Killing Me to Save Mother Earth
My roommate, Katie Lloyd, is a hardcore environmentalist. Even in a hundred-degree heatwave, she locks the AC remote in her drawer.
"We're going to sweat in the summer anyway. Just suck it up and consider it your contribution to saving the planet."
That night, there isn't a breath of wind outside, and our dorm feels exactly like an oven.
My head pounds from the stifling heat as sweat pours down my face.
When I try to steal the key, Katie stands on a chair and snips the AC power cord. "Can't you see Mother Nature is running a fever? You're really selfish for making more greenhouse gases."
In my last life, this is the exact night the entire school starts hunting me down with insults. Everyone calls me spoiled, claims I have no empathy for nature, and praises Katie for having a sense of mission. In the end, I suffer cardiogenic shock from the heat, without even getting a chance to call an ambulance.
Katie weeps on camera, claiming my health failed simply because I eat too much processed junk food.
When I open my eyes again, I'm back on the very first day of the semester.
Katie's dropping the AC remote into her drawer, asking me with tearful eyes, "A little heat won't kill you, right, Jane?"
I grab my phone and medical records and head straight for the resident advisor's office. "I'd like to request a single room, please."
Anyone else can play the martyr if they want. I'm just looking out for my own life.