“I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t help you.”

Balancing my phone between my shoulder and my cheek, I scramble around the living room for my keys. I wouldn’t say it’s my fault that I lose my keys so often, I just lose my train of thought of easily…thought. I’m trying to find my keys so I can find this damned immortal that has been plaguing my mind so often. He has to, in some way, be responsible for this. 

“Then put me on the phone with someone who can,” I demand, pushing papers around, tossing loose clothing over my shoulder. It almost feels like I can’t remember where my keys are for a reason. Or maybe I’m just jumping to conclusions with all the wild thoughts running through my head.

The women on the other end who I was stuck on hold for ten minutes before being able to talk to her sounds flustered. “This isn’t a common request, you see. People don’t just call a helpline to speak to an Immortal.”

True. But I didn’t know what else to do.

“You work with a connecting team to his institution though, right?” I ask. That was the reason why I called. I’m still going to get into my car and drive to his estate, which is a big drive, but worth it if I get answered. “I need to see him. This is urgent.”

Finally, I manage to find my keys stuffed between the couch cushions. Quickly, I run out into the rain, trying to shield myself with the notebook I’ve brought with me. Inside, is an extensive list of questions I have for Thought, if I manage to get close enough to him. I’m not going to stop until I get something…for my mental health. 

Sliding into the car, I turn it on, much to the caller’s distress. “Is that a car? Ma’am, please don’t do anything that you will regret. Thought might not even be in the Pack at the moment.”

“You’re utterly useless,” I mutter, as I hang up. 

I feel bad for being so rude, but I don’t have time to argue on the phone with someone who is never going to give me a chance to see Thought. It’s better to do things yourself. 

The drive is long, I know that, and I doubt I’ll get there until late into the evening. I’m hoping this rain lets up. It viciously attacks my windshield, causing me to lose a lot of vision. Thankfully, the moment I’m out of Fate’s territory, I’m onto straight roads that are easy to drive. I just hope I’ll get there and Thought will actually be where he lives. 

By the time I arrive to the border of his estate, dawn is only an hour away, and I’m exhausted. The drive was nice toward the end though, since the storm seemed condensed to Fate’s territory, is has no cleared up, and through the darkness I could see the infinite fields and small villages that I passed through. 

Approaching the front gate, I spot two guards who talk together casually, but the moment they notice my headlights approaching, they appear suddenly serious. 

A lump forms in my throat. Maybe this was a bad idea…

“I need to see Thought,” I say, the moment my windscreen has been lowered. The guard eyes my suspiciously, glancing down at the clipboard in his hand. Maybe I would have made an appointment if I actually knew how to go about that...

“We can’t let you in without authorisation,” he replies. 

He doesn’t even bother asking for my name, or what my intentions are. Looking forward, he completely disregards me, waiting for me to back up and leave. This clearly is a procedure that he is used to. Little does he know, that I’ve been through too much in the past few weeks to turn around when this is the first real lead I’ve had this entire time.

I can’t excuse the fact that the Immortal who control thought, of all things, have been plaguing my dreams and hallucinations. Especially when I’ve never seen him before otherwise.

“Right now, I might seem like a crazy fan of his or something, but I’m not. I’m here to ask him questions about a medical matter,” I explain. I’m really not going myself justice. 

The guard frowns at me. “It’s four in the morning.”

“Could you at least send a message to him and perhaps ask if he would be willing to see me? I can come back later?” I say. I’m not sure why the Guard is using the hour as an excuse. We all know the true, pure blood Immortals don’t sleep. Thought will be awake, wherever he is. And by the guard’s reactions, he’s inside that estate. 

“I’m sorry I can’t help you- “ 

All of a sudden, his speech is cut off. His eyes almost seem to glaze over, before he glances at the other guard, who opens the mechanical gate. I watch it glide open, revealing the driveway up to the estate, which stands proudly in the middle of the property. I’m not sure what is with their sudden decision to let me in, but I’m not going to sit here and complain. 

“Thank you,” I murmur, winding my window up as I crept into Thought’s private grounds. I wonder how many people get the ability to do this. Suddenly I can hardly remember why I’m here. 

