Chapter One - Jaden

“Are you listening to me, Jaden?”

No, not really. I stopped years ago. 

My father’s BMW grinds to a halt in front of my brother’s apartment building, or should I say my apartment building.

God, this is going to suck.

My freshman year of college, and I’m being forced to live with my older brother. Dad wants me to be safe. He says Adam can show me the ropes and make sure I’m hanging out with the right group of friends. If only that were the case.

The truth is, I have no friends, and Dad wants to make sure I’ll be around other human beings instead of locking myself in my room with no social interaction. I'm sure others make it fine in life without being forced into social situations that make them uncomfortable. 

He won’t have anyone to watch over me if I stay in a dorm room. What’s he going to do pay my roommate to hang out with me? With my brother being a social butterfly, I’ll be exposed to people my age. What Dad forgets—or decides to ignore—is that I’m going to be surrounded by half-naked girls all the time. Adam is definitely one of those guys. I love him, he’s my brother, but he’s a complete eff-boy to be honest.

Dad snaps his fingers in front of my face, and I jump. “Huh?”

He ruffles his graying hair and goes to say something when his phone beeps. “Dr. Baker, here. What can I do for you?” he asks into the Bluetooth speaker. “Yes, our appointment is tomorrow. Yes, eleven. I'll be there." He rolls his eyes like his patient is trying his nerves, before he ends the call. 

Dad pulls out a pen from his shirt pocket, clicks it, and I watch as he pulls out his checkbook. “Jaden.”

I roll my eyes.

Money fixes everything, according to Dad, who’s a psychologist, so he should know you can’t buy happiness. “I’m giving you three blank checks. You get anything you need for school. New clothes. Whatever. All of your books are on your bed upstairs. Nancy already has everything you’ll need for your room and classes.”

Nancy is my dad’s secretary and the closest thing I’ve ever had to a mother. I wish she were here, but she has her own kids to worry about, and sadly, I'm not one of them.

I fold the checks and slip them into my jeans.

“Are you ready to go inside? See your new room?” He has this fake enthusiastic tone to his voice. He uses it on me as if I’m three, not eighteen. It’s the same one he uses on his clients—the ones who need mental help. Which tells me everything I need to know.

“No,” I say, grabbing my purse, which Dad spent a fortune on. “But, like I have a choice.”

Dad frowns, pulls the keys from the ignition, and faces me. The icy look—the natural one—is there, but I don’t care. “This should be exciting for you, Jaden.” He reaches for me, but withdraws his hand as if I might bite him for touching me. His brown eyes narrow and he furrows his thick brows. “This is your chance to make a fresh start. Make friends. Make new memories. Good ones this time.”

Easier said than done. “Okay, Dad. Can we go inside now?”

He stares blankly at me for a long while before getting out of the driver’s seat.

I sigh and step out of the Beemer. This is where rich parents send their children for college. I don’t know how much the rent is, but I know it’s a butt load. Dad doesn’t think twice when Adam or me ask for money. It’s like second nature to hand over wads of cash. It means he is taking care of his children. More like bribing them, but whatever helps him sleep at night.

I follow him up the three flights of stairs to the fourth floor. There is music vibrating from the other side.

Dad raps his knuckles roughly against the door. He knocks louder, grumbling underneath his breath. His arm flies up, and he glances at his watch. He’s sweating in his expensive suit. Only my dad would wear a suit to help his daughter move. Not that we have to actually do any moving.

Dad pulls out his cell. I figure he’s calling Adam, but it goes straight to voicemail. “Great,” he grumbles before pounding his fist against the door. “Open the door, Adam!” he yells.

I play with a dark curl hanging against my shoulder and bite my lip to keep from laughing. A bead of sweat drops from Dad’s upper lip. Then the door swings open and my eyes snap upward.

My. God.

A shiver shoots down my spine as I drink in everything that’s standing in front of me. He has dark brown hair that’s standing up as if a woman has recently ran her hands through it. My eyes drag down his body over each lean, long muscle, and the deep ridge of his oblique's. Tattoos cover his torso, from a long, tribal tattoo to something peeking out of his low-rise sweats, to a cluster of them along his other arm.

Something settles in my lower stomach, and I squeeze my thighs together to keep the heat in. Is this a dream? Are we at the right apartment? We have to have the wrong apartment. I glance at the door.

