Tulisan Feel

For ten years, Isaac was my fated mate. My Alpha. My future. Then, on the eve of his Alpha Ceremony, he chose another she-wolf to be his Luna, Chloe. His reason? She was wild and free...everything I used to be. "We are FATED MATES!" I screamed, my hand flying to the mark on my neck. "How can you defy the Moon Goddess? How can you just throw me away?" My wolf howled through our bond, trying to make him feel my pain. The backlash should have crippled him. But he didn't even flinch. It wasn't a real mark. Just a lie, painted on with magic. A trick to chain me to his side. My legs gave out. I hit the floor, a raw sob tearing from my throat. When the tears dried, the grief turned to ice. I stormed the Elders' Council and demanded they sever the bond. Then, I did the unthinkable. I chose his cursed uncle, Vincent. Isaac laughed. He thought it was a pathetic game to make him jealous. He had no idea. The Elders had already named his uncle the new Alpha. He didn't understand his mistake until he saw me crowned Luna on Vincent's arm. Only then did he come crawling back, begging for a forgiveness I would never give.

Lesley Hummer, my husband's sister, lies to me about being unable to conceive. She wants me to help her produce a child. To my shock and horror, my husband and mother-in-law agree with her! I refuse to give in, so they drug me and force me into bed with my her husband. When the pregnancy comes to term, I give birth to a daughter. My husband and his family go nuts because it's not a boy. They kill the baby before my very eyes! They even take away all my organs that can be exchanged for money. Then, they continue searching for a surrogate for Lesley. When I open my eyes again, I'm back to the day Lesley kneeled before me to beg me.

During lunch, an older female colleague asked me, "How old are you? Do you have a boyfriend? When are you planning to get married?" I shook my head. "Twenty-seven, no boyfriend, and no plans to get married." She was momentarily stunned. "What are you talking about? How can a woman not get married?" she asked. I smiled without responding. Realizing I wasn't joking, her expression darkened. "Did you work as a escort and get caught? Is that why no man wants you?"

I'm back to that night I was drugged with an aphrodisiac. My sister, Rosa Spencer, drags the most aggressive guy in the village, Theo Dawson, into the woods without hesitation. In my previous life, both Rosa and I had been drugged at the same time. She jumped at the chance to be with the promising young intellectual, Dexter Newman, and I was stuck with Theo. After what happened, Dexter took responsibility without a second thought. He threw a huge wedding in the village and married Rosa. Meanwhile, I ended up marrying Theo in a rush, with nothing but a tattered quilt. Seeing this, Rosa burst into laughter. "You were born unlucky, and you'll never beat me! My husband's going to college. His future's limitless!" Yet, to my surprise, Theo changed completely after we married. He spoiled me endlessly and even became the richest man in the state. Dexter, on the other hand, failed his college entrance exam due to cheating and could only make a living by doing odd jobs. After seeing me become the wife of the richest man in the state, Rosa suddenly ran to my house in tears. "My husband's a total loser. Years have gone by, and we can't even afford a decent apartment!" Out of sisterly sympathy, I landed her a well-paying job. But when she came to thank me, she smashed a whiskey bottle over my head. "We're sisters! How come you get to live better than me?" When I opened my eyes again, I was back to that very night Rosa and I were both drugged with an aphrodisiac.

My boyfriend refuses to accompany me to the airport to pick my mother up, but he later rams into my car from behind in my new Maybach. He looks at my secondhand car and wraps an arm around the young woman beside him, who looks frightened. He says, "It's just a rusty old Volkswagen Beetle! So what if I've crashed into it? I can afford to pay for the damages!" The crowd praises him for being handsome and rich. With his back to them, he warns, "This is the woman my mom wants me to date. I'm just playing along for her sake. Don't make things embarrassing for me." I nod understandingly and tell the young woman, "Since you like collecting trash so much, you can have both him and the car. I'll have my lawyer send you the bill." Now, my boyfriend panics. He looks devastated as he hangs around outside my company all day, begging me to give him another chance.

