I always think why I was born in this country. Sometimes, I wish I live somewhere peaceful, somewhere that law is fair, unlike here in Felghana.
I know that people should be nationalistic, and that they should love their own country, but how can you love your own country if it doesn't love you?
"Argh, stressful," I said out of nowhere while lying down in my bed. I just woke up but I feel so exhausted like I already did tons of work.
While lying in my bed, what happened yesterday comes back in my mind. I remember how Kate holds my hand, and how soft her voice even if it is over the line. I remember how her eyes look at me with so much... affection?
I shook my head. That's not a right thing to think. Maybe I was just over-acting yesterday. Besides, that's the first time that Kate holds my hand. Maybe that's the reason why I acted that way.
I stand up to make my breakfast, but I sit immediately when my vision suddenly turns black. I placed my hands on my head and close my eyes. It felt like the surrounding is turning around. I suddenly feel dizzy.
"I shouldn't stand up that fast," I told myself.
I regret that I did that thing. Now, my whole body feels like everything is turning around so fast. It will take a long time before I recover.
Instead of making my breakfast, I sit down for a couple of minutes. When I already feel like I'm fine, I open my eyes and blink several times. Unlike earlier, things are not moving.
"Whoo. Thanks God."
Since I already finished typing my student's scores, I don't have anything to do anymore. I'm thankful that Madam Principal didn't assign me to make the questions for the 1st Quarter Exams. If that happened, I don't have free time today.
Because I won't be doing anything important for today, I decided to go to Mrs. Cambri's house. I want to check if she's okay.
I know that I can't do anything about her son's condition, but there's the spirit inside of me that is wanting to save that child. I'm sure that Mrs. Cambri also wants her son to be saved, but what can we do? The Minister is too inconsiderate and stupid for arresting a child without any proof, but full reports from someone anonymous only.
I get my bag and put my essential things inside like my phone and wallet. I didn't bring more things for I don't want to bring heavy things with me.
I am locking the door of my apartment when I received a call from Dhaile. I locked the door first before answering her call. I put my earphones and put my phone inside my bag to hide it from thieves.
"Hello? Dhaile?" I asked while walking. I hold the mouthpiecr near my mouth so that she can hear me.
"Hey, Casy. Where are you?" she asked.
"Outside my house. Walking. Why?"
Dhaile didn't answer immediately. I can hear loud noise from her line. It sounds like there's a party ongoing in her place. I can also hear loud musics and different voices from several people. I hear someone said 'Let us cheers for the new member of the family'.
"Dhaile? Are you still there?" I asked when the loud noise disappeared.
"I'm still here. By the way, where are you again? I didn't hear your answer," she replied.
"I am walking. I'm going somewhere. Why?"
"Please take me with you. The whole family is here in the house and they're having a party since my Aunt Melva is pregnant. Please take me with you. I don't care where you are going. Just please, take me out of here," she pleaded like a child.
"Why would I? You should be there in your house and celebrating together with your family. I remember you told me that you are wishing that your Aunt Melva will get pregnant, now it happens," I said to her.
I stopped walking and sat in the nearby loading and unloading station.
"Yeah, of course, I know that. I'm happy for them, but bitch, you also know that I hate loud musics and noises. Just please, I want to go somewhere until the party here is over."
"Okay, okay. Fine. I'm here in the loading and unloading statiom near my apartment. I'll wait for you here," I said.
"Sure! Oh my god, thank you!" she replied before hanging up the call.
I stared on the ground while waiting for Dhaile. I guess she will be here any minute soon. Her family's house is just some meters from this place.
After some moments, I heard Dhaile's voice shouting my name. I look up and I saw her running towards me. She stopped when a car passes by. She runs again when she is sure that there are no vehicles near.
"Hey!" she greeted.
"Hey," I stand up and we started walking.
"By the way, Casy, where are we going?" she asked.
"To Mrs. Cambri's house," I answered.
"Oh," she paused for a while. "You're still thinking about your student, huh?"
