Project Heartbreak
“Go away! I’m not even tasty! I have no meat! I’m all skin and bones and crippling social anxiety! AHHHH!”
My mind, in its panic, reached for the divine. Or, more accurately, every divine being I could vaguely recall.
“Hail Mary, full of grace. Oh God, it’s so fast! Our Father, who art in heaven please let there be a tree! Hare Krishna, Hare Rama! Buddha, lend me your speed! Oh, mighty Zeus, smite this beast! Thor, I need your hammer! Someone! Anyone!”
And then I saw him. A figure up ahead, leaning against a lamppost, shrouded in a grey hoodie with the hood pulled up. I didn’t care if it was a vigilante, a serial killer, or an off-duty elf. He was a potential savior.