Vampires Funny Novels & Stories

I am one of the most ancient and powerful vampires in existence, with wealth accumulated over centuries. When everyone learned I had fallen for a dying human named Damien and turned him into my Childe, they were shocked. Five years ago, I transformed him from a penniless artist into an immortal vampire. I also turned his dying family into vampires, granting them eternal life. Every month, I took $450,000 from my accounts just to support their lavish lifestyle. Damien’s sister pleaded that they had never attended any vampire events and wanted to see what it was like. So I spent $4 million to buy them seats at a grand vampire gathering that only happens once every fifty years, where participants have the chance to gain greater power and become higher-ranking vampires. But before the gathering even began, Damien demanded that I give my seat to his childhood sweetheart Victoria. The whole family supported Damien's decision without a thought for me. So I changed my plans. I severed their immortality, reclaimed my estate, and removed them from my bloodline. That's when the family started to panic...

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

When her parents were killed and she was turned into a vampire, Ellis Nakai's life changed forever. Now she's stuck repeating High School, and she thought nothing would change again. Until she meets Skye, a werewolf and Young Alpha of the Wind Valley pack - and her mate. There's just one snag - werewolves and vampires are mortal enemies. | Book 1 of the SRWW Trilogy |

The shadow’s have secrets. They see everything, and for a special few individuals they actually can hear the shadows whisper. But for a teenager named Cassia and here 5 year old sister Lillyanna the shadows hold secrets to their lost past and what happened to their village and the Kingdom of Archon. Follow the 2 on their journey through the wilds with a talented rag tag group of misfits. All the while being chased by Vampires, Werewolves, and Farrell Humans.

In this no-limits erotica collection, mortals and monsters collide in the most depraved ways imaginable. Werewolves, vampires, and even witches unleash their savage hungers through brutal gangbangs, savage blood play, degrading piss rituals, and raw MM domination. Every taboo is shattered—consensual or not—as willing victims are broken, used, and ruined in the filthiest, most morally rotten encounters. For those who crave their smut dark, nasty, and rotten and completely merciless.

Thirty years after the apocalypse, the world belongs to darkness. When a failed climate weapon shattered Earth’s atmosphere, sunlight became lethal. Entire cities burned beneath toxic ultraviolet storms while humanity fled underground into fortress-cities powered by artificial UV towers. Above the surface, civilization rotted beneath snow, ash, and endless night. And the vampires emerged. Seraphine Ward (Sera) grew up hating them. A hunter from the human city of Zelios, Sera is sharp-tongued, reckless, and fueled almost entirely by anger after vampires destroyed her childhood settlement years ago. He isentirely too amused by the hunter who immediately tries to stab him through the throat. Unfortunately, it barely slows him down. Their first meeting should have ended in bloodshed. Instead, it begins an uneasy alliance neither of them wants. When Zelios’ UV towers begin failing, Sera is forced to travel through the deadly wastelands beyond civilization in search of an abandoned underground laboratory rumored to contain pre-apocalypse atmospheric research capable of restoring sunlight. Husen claims he knows where it is. And Husen, a monster feared even among immortals, becomes increasingly unstable around Sera. Because her blood is different. Not sweeter. Not rare. Before the apocalypse, Zelios scientists secretly experimented on unborn children using altered vampire blood in desperate attempts to engineer immunity against blood sickness and ultraviolet radiation. Sera was one of the few surviving subjects. Her blood isn’t natural. She was created. And Zelios knew. Once Zelios discovers what her blood can do, its leaders betray her immediately, planning to drain and replicate her blood to create biological weapons and controlled vampire armies. Husen responds exactly as expected. Violently. As war erupts between humans and vampires, Sera and Husen journey through ruined cities while their hatred slowly turns into obsession, intimacy, and dangerous love.

"kill them.." "kill them all... Bring out everyone's heart... Burn everything so that no one can escape from here.." "Please have mercy on us we are willing to serve you as your slaves. "Slaves Hahahaha.. 'God' did you see I am having fun you have taken away my mother I will take away your children. "Worship me, humans." [ VAMPIRES AND LUST ARE A COMMON COMBINATION SO some chapters may have explicit scenes but if in case anyone has any problem please skip this novel ] when a vampire is more obsessed with a girl than his thirst for blood In the year 1950 a terrible massacre was going on in a village A pureblood vampire was standing there enjoying this massacre Not too far away he saw a woman was fighting with many vampires all alone like a 'one-man army..' Anyone who sees her once can tell that she must be a witch but the pureblood thinks she is not a witch. ************** She tasted sweet like oranges liquid sunshine in my mouth as we kissed our tongues playing together ''Darling why your lips were swollen Did anything bite your lips," smirking Majesty held her close.

In this thrilling fabrication, watch how a young woman gets an unexpected bloody surprise on her wedding day! Joana, a young lady plans to get married immediately after high school to the love of her life, Andrew on her 18th birthday. She is unaware that she descends from a historical line of vampires, and she has lived her whole life as a human, with no knowledge of the supernatural. Due to an agreement made by one of her ancestors, Marilyn Lou, to the supreme council centuries ago, she is fated to become a vampire on her 18th birthday, the day she plans on getting married. She wants to return to her life as a human, and together with Derick, a vampire in Lou's coven who was in love with her ancestor, they begin the search for the council to make a new agreement. Will Joana be able to adapt to the new life she is about to encounter? Will her feelings for Derick get in the way of her plans? This is a story of love, mystery, drama, and more importantly, Vampires! Find out how Joana handles her fate in "Wedding day Vampire" This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Ben Pine thought he was just a normal country guy going to the city for college... until he decides to stay with his uber-rich gaming friend, Nico Woodman... and drink coffee for the first time. Now he has to figure out what it means to live as a model werewolf and maintain his relationship with his friend, but the vampires that originally had his kind as slaves aren't going to make it easy for him. Cover by Modern_Diary.