Stingy Lazytown

Albert Roosevelt was the crush I was never meant to have. Like an idiot, I believed loving someone meant giving them everything, even if they didn't care about you. So, I trailed after him like a desperate puppy, bending over backward to meet his every whim. When he couldn't afford tuition, I begged Dad to fund him, sending him to the best schools. When his worn-out clothes made him a laughingstock, I pitied him and showered him with designer labels. And what did he do? He used what I gave him to chase after a gold-digging campus belle. To keep up appearances, he blew through money like it grew on trees. He even spread rumors that he was the real heir to the Roosevelts. To him, I was just an ATM. "Your family's loaded. It's not like you'll miss a few hundred grand. If you're gonna be stingy, maybe you should stop following me around," he said when his wallet ran dry. And like a fool, I believed that if I kept paying, someday, he'd love me back. After graduation, I funded his startup. The second it took off, he married the campus belle. He had the nerve to claim he earned everything through nothing but hard work. So, I crashed his wedding, and he buried a knife in my chest. "Only when you're dead, Eve Roosevelt. Only then will my pathetic past stay buried." When I opened my eyes again, I was face-to-face with a scowling Albert. "You can't scrape together a few hundred thousand dollars? It's Bianca's birthday. Are you trying to humiliate me?" I looked around the room and rolled my eyes. "Sure, I'll pay. But first? Kneel. You look pretty enough. Consider it charity, peasant."

When I'm paying the pension for my jobless wife, Lilith Ingram, I accidentally find out that she's had a job this whole time. She's paid a salary of two thousand dollars, which is wired into her personal bank account. Every month, the money will be transferred elsewhere, leaving her without a single cent. I've never seen the money before. Back when our daughter, Maisy Ingram, was severely ill, we were 200 dollars short to pay for her hospital bills. I was so poor that I had to sell my blood and beg everyone around me just to get them to lend me money. But during that time, Lilith never thought of sharing the burden with me. She merely comforted me with empty words before transferring two thousand dollars to her first love, Hayden Grant, the next day. Our marriage of 30 years is reduced to nothing but a laughingstock. I place the divorce agreement that I've printed out in front of Lilith. It's a silent confrontation between us. "Must you really resort to this method?" Lilith snaps impatiently. "It's just two thousand dollars! You have an annual salary of 200 thousand dollars! Why care so much about chum change?" Even Maisy takes her side by calling me a petty, stingy geezer. "Everyone has an unattainable first love when they're still young! You should be grateful that Hayden has been holding back his urges without crossing the line for so many years!" I feel as though I got struck by lightning at that moment. It's then that I belatedly realize I'm the only outsider in this family. "Getting a divorce is fine by me. Hayden's getting on with the years. I just want to take care of him and send him off when his time eventually arrives." Maisy adapts a righteous tone. "As compensation for me, I get the house, the car, and the savings. You're leaving this marriage without a single cent under your name."

At a high school reunion, my wife, Hillary Sheffer, known for her great luck in gambling, ends up losing three million dollars to her first love, Shane Norris. This amount included the two million dollars that we had set aside to buy a new house as well as the life-saving money that I needed for my mom's brain surgery. I'm so furious that all I feel is iciness permeating my pores. Then, I question Hillary angrily, "Did you lose to Shane on purpose? I've never seen you lose before when you gambled during family gatherings!" But Hillary turns her head away from me righteously. "There's no such thing as full confidence in winning every game when it comes to gambling. All I can do is cough up the payment whenever I lose. "Besides, it's difficult enough for Shane to raise his own kid after getting divorced. What's wrong with me lending him a helping hand? "You're a grown-up now, Lucas. Stop being so stingy and petty." As Shane wraps an arm around Hillary's shoulders, he pushes the die toward me. Mockery can be seen plastered all over his face. "Hey, Lucas, you should be a good sport and know how to accept defeat gracefully. You already have Hillary as your wife. Meanwhile, I just want some money from her. Isn't this fair enough? "Then again, I can give you a chance. Let's go for one more round, you and me. If you win, I'll return the money to you." Everyone else begins cheering us on, eager to watch an exciting drama unfold. I don't respond to Shane at all. Instead, I pick up the die. After leaving Harkensalle, I've sworn that I will never touch anything related to gambling ever again. I never thought that I'd end up breaking that vow in less than three years.