"Yep. I just want to check if she is fine. I know that she's miserable knowing that her son is in the brink of death," I said.
Dhaile and I are near in the train station when most of the people run to a certain direction. All of them are having worried expression on their face.
"What's happening?" I asked Dhaile.
"I don't know either," she answered while looking at the running people.
"Is there a fire? Tsunami?"
Because of nervousness, both of us run to the directiom where the other people are running. Even if we are not sure about what's happening, we think that there's something bad happening, like danger.
Both of us are exhausted when we stopped running. I look around and notice that there are so many people, like us, they are also tiree from running.
"Casy," Dhaile pulls my arms to her direction.
"Why? That hurts," I said to her.
She looks in my eyes. I can see the nervousness in it. "We are in the Center of the Capital," she said.
Her words made me froze. There is only one thing that can make the people run to the center of the capital.
Another person will be executed.
"Casy! Let's go away from here! I don't want to see another person die!" she shouted.
"No. We're not going to run," I answered firmly. "Let's go infront. I want to see who will be executed."
I know that Dhaile is afraid. I can't denu that I'm also frightened. Usually, there's only one person executed for a month, but this is the second time they will execute another person.
I pull Dhaile's hands while walking to the front of the people. We are in the nearly back part so it's difficult for us to go infront. Plus the large number of people gathering here.
At last, Dhaile and I are already infront of the crowd. The first they saw is the police are putting someone in the guillotine. They can't see who is the person for the police are blocking it.
"Listen everyone," General Cleofas showed up out of nowhere. "This person tried to stab me," the general let out a petrifying laugh.
"She tried to stab me. What a fool," he said while looking at the person that is still blocked by the police.
"You wanna know why?" he paused for a while like he is waiting for someone to answer him. "She wants to kill me, because her son, that is a gay, was killed. Well, Mrs," he looked again at the person. "It's not our fault that your son is a gay. It's not our fault that he didn't manage the suffering we gave to him."
The police finally walk to the side. Now, we can see who that woman is.
"Look! Stare at the face of this stupid woman!" General Cleofas shouted.
I hold Dhaile's arm.
"Let's get away from here," I said to here. I walk fast to leave that place immediately.
I can still hear General Cleofas' annoying voice.
I stop from walking.
"Who's that woman?" she asked.
I look at her. She was shocked when she saw tears falling from my eyes.
"That woman... She's Mrs. Cambri," I answered.
I was about to walk again when I hear the sound of the blade falling. Next thing I knew, General Cleofas is laughing so loud, so evil.
After the day when Mrs. Cambri was killed, I'm so furious. I'm furious by the fact that I don't possess the ability to save her and his son from death. I feel so hopeless and weak. "AAAARRRGGHH!" I shouted while kicking my bed and throwing everything I can hold. I don't even know the things I'm throwing away; all the I know is that I need to release the anger I'm feeling right now. "D*mn it! D*mn it!" I shouted repeatedly. I almost bang my head to the walls because of frustration. I feel my hands getting numb but I can't stop. I can't control myself and it feels like I need to create more things that can hurt me. The sound of crashing glasses and falling books filled the entire room. My sight looks blurry, maybe because of the tears my eyes kept releasing for minutes. My feet...hurts? Or numb? I don't know. I can't even explain what I feel right now. I know that I have
I'm the type of person who doesn't want to be in a circle of several people, but I guess 1-3 people are fine.For years, Dhaile is the one person and friend of mine whom I hang out with. Our hangouts are like, making lesson plans together, creating questions for recitations, and other things connected to school. Sometimes, we stayed in my apartment to watch movies together, but that is very seldom.But today is different. I'm not just with Dhaile, but also with Kate and Unah. Though this is not the first time we went out together, it still feels new. I think I haven't adjusted fully yet, but I'm sure that sooner or later, I'll be."Let's forget our problems for awhile," Dhaile exclaimed while she excitedly jumps on Unah's car. It looks like she really prepared for this moment. We're just going to mall to have a little fun, yet she's dressed to kill."Yeah, we must enjoy the following days