Stupid Quotes Funny

She’s texting him her heart. But she’s got the wrong number… When Isabel “El” Watson applied for a sales job with her company, she had no idea a jelly donut would explode on her blouse, or that her grumpy boss would practically laugh her out of the interview. Accountants could be salespeople, she was sure of it, even if that jerkface didn’t think so. So when a lady at the local wine festival offers her a sales job on the spot at a new boutique winery, El jumps at the chance. She also jumps at the chance to text with the guy who danced with her at the festival. Life was finally looking up. Boston’s friend, Chad, never should have given Boston’s number to the girl at the wine festival as a joke, but the damage was done. When El sends Boston a text later that night, believing he is Chad, he’s too nice to hurt her feelings by telling her the truth. But there are a few other truths Boston might have thought about: Truth #1: He’s her boss Truth #2: She just accepted a job at his mother’s new winery Truth #3: He’s always had a crush on her Even though Boston is no longer El’s grumpy boss, they still work together at his mom’s winery. And while sparks are flying as they get to know each other for real, El’s kind of sweet on the guy who always seems to know just what to say via text too. Obviously, things will come to a head. Will Boston come clean about the flirty texts being from him? Or will El figure out on her own that she’s been Texting With the Enemy?

“Listen, Gadreel Ødegaar," she looked at him, not hesitating this time. "It's my anniversary present for you. Let's divorce." *** Ivory Remington had sacrificed five years to look after her husband Gadreel who was in a vegetative state after an accident and a few months ago, he finally awakened like a miracle. She thought it was the start of their happy life but Gadreel still had no heart for her. On their anniversary and her birthday, she received a cheating video of her dear husband and her stepsister. Heartbroken, Ivory chose to quit this stupid game. She decided to set him free but the reason she left on the divorce agreement pierced Gadreel's noble pride. *** "Impotent? Are you serious?" He gripped her wrist and a dangerous glint flashed in his eyes. “I’m a woman, Gadreel. I’m tired of being in a sexless marriage. Let’s end it once and for all.” “Sexless, huh?” he chuckled lowly and without warning grabbed her chin in between his hands, pulling her face closer. "Turns out my wife was so eager to get a man between her legs? "

It all started with a dare: to kiss the first hot man to walk in the club. Hindi masyado itong pinag-iisipan ni Delancy dahil wala namang mawawala kung papayag siya sa dare na ‘yon. And since she’s already drunk, mayroon na siyang lakas ng loob na halikan kung sino man ang gwapong pumasok sa bar. But the thing is, Delancy was too drunk to recognize the person who walked in. Basta na lamang niya itong siniil ng halik. The next morning, Delancy woke up beside someone, naked. And to her surprise, it was her father’s business partner! Ang kanyang ninong matagal na niyang hindi nakikita! The Russian billionaire, Cydine Andreev. Scared, Delancy escaped that morning, praying not to cross paths with him again. Ngunit masyadong naging tuso ang kapalaran sa kanya para muli silang pagtagpuin ng landas sa party mismo ng kanyang ama. But what made it more funny is there was something made after that one night with Mr. Andreev! Is she going to tell him about it? Or will she run away and keep it? “Kaya ko namang makipagsuntukan sa daddy mo. H’wag mo lang akong iwan ulit.”

Gwapo, simpatiko at kilalang magaling na negosyante. Sino nga bang babae ang hindi maghahangad na paibigin ang isang Gabriel Villaflor? Bukod kasi sa kagwapuhan nito, ito rin ang nagmamay ari ng kilalang pagawaan ng ilang fashion trends clothes sa bansa. Mayaman man pero naipagkasundo na itong ipakasal sa anak ng matalik na kaibigan ng pamilya, kay Irish No. Kabaligtaran ng ideal girl n'ya, at kahit pa sa panaginip ay hindi ito ang tipo n'yang babae. May mabubuo kayang pag-ibig sa pagitan nila? Kung maging ang dalaga ay hindi rin s'ya ang pinapangarap nitong makasama?

“By all means, do as you please. Run away as far as you can but keep one thing in mind, I'm going to find you. I'll follow you, Jaselyn. I'll stalk you like you're my prey and I'll catch you.” His warm breath brushes against my neck and I realize just then that he'd somehow bridged the distance between us. “I’ll make you mine over and over again till I become embedded in your DNA. You'll never be free of me.” His hand brushes against the side of my face, caressing almost lovingly while he says such chilling words to me. All of this feels like a farce, one big stupid comedy but a sad smile tugs at my lips when I realize this is my life. “I’ll give you everything and then I'll take it away. You'll always be mine, Jaselyn Everhart. Always.” *** Jaselyn just wants to make it out of the Pack. Living with her abusive uncle after her parents' death, she dreams of saving up enough to finally run away. That's until she meets her mate at the annual Peace ball and is claimed by him, only to be rejected the very next day. But here's the catch, her mate and the Alpha of the Pack, Zane Black, has kidnapped her and he demands that she bear children for his Luna. This book explores dark themes, reader discretion is advised.

Isang simpleng probinsyana lamang si Anna Marie Castillo, namumuhay sa isang simpleng lugar, simpleng probinsiya. Pero kahit ganoon, masaya siya sa buhay na mayroon siya kasama ang kaniyang pamilya. Mahirap lang sila at trabahador lang ng pamilya Bautista ang kanyang ama, samantalang ang kanyang ina naman ay nag-e-extra lamang. Ang tahimik niyang buhay sa probinsiya ay magugulo sa pagdating ng anak ng mga Bautista na si Kevyn, isang mayabang at antipatikong lalaki. Ano kaya ang kahihinatnan nila kung sa unang pagtatagpo pa lang nila ay hindi na naging maganda iyon? Ano kayang gagawin niya kapag nalaman niyang siya ang magbabantay sa binata habang nasa probinsya ito? Babalik pa kaya ang katahimikan niya sa probinsiya o lalo lang iyong gugulo?

Out of humanity she saved his life but what did he do to her; instead of thanking her he took her in as his prisoner. But, she had no problem with it. She was more than just happy as long as she could adore this stone faced Adonis from a close radius. Wearing a pink hoodie and holding a candy she would run around, pestering that iceberg like man. "Mr. Nguyen, can you buy me a teddy?" "Mr. Nguyen, can you change the curtains to pink?" "Mr. Nguyen, can I take your heart?" Little girl, are you aware? The man you are fooling around with is the ruthless leader of the Mafia gang which rules over the shady underground community. Seems like she had no effect of this dark identity of this man. Okay, this was bearable! What made them have a jaw drop was when their heartless boss, who hardly let any woman near him, was especially doting and caring towards this little prisoner. It was after she came they realized that their boss too had a heart which was capable of loving a girl. But... Why this little fool who didn't even have an identity. Did she really move his heart or... resembled someone hiding in his heart. A funny and warm story of a dominant mafia boss and... a girl he picked up from street.

She built him from the ground up so can’t she destroy him? Persephone died at the hands of her mate, a man she sacrificed everything for but in the end, he chose his true mate over her. She is granted a chance to redo everything, waking up two years before her death and this time, all she wants is revenge. She doesn’t mind dying a second time as long as she takes her enemies down with her. To repay the people responsible for her and her father’s deaths, Persephone is ready to live as a wicked woman. To guarantee her father’s future, a victim of her stupid choices in her past timeline, Persephone joins hands with the arrogant Alpha Koa, the prince of wolves. Koa, the first prince hated by both his family and all wolves, lost everything to gain the throne in Persephone’s last life. Now, she uses her knowledge of the future to help him ascend the throne with ease and in turn, he becomes her shield. As Persephone and Koa work together to achieve their goals, an unlikely love story blossoms between the two. However, Persephone’s ex is desperate to shackle her to his side and Koa’s family will not stand to see him succeed. With powerful forces standing against their love, will it have any chance to bloom?

Usually girls loves to shop and paint their nails. But not for Valerie Hernandez. Unlike every other girls, she loves dealing with cars. She could even spend hours in the garage. This year will be Valerie last year in high school. The thought of her graduating with her boyfriend and best friend bring a smile to her face. Unexpectedly, a new student is transferring to her school. Once she laid eyes on him, she know her senior year won't go as smoothly as she thinks. What happen when Valerie and the the new student became friend? Will she feel annoyed or the exact opposite? Knowing Valerie has a boyfriend, can she choose between the two of them?

Sa gitna ng masalimuot na buhay sa Maynila, si Heart Cruz, isang dedicated nurse, ay nagkakaroon ng muling pagkikita kasama ang kanyang mga kaibigan mula pagkabata, sina Althea, Angie, at Janith. Isang araw, habang abala sa kanyang duty sa isang pribadong hospital, nakatagpo siya ng hindi inaasahang insidente kay Brandon Flores, isang mayamang businessman at may-ari ng hotel at beach resort at isang Multi-Billionare. Ang isang simpleng banggaan ay nagresulta sa isang hindi kanais-nais na pagkakahawakan na nagpasiklab ng galit ni Heart. Habang ang kanyang kaibigan na si Janith ay nalalapit na sa panganganak, nagiging masalimuot ang sitwasyon nang magtagpo muli ang kanilang mga landas. Sa gitna ng emosyon at tensyon, kailangang harapin ni Heart ang kanyang galit at ang mga hindi inaasahang damdamin kay Brandon, na tila may mas malalim na ugat sa kanyang galit at ang kanyang asal na para dito. Ano kaya mangyari sa dalawa habang tinatahak ang hamon ng kanilang nakaraan at kasalukuyan? May pag-ibig ba kayang mabubuo sa kanilang alitan. Ano kayang kwentong sa pagkakaibigan? May pag-ibig pa kayang bumuo sa kanilang wasak na puso? At pagtuklas sa tunay na pagkatao sa kabila ng mga pagsubok at hamon sa buhay? "PAHIRAM NG ISANG GABI (BOOK #1)