His estate is impressive, but that doesn’t surprise me. I don’t allow it to manipulate my opinion. I’m not sure about what thought will be like, but I won’t let his lavish lifestyle skew me. Even if it is like stepping into a fairy-tale as I park next a foundation. 

Oh, how it must be nice to be powerful.

Stepping outside of the car, I’m surprised at how cold it is. It’s a shock of reality, with my mind feeling so foggy and out of place. Tiredness, I suppose. 

Listening to the almost magical sound of the fountain, I walk up to the front door. It’s an imposing sight, but so is this entire place. It’s lit with the soft golden glow of lights that reflect against the white walls of the manor. Vines littered with pretty flowers reach up around the supporting pillars to windows that are tinted black. It’s all very…unnerving. In any other case, it would be charming, but with the darkness, it’s beyond creepy. 

All of a sudden, as I stand at the door, my body goes cold. What am I doing here? I’m here all because of some crazy hallucinations that exist simply because of my own mental health issues. Thought won’t have anything to do with this…

I should just go home before I embarrass myself…

“You can come in,” I hear a meek voice say. Startled, I find a pair of blue eyes peering at me through a crack in the door. “I work here.”

Biting my lip, I walk in as she holds the door open for me. She seems shy, small. She casts her gaze down at the floor, her hair hidden underneath some kind of white cap. I wonder why she is opening the door for the immortal when she can barely look me in the eye. Already this place is strange, but am I surprised?

“I’m here to speak to Thought about him and his powers,” I tell her. I’m trying to remain, confident, as if why I’m here makes total sense. We are told never to trust immortals, that they have their own agendas, and don’t care much for people like us. 

But he would never hurt me for breaching his privacy. Right?

“It took you long enough,” she mutters under her breath so I barely catch it. Blinking a few times, I try register what she could possibly mean by that. Instead of explaining herself, she turns on her heels, and leads me up a flight of stairs, which I do so warily. 

This is going better than I expected, but I can’t shake the sudden chill that has taken over my body since I walked in here. It’s natural to be nervous about meeting an immortal. Especially when I’m about to accuse him of infiltrating my mind and ruining my life. Wow, I really am going crazy. 

“Any tips?” I ask the girl, once we reach the door which I’m assuming he resides behind. She looks at me blankly, before shrugging her shoulders. 

“Don’t trust him,” she breathes, “Everything you see, hear and think can be manipulated. Don’t believe anything.”

I wasn’t expecting her to be so honest. If that’s honesty. 

She doesn’t open the door for me, or lead me in to introduce me to him. Instead, she turns her back on me, and walks away, leaving me dumbfounded. Mustering up as much confidence as I can, I knock on the door a few times, before stepping in. 

I’m immediately hit by warmth coming from a fireplace in the room. I see an intimate living room area with plush seats and tables. It’s all very daunting, seeing brown leather and expensive wood furnishings all about, but I’m more interested in the man sitting on one of the seats, watching me enter the room. 

It strikes me how he looks exactly like the man from my hallucinations. 

Not a single detail is off. From the hair, to those eyes, to even the style of what he wears. It can’t be normal for me to dream about him like this so perfectly when I don’t remember ever seeing him in my life. Something is so off about this. 

“I’m sorry about coming here so early in the morning unannounced. The longer I stand here and think about it, the crazier it seems,” I admit. “But I needed to come talk to you.”

He raises an eyebrow at me. 

“Let me just start by saying- “

He puts his hand up, silencing me. I stand there, at the foot of the doorway, waiting for him to demand his security drag me out and have me never seen by the public ever again. He doesn’t look offended though. Just impassive. 

“I can read your mind, Luella. Did you forget I’m Thought?” he says softly. It’s not condescending, but it surely puts me in my place. 

“Right…” I draw off, wondering if it’s even worth me talking. 

“I can see your thoughts within my own my own mind with perfect coherency. I know why you’re here, and I know what you’re feeling,” he tells me, basically stripping me of all the initial courage I had. How could I forget such an important detail?

“I can see how scared you are,” he admits. “And you should be."

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