Romans & histoires Tonight I End A Four Year Illusion

The set glows in the distance — all bright lights and fragile illusions waiting to be torn apart for someone else’s entertainment. I square my shoulders. I walk out the door. Tomorrow, the cameras roll. Tonight, I pretend I’m ready.

I believed he loved me, that his heart was full of me and only me. But when did it all start to fall apart? Was it after Ashley's divorce? Or perhaps it began when I left my job? I was unable to tell. Confusion and racing thoughts raced through my head until, at last, fatigue drew me under. In my dreams, I saw Nicholas standing there and waving in the distance. I turned and started to approach him, but before I could get close enough to reach out, he turned and left. I continued to stray aimlessly while making a valiant effort to cling to the bliss that was eluding me.

Tears filled Julia's eyes as she apologized desperately, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Lawrence! Please forgive me!" Lawrence shook his head. "You never really loved me, did you? Let's just end it here." He went upstairs, grabbed his suitcase, and left without hesitation. As he opened the door, Julia stumbled after him. She grabbed his hand and begged him not to go. "Please don't leave, Lawrence! I'll give you whatever you want. Just stay!" Lawrence paused and turned to face the woman he had loved for seven years. But his heart no longer stirred. It was as if the very idea of her had become absurd.

Pressed her forehead against the cool mirror. Three hundred and forty-four days left. She was so screwed. And the worst part? Deep down, where she refused to look, she was starting to wish this wasn't pretend

And for the first time in my life, I realized that I was… Whole. “Our mates are here,” a feminine voice, both young and ageless all at once, whispered in my mind. It reverberated through my skull like a bell, and yet it soothed me unlike anything before. “There are four total, but three are here tonight…” Before I could react, three familiar voices rang out all at once. “Mate!”

He rambled on while watching my expression carefully, but I took a step back in disgust, putting space between us. "Francesco, did you see those papers?" I interrupted. "We're strangers now." The color drained from his face. He trembled, his body swaying as if he might fall. "Strangers?" he rasped with bloodshot eyes. "No, Mia. This isn't funny. How could we be strangers? We've been together for eight years. How can I forget our past like that? "I know you're mad because I broke my promise, but I swear I'll never do it again. Punish me however you want once we go home. I just want you to forgive me!"

And for tonight, I let myself forget that in six weeks this all ends. That I have to choose. That two of them will leave. That this moment of peace is temporary. For tonight, they're all mine. And I'm all theirs. And that's enough.

The expiration date. "Damien." "I know. We need to talk about it. About what happens when the contract ends. But not tonight." His forehead pressed against mine. "Tonight, just let me have this. Have you. Without thinking about endings." "Okay," I whispered. "No endings tonight." He made love to me right there in his study, with the city lights painting shadows across his floor and the world locked outside. And for a few hours, we pretended forever was possible. *** THURSDAY NIGHT

He walks back on the court thirty seconds later, jersey crooked, eyes wild, drops eighteen points in the fourth quarter like a man possessed. No one ever knows why. Four nights down. Four to go. And tomorrow night, the glass elevator is going to learn what 110 floors of free-fall desire feels like.

I agreed, letting myself sink back into his embrace, letting myself enjoy the warmth and safety of his arms for just a little longer. Just five more minutes of pretending this could be more than temporary. Just five more minutes before reality had to intrude. Five more minutes of perfect. Because after these four days were over, mornings like this would just be a memory. And I wasn't ready to think about that yet.