306. Nope, right apartment.

Dad makes a disgusted snort and waves his hand in front of him. It isn’t long before I smell why. Weed, for sure.  “I’m looking for Adam.”

My eyes settle on his dimples—of course, he has dimples—and then move with him as he rests against the doorframe.

“Adam Baker?” he asks. His voice sends another roll of lava under my skin while my toes curl in my Dolce & Gabbana suede, knee-high boots. Someone call the fire department.

Dad’s teeth grind together. “Yes, my son. Is he here?”

Pursing his thick, pink lips, he strokes the scruff on his jaw with a long finger. Dad seems uneasy. “Adam. Hmm, Adam.”

His gaze drifts over to me for the first time, and my sex clenches. Lifting a brow, he rakes his eyes from my hair to my toes. I squeeze my already curled feet into my shoes.

Dad snaps his fingers in front of his face, and he drops his “I’m-taking-all-your-clothes-off-in-my-head-right-now” look. “Is Adam here?”

He smiles—God he smiles—and I bite my tongue. He’s making fun of my dad, and I can’t help but grin. “Yeah, he’s in the living room.”

Dad pushes his way in. I wait in the hall unsure of what to do and fight the urge to drink him in again. When I do look, his left hand is wrapped around the top of the doorframe, and he leans forward. His dark eyes penetrate me, and I’m trying not to lap like a dog from the heat of it.

“You can come in. I won’t bite,” he whispers before his tongue darts out of the side of his mouth. “But no promises about licking.”

I haven’t even stepped foot inside of my new home, and I need to change my underwear. He laughs at the expression on my face. Could I be any more embarrassed?

“What are you doing to my sister, Cade? Leave her alone.” Adam shows up in the doorway. He has a lazy smile on his lips and his arms wide open. I take a few cautious steps toward him, definitely aware of how close I am to the tall, dark and handsome standing next to me.

Cade doesn’t answer but I hear the door click shut behind us. His front is really close to my butt now, and I feel his breath on my neck. My gaze turns to my dad who’s examining the living room from several feet away, oblivious to everything else.

The warmth from his body heats me. I want to move, but my feet won’t budge.

Then Adam pulls me to him and wraps me in a hug. His breath hits the side of my face and I nearly gag. He’s definitely high. The entire place smells like weed, which explains why it took them ten minutes to answer the door. I pull back and scrunch my nose.

He ruffles my hair as he does our cocker spaniel, and slaps me on the back. As if I need another reason—besides being the same bra size since ninth grade—for him to think I’m a little kid. “This is Jaden,” Adam says, gesturing toward me. “This is Cade.”

I turn to gaze up at him when something catches my attention. A long-legged blonde staggers toward us from the far hallway. 

Adam smiles. “And this is Sadie.”

She is swaying her hips as if she’s on the runway. When she reaches Cade, she peers down at me. She’s probably 5’9, and I have never felt this small. 5’2 doesn’t compete with 5’9. Ever. Her slender arm snakes around Cade’s waist as she offers me her other hand.

Of course, I take it.

“Jaden,” I mumble. The gross grease stain on the kitchen floor is suddenly very interesting.

“Sadie,” she says, with a voice that matches her long silky hair. “So you’re Adam’s sister?”

My cheeks are hot and I can feel Cade’s eyes on me. God, why am so awkward? “Yes.”

She nods and nuzzles her mouth against Cade’s thick neck. Cade doesn’t move, keeping an amused smile directed toward me. He makes this face—a face that tells me he thinks I’m not old enough to watch him be kissed. The thought pisses me off. But not as badly as the fact I care what this stranger thinks about me.

“Come on, sis. Let me show you to your room.”

Thank, God.

I nearly race out of the small kitchen and into the hallway. Adam slings his arm around me and pulls me close to his side. “This is it.”

I take a step in, checking behind me to see dad following us. My entire room is in grays and whites. Paris, London, Tokyo and Australia pictures line my walls. It’s my dream to travel, and Nancy always supports it. She decorated this perfectly. It looks magazine worthy.

“Do you like it?” Dad asks from the doorway. He’s checking his phone, and I’m sure he doesn’t really care if I do or not. I don’t think he’s even looked up.

“It’s great. Thanks.”

“Good. No problem.” He shoves his phone in his pocket. “Your schedule is in your History book. You’ve already been registered. So all you have to do is show up for class tomorrow.” He puts his hands into his pockