Chapter 3: The Silence After

Mariella's POV 

Sun rays tickled my face, like they were dancing right on it, and I turned away from the light. The bed was a little softer than I was used to, and it made me want to sleep more. I stayed put for a while until a splitting headache made my head spin, and I winced in pain. Not just my head but the space between my legs throbbed weirdly.

“That hurts…” I mumbled to myself, groaning as my eyes flickered open. The moment I took hold of my environment, I froze. I wasn't in the maid quarters that I usually slept in. 

I turned sharply, and my heart nearly stopped when I saw Luciano lying beside me, fast asleep. He was bare-chested, and I suddenly glanced down at myself. Seeing my naked body almost made me scream, but I had to place my hands over my mouth to stop anything from escaping.

What in God's name happened?

I pushed myself off the bed and stood up, but my legs wobbled, and I fell to the ground with a loud thud.

“No… no, it can't be. Please, Lord, no—”

I glanced at my legs, and the sight of blood nearly had me choking on air. I turned to the bed, and it was there too. Blood. My blood. I had been defiled. By a man with blood on his hands.

My clothes lay scattered on the ground, and I dragged myself up, my world spinning in front of me as I tried to remember what had happened last night. I tried to put my clothes on, but to my horror, they looked like they had been ripped apart.

“Breathe, Ella,” I muttered to myself as I tried to take in deep breaths. I saw the first aid box sitting on the table, and I began to remember what happened.

I had come in here to clean, then I touched him and saw the vision. He made me stitch his wounds up and— and then what?

This could cause my death. I slept with the Mafia leader. Not just that, what convent would accept a nun who wasn't pure anymore? This was a disaster.

I slid to the floor, my head in my hands as tears fell into my palm. I shouldn't even be calling the Lord's name. I have defiled myself, and now my soul is damned. How could I let this happen? Regret piled on my chest like a heavy load, and it suddenly became hard to breathe.

Luciano suddenly stirred, and I froze, my heart in my throat as I thought he would wake up, but he remained fast asleep. I threw on what was remaining of my clothes and tried to tidy up his room before he woke up and snapped my neck.

I scrubbed every drop of blood on the floor, but the large spot on the bed mocked me. Of course, I couldn't clean that without waking him.

I limped as I walked, the pain of being defiled for the first time settling heavily on me. But the guilt weighed heavier than the pain. How could I have been so loose?

I picked up the first aid box, and that was when I noticed the little cup of pills inside it. I remembered giving Luciano some of it last night because it was supposed to be pain relief pills, and I even took two of them. I picked out the cup, and the moment I saw the name written on it, my hand flew to my mouth instantly.

Then the memories flooded in like a dam that had just burst free. The pills made us feel hot and stupidly attracted to each other. He had touched me, inappropriately, and I let him. Because of these pills.

Viagra.

Why in heaven’s name were Viagra pills in a first aid box? And why didn't I notice this last night?

“S-sir don't stop…”

I shook my head as everything that happened last night began to play like a movie. The feeling had become too intense that we both couldn't wait anymore. He had ripped off my clothes in impatience. 

“Lord, have mercy… Christ, have mercy…” I choked out as I limped out of the room without wasting any more seconds. Tears ran down my cheeks as I ran and limped at the same time, moving like I was about to be crucified.

Guards stared at me with amused and confused looks as I rushed past them, but I was too ashamed to notice. In that moment, it felt like I had damned myself beyond redemption, like there could be no mercy left for someone like me. All my hopes of taking my final vows—of fully becoming a nun—had just flown down the drain, and that was the end of everything I had ever wanted.

“You could always lie to them…” I whispered to myself as I slammed the door behind me, hiding in the comfort of my quarters, but I knew better. The guilt would kill me, and I would confess on my own, bringing humiliation and shame upon myself. I was doomed.

I immediately got to my knees, not caring that I fell with so much force that it could bruise my knees for a while. I felt filthy. Unworthy before the Lord. But I pleaded for forgiveness anyway. It was all because of the pills.

“God of mercy and compassion, look with pity upon me. Father, let me call thee Father, 'tis thy child returns to thee. Lord, I ask for mercy, let me not implore in vain.”

After chanting those prayers over and over again, I still didn't feel better. It didn't help that my legs still felt sore and that I remembered enjoying every bit of what he did to me. I had moaned his name so loudly, more than I've ever given praise to God. I haven't even sung or prayed that loud in my life.

A loud knock echoed on the door, and my heart flew to my throat, a scared whimper escaping my lips. I limped over to open the door, and for a moment, I was expecting to see Dante.

But Luciano had decided to come see me himself. Great, he remembered everything, too.

Would this be my last day on earth?

“Sir Luciano—”

“You left this behind.” He muttered with an amusing look on his face, and when I glanced at the material in his hand, I almost choked on air.

He was holding my panties in his hands. I immediately snatched it from him and then realized that I was still wearing my torn uniform.

“What happened last night?” He suddenly asked, and I raised a brow at him in confusion. He was nothing like the scary Luciano I used to hear of. If anything, he looked quite harmless right now.

“You don't remember?” 

“I don't. A little, yes. I kissed you and then went blank. Did we— did we actually sleep together? Did I hurt you?”

Jesus, what the hell is going on?