Teks Stand Up Comedy Lucu Bikin Ngakak

I've been dating the country's most eligible bachelor for two years. My base salary is $2 million, with bonuses based on performance. Holding hands costs $10,000, putting an arm around his waist is $20,000, and a kiss on the lips is a bit pricier at $50,000. As for certain bedroom activities, well, those come with a whole different price tag. Brad is fair-skinned and handsome, appearing only once a month – he's practically a walking Tiffany's diamond. Life is so sweet, it's easy to get complacent if you're not careful. One night, a DM popped up on Instagram from a stranger. "If you trust me, check your boyfriend's phone." "?" "I'm his girlfriend." "Am I the third party or are you the third party?" "You're third, I'm fourth." "Let's meet and talk details."

“No! Cassian, wait…” Angela moans, panting hard after an earth-shattering org*sm. “This is... this is very wrong.” She lets out, battling her overwhelming desires, and rationality as her palm pushes against the taut chest of the man above her. "It's forbidden." she gasps. “Tell me you don't crave this as much as I do, and I promise I won't disturb you ever again.” Cassian mutters hoarsely, lust and desire burning in his eyes, as he looks down at Angela's flushed face, her eyes mirroring his, and her body quivering with need beneath him. “Take me,” she purrs, and he doesn't waste time claiming her… ~~~~▪•♤~~~•♧•~~~♤▪•~~~~ Angela thought she was crazy for having a crush on her brother. He was off limits, a forbidden fruit she should only fantasize about. What she didn't expect was the moon goddess pairing them as mates on her 21st birthday. The goddess must be crazy, she thought, for allowing such an abomination. She was forced to reject her brother or be sent abroad, a decision her parents claimed was the right one. However, it seems she wasn't the only crazy one; Cassian, her brother, wanted her for himself, and he was willing to go against everyone to keep her. Their parents and elders of the pack also weren't willing to back down; they were prepared to go to great lengths to prevent their bond from taking root. Will these two be able to overcome all obstacles and stay together?

Tinaguriang most eligble bachelor in town, owned a multi billionaire company pero iyon nga lang wala sa vocabulary ni Archer ang salitang "Relasyon o Marriage" para sa kaniya laro-laru lang ang lahat. Hindi niya na raw kailangan ng babaeng makakasama niya pera lang ang mahalaga sa kaniya. Kung usapang tawag ng laman madali lang sa kaniya iyan dahil may pera siya. Nagbabayad siya ng mga babaeng pera lang ang habol at basta na lang binibenta ang laman para lang sa pera. Pero nagbago ang lahat ng iyon sa isang gabi ng pagtatalik nila ng isang babaeng bayaran, sa lahat ng babaeng naikama niya iyong babaeng iyon lamang na may butterfly tattoo sa likod ang kakaiba para sa kaniya. Hindi niya maipaliwanag ang pakiramdam ng gabing iyon. Kakaibang sarap ang pinaramdam sa kaniya na hindi niya kailanman natikman sa mga naunang naikama niya. Ngunit nagising siya nang wala na ito sa tabi niya at nag-iwan na lamang ng isang sulat bilang pasasalamat sa isang gabi na puno ng ligaya. Binalikan ni Archer kung saang bar niya nakuha ang babae ngunit bigo siyang makita pa ulit ito at hanggang sa kasalukuyan ay pinapahanap niya pa rin ito. Hanggang sa nag-krus ang landas nila ni Choleen, ang pamangkin ng isa sa mga katulong nila. Pinasok ito bilang katulong sa isa sa mga resort nila, Doon na nagsimula ang kwento nila, noong una ay akala niya nangbu-bwesit lang ito dahil sa mga sunod-sunod na kapalpakang ginagawa sa trabaho. Doon niya lang nalaman na wala pala talaga itong alam sa kahit anong trabaho at gawaing bahay. Sa tinatagal-tagal nakayanang pagtiisan ni Archer ang pagiging inosente ni Choleen. Ngunit isang madilim na sekreto pala ang nakabalot sa pagkatao nito, malalaman kaya ni Archer na ang babaeng matagal na niyang hinahanap ay nasa harapan niya na mismo.