I hid behind a thick tree trunk and watched silently as a grizzly bear attacked my husband. In my previous life, I was a guide. I led my husband—an environmental photographer—and his female colleague into a nature reserve to film wildlife. While scouting the route, I discovered a nursing grizzly bear and immediately warned them not to take any photos and to retreat slowly. To my shock, they intentionally bumped into me, causing my right leg to be cut and bleed. The scent of blood enraged the bear, and it charged straight at me, sinking its massive jaws into my abdomen. After the bear left, my husband calmly stripped me of all my equipment. Then, wrapping his arms around his female colleague, he kissed her. He turned to me with a sinister smile creeping across his face. "Kate," he said, "I'll be honest. I never loved you. You're dying. Now, all your assets will be mine." I bled out and died. When I opened my eyes again, it was the morning of the day we entered the mountains.

At the airport, I ran straight into Zach Martin, the man who had left me at the altar two years ago to accompany his foster sister to Apania to watch elephants. I had on sunglasses, yet he recognized me instantly in the crowd. “Tina, I’m back to marry you.” I paused for a moment. There was a flicker of doubt in my eyes. “You’re…” He gave me a helpless smile. “Hey, come on. Don’t be mad. I didn’t mean to disappear like that. After taking Yvette to see the elephants, she wanted to stick around and document everything. She’s my only sister. I had to spoil her a little. “After two years of working on the project and finishing the shoot, I rushed straight back to fulfill our engagement!” Only then did it dawn on me that this dark, scrawny man, flashing a mouthful of white teeth, was actually my former fiancé! Wait. Did nobody tell him that on the very day he ran away, I married his uncle instead?

My boss gives me 200 thousand dollars in cash so I can pay his workers their salaries. I leave the house to buy some envelopes to put the money in, but that's when my father lends the money to our neighbor so they can buy a house. I question him about it, but he says I know nothing about forging relationships. Even my mother and brother blame me for not keeping my things properly—they say I'm dumb for leaving money lying around when I know my father likes to lend money to others. Later, my boss fires me but doesn't call the cops. All he wants is for me to repay him. To do so, my father finds me a high-paying job. It's only when I get there that I realize I'm supposed to be an old man's housekeeper. On my first day there, he violates me. I want to call the cops, but my father tells me to be forgiving of him. After that, the old man's daughter thinks I seduced her father and has me beaten to death. When I open my eyes again, I'm back to the day my father lent money to our neighbor.

My younger sister was crazy about novels and always envied the way ordinary heroines pick up penniless heroes and climb the social ladder. So, she started picking up men wherever she could. Until one day, a man with a face covered in sores collapsed at our doorstep. I instantly recognized the signs of syphilis and warned my sister repeatedly, and only then did she give up the idea. However, fate had other plans: my sister's best friend "picked him up" instead and married into a wealthy family. My sister held a grudge. On my birthday, she locked me in my room and set it on fire. No matter how desperately I begged, she refused to open the door. Outside, she sneered: "I know you're just scared I'll live better than you, so you want to drag me down into misery with you. People like you don't even deserve to be a sister!" I burned alive, my body reduced to nothing but ashes. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the very day my sister insisted on "picking up that man." This time, I quietly stepped back, letting her have her way—of course, I chose to let her succeed.

On the tenth day of my postpartum recovery, my husband, Deputy Commander Harvey Wyatt, uploads a photo of me breastfeeding my newborn in a disheveled state to the department's group chat. Obviously, that photo was taken without my knowledge. "See? After having a kid, she's as loose as a sack. It makes me sick just looking at her. I much prefer my side piece, who's nice and tight." A few female colleagues send sweating emojis to the group. The majority of the chat, however, consists of the male colleagues' perverse silence. While I continue to burp my baby with one hand, my tears land on the screen. In order to give birth to this baby, my pelvic bone was sawn in half, which causes me so much pain that I can't even walk properly. But all I get in return is my own husband body-shaming me in front of hundreds of people. I don't bother arguing with Harvey at all. Half an hour later, I drag my broken body all the way to the commander's office with a divorce agreement as well as the chat history over the past ten days, which has been printed out, in my hands.