his own secrets threaten to tear them apart. As Aria discovers Adrian’s supernatural nature, she realizes she’s immune to his powers—and part of a prophecy that could change everything. When the state basketball championship becomes a battlefield for both victory and revenge, Aria is kidnapped in a scheme orchestrated by her greatest tormentor. Adrian will stop at nothing to save her, even if it means risking everything. In a world where loyalty, love, and pack bonds collide, Aria and Adrian must confront enemies, rivals, and their own hearts. Can a nerdy bookworm and the golden-boy werewolf survive high school, sports rivalries, and supernatural danger—and come out stronger, together?

An alien, a human and a killer: What more could go wrong? Valentina believes that she is tainted and has no clue about the dangers that are coming for her. Ryan is a good boy whose insecurities is dragging him down to believe that he doesn't deserve to be loved. Catherine is spiteful and manipulative. She has one mission on her mind: Kill Ryan Marino. _______________________________ Love is a fantasy that we all dream of. We all want that love that makes our stomach flutter and acts silly, but it is not that easy to get love or to fall in love. When three souls - One pure, One evil, and One tainted- come together, things are bound to get messy. It all starts when Ryan finds a beautiful Necklace which starts to cause him one problem after another, including an alien girl who has no idea how the human world works and a girl who is sent to kill him but instead falls in love with him. Not only that, but there is a killer out there who is killing and eating the people. Yikes! How will Ryan get out of this mess? Will he be able to save the people he loves before they all get slaughtered? Will he be able to find out who is behind everything? And most importantly, whom will he fall for? A wise man once said, "Danger hides in Beauty and Beauty is Danger." It is going to be a gamble for Love, Beauty and Life. The Necklace is a book laced with Horror, Comedy and Romance. It is the first book of Love is A Fantasy Series. *Warning* This story contains Mature Language, Violence and Sexual Content. Not suitable for underage audiences. Read it at your own risk.

On our wedding anniversary, I canceled all my meetings and made a reservation at a restaurant. That evening, my wife, the renowned investigative journalist Amaya Shaw, called me. “Efim, I’m sorry! I just received a tip from a source. It’s urgent. “It involves inside information about a well-known company. I have to go verify it immediately!” But the next day, I saw that Javor Furey, the junior she had brought along, had posted a collage on his social media. The central photo showed Amaya wearing a childish birthday hat. Her head was pressed against Javor’s, as they made a wish together in front of a cake covered in candles. This was the caption. [Thanks, my dear Ms. Shaw! Even in the midst of her busy schedule chasing big stories, she remembered to give me this surprise birthday!] [Chasing big stories.] I stared at those three words. Then, I glanced at the limited-edition bag on our dining table. It was the one she had been raving about for half a year. It was the anniversary gift I had prepared for her. I felt absurd. I commented just two words under that post. [How touching.] Her call came in almost the second I hit send. She sounded furious. “Efim, do you have to be so sarcastic? “It’s just an anniversary. How old are you? Why are you still celebrating such childish anniversaries?” From our first year of marriage to the present, her “tip-offs from informants” and “special circumstances” always took precedence over our promises. This time, she could not even be bothered to come up with a plausible excuse. I did not say anything. I hung up and blocked her number. This marriage was over.

After climbing my way up from nothing to become the richest man in the city, I got used to keeping a low profile. Until one day, I received a call from my granddaughter’s kindergarten. They said she had hit another child in class and told me to come in to settle the matter. But when I arrived, I found my granddaughter covered in injuries. The boy who claimed she had hit him didn’t have a scratch on him. Instead, he spat at me with a smug look on his face. “You old geezer. Your whole outfit isn’t even worth as much as one pair of my sneakers. Take your broke little granddaughter and get out!” I stared at the homeroom teacher in disbelief. She only curled her lip. “Kids say silly things. Besides, what Harvey Harris said isn’t exactly wrong. “His grandfather is the richest man in the city. Our kindergarten is an elite school, after all. Ordinary families like yours should stop coming here just to embarrass yourselves. You’d be better off transferring her somewhere else.” When I heard the boy’s name, I almost laughed. I pulled out my phone and called John Harris, my driver of ten years. “John, stop waiting by the car. Come to the office. “Why? Because the grandson you begged me to help get into this kindergarten just beat up my granddaughter.”

LUNA ADELINE SOLACE has three goals in life: Avoid drama. Stay unnoticed. And never—under any circumstances—fall in love. So when a human boy kneels in front of her and proposes in the middle of a crowded café, Luna does what any sensible girl would do… She runs for her life. Unfortunately, she runs straight into the forbidden forest— and into the arms of ALPHA KAELEN VRYNN, the cold, terrifyingly gorgeous, and annoyingly bossy leader of the most powerful werewolf pack in the realm. The moment their eyes meet, Kaelen freezes. His wolf bows. His first words? “Please marry me.” Luna, confused and very much done with the universe, throws a rock at him. But fate doesn’t care about her resistance. Because Luna isn’t human. Kaelen, her fated mate, refuses to let that happen. What follows is chaos, comedy, and a war written in moon fire— a jealous Alpha trying (and failing) to act normal, a sarcastic heroine who would rather fight monsters than admit she’s falling in love, and a prophecy that whispers a terrifying truth: “Their union will awaken an ancient monster.” As Luna’s forgotten past resurfaces —her murdered parents, her stolen crown, and the night Kaelen found her as a child— the bond between them deepens into something powerful, dangerous… and irreversible. But when Luna must choose between her mate’s life and her kingdom’s survival, destiny demands a price neither of them are ready to pay. In a realm of magic, betrayal, and impossible love, one thing is certain— He will burn the world to protect her.

Melody has been waiting for her 18th birthday for 8 long years, since losing her parents in the rogue wars. She couldn't wait to get her wolf, find her fated mate and not feel alone in the world and her pack anymore. When the day finally comes and a misunderstanding causes her mate to reject her, she flees the pack and builds herself a new life far away, only to be brought face to face with the mate who rejected her at a biannual tournament they are both competing in. Melody can't get over the hurt of rejection and considers a chosen mate to try to help ease her wolfs suffering, and finds herself in a love triangle that she isnt even sure she wants any part of. The pull of the mate bond is hard to resist, and her wolf and her body push her towards her fated mate, but her mind and her need to protect her heart pull her towards the safe and dependable option. Both men use the tournament as a way to try to best eachother and prove their worth, fighting for the highest place on the leaderboard. Love rivalries and unexpected allies only make matters worse for Melody as she has to contend with one of her highschool bullies and a sarcastic, underhanded beta who thrives on the drama her life has become. Meanwhile two Alphas pulling the strings behind the scenes put Melody in an unexpected life threatening situation and she knows the only person she has ever truly been able to rely on is herself. What she doesnt expect is for the moon goddess to intervene and change her fate, but is her new destiny any better than what she ran from in the first place?