Novel & Cerita When Your Life Is Falling Apart

It's not that I'm not used to hate, but because everyone believes anything they see on the internet, even if it's not the truth of the whole story. I sat down on the cold floor lifelessly. Staring at my screen. Is this the start of my downfall? Twelve years of my hard work… and this is what I get in return?

"As long as you get that it's only for you. Just now, when you thought I was going to throw up? That was because it all just hit me." "It?" "My life. Up until you. You've made me realize what I was missing. Before you, I was going through the motions day to day but not really living. I know this is new and we still have a lot to learn about each other, but for the first time in a long time, I want to try." "You do?" "Yes. You feeling anything like that?" "I am."

“People are such assholes. Like it’s a disease or something. You didn’t apply to be a mountain climber, you applied to shuffle papers. What the hell does your belly have to do with that?” I laughed, a bitter little sound. “Apparently everything.” She shoved the chip bag at me. “Eat. Misery tastes better with salt.” I laughed and took some to chew on as she stared at me. “You’ll find another one.” I shook my head. “I feel like I keep losing. Like every time I think I’m standing, something knocks me down again.” She nudged my shoulder. “Then you get up again. That’s all life is. Falling, getting up, swearing a little, and trying again.”

The syrup. Why couldn’t I just keep it together for one goddamn second? Why did something so small, so stupid, make me fall apart? It’s been a year since I walked out on Mike, a whole year of rebuilding, rewiring, forcing myself to be okay. I thought I was handling it. I thought I was better. I was so, so wrong. My body and mind betrayed me in the worst possible way. I didn’t just fold; I shattered. A grown-ass woman crumpling like a paper bag because a bottle tipped over.

“Look, we have to take things slowly.” “I am sick, and tired of taking things slowly!” I yelled, righting myself from the couch in anger. “I have been doing that all my life, but where has it gotten me so far? No where.” “I can understand how you feel.” he got up from the couch. “No, you don't!” I yelled. “You have no idea how I feel. My whole life is falling apart, and this seems to be the only way to put it back together. You asked if I went to the hospital recently, right?”

God bless them! Everything is so messed up in my life. What I have wanted! A simple life with a happy family? Is that too much to expect? I never wanted money or fame but a little move and acceptance from people that used to be my family. I don't understand what is happening in my life anymore. I... I am so exhausted. I am so terrified. I am lost. My knees felt so weak as I couldn't help but lose my balance and fell to the ground. Didn't relapse if I got hurt or not as tears of shame and sorrow flowed through my eyes.

And everything I was holding together Fell apart.

I whispered to myself, "you have to be strong." But how could I be strong when everything has fallen apart?

"Who's calling you right when the movie gets to the exciting part? How annoying." After hearing Lucy's voice, Angela laughed. "You're watching a movie with Lucy, huh? Didn't you say she's been feeling so depressed that she's on the verge of taking her own life?" Riled up, Carl retorted, "I brought Lucy out to cheer her up! How is she supposed to move on from Keith's death if she stays at home all day long?" What a seemingly justifiable explanation that was, but it was just as absurd as his intention of having a child with Lucy.

My future. How did I end up letting someone else affect my life so much? How? I was still taking all of these in when a knock suddenly sounded on my door. “Wh-ho is it?” I called out, managing to gather myself as I waited for a response. “I really want to be alone right now. Whatever it is, please come back later.” I couldn’t. I just couldn’t with anyone right now. My entire life was literally falling apart, I needed no additional stress than what I had already gotten today. No more.