Palaging nagkakaro’n ng weird na panaginip si Thea Amarrile, dahil halos araw-araw n’yang napapaginipan na nakikipag sex s’ya sa lalaking hindi n’ya naman kilala, ngunit ang pinagtataka n’ya ay kapag nagigising s’ya ay naaalala n’ya parin bawat detalye ng panaginip n’ya. Hanggang isang araw, bigla na lang sumulpot ‘yong lalaking palagi n’yang napapaginipan sa pinag tatrabahohan n’ya and later on, nalaman n’ya na lang na ‘yong lalaking palagi n’yang napapaginipan ay s’yang magiging panandaliang boss n’ya.

Parang sinukluban ng langit si Rica ng malaman ang kondisyun niya sa doctor. Lalo pa siyang nalugmok sa kalungkutan ng sabihin nitong bilang na ang panahon niya. Halos hindi na naging normal ang Buhay niya magmula noon.Isang alok ng kaibigan ang sasagip sa kanyang lugmok na kapalaran pero hindi akalain ni Rica na iyon ang magdudulot ng samot saring paghihirap sa kanyang buhay

Just before her husband and son have her locked in a psychiatric ward, Nora Yates wakes up—reborn, wide awake, and done playing nice. Two men who never truly loved her? Who used and discarded her? Fine. She’s cutting them out for good. When she signs the divorce papers and walks away, the world cheers—including the internet. Oddly, the only one upset is her adoptive sister, the mistress. “Come on, Nora,” she pouts. “I only borrowed your husband and son for my birthday. Was that really worth all this drama?” “You’re lucky to have a husband and son like that. You should count your blessings.” Nora lets out a sharp laugh. “Then consider this ‘blessing’ my personal gift to you. After all, trash belongs in the dumpster.” She walks off without a second glance—glowing, untouchable, and ready to run the world. Soon, her business is booming. Suitors line up. The woman they tried to destroy becomes the woman everyone wants to be. Years later, now a titan in her field, she sits down for a high-profile interview. “Ms. Yates,” the reporter asks, “it’s rumored that Mr. Luther, CEO of Luther Corp, is your ex-husband. Do you still keep in touch?” Nora smiles politely. “Sorry. I’m a widow with no children.” Then she turns to the camera, smiles straight through the lens—at the ex-husband and son losing their minds behind the scenes—and adds, “Just remarried. Baby girl on the way.”

Ang goal niya ay ma-divoreced agad sa asawa at mabigyan ng magandang buhay ang mga anak. Paano kung malaman niya na ang estrangherong lalaking naka one-night-stand niya ay ang kaniyang asawa? At kasama ng asawa ang isa pa pala niyang anak na siyang kinuha sa kaniya matapos niyang manganak at pinag muka siyang masama sa pag aabanduna dito. Halina't tuklasin ang kwento ni Lily at Zackary na siyang patuloy na pinaglalaruan ng tadhana.

Nalaman ni Ximena na sinadya ng kanyang nobyo na si Julius na ipambayad utang ang kanyang puri kasabwat ang babae na pinakilala sa kanya ng kasintahan na matalik nitong kaibigan. Yun pala ay matagal ng may relasyon ang mga ito. Kasunod non ay natanggap siya sa trabaho. Ngunit ganon na lang ang gulat ni Ximena na imbis na sa Marketing Department ay nalipat siya bilang Personal Assistant ng CEO!

Gino Montereal is a serious man and he is allergic to a girl or in commitment when he was in college. Ngunit nagbago ang lahat ng ito nangg may nangyari sa kanila ng babaeng pinakakinaiinisan niya. And it’s Carla Sandoval, the girl who chased Gino throughout her college life. She never stops until she has not given her gift to Gino and that’s her virginity. Kaiinisan or kamumuhian pa rin kaya ni Gino si Carla kapag nalaman niyang nagkaroon ng magandang bunga ang nangyari sa kanila noon? Sasabihin ba ni Carla ang tungkol sa kanilang anak kapag nagtagpong muli ang landans nila ni Gino? In trying to know the truth, will Gino chase Carla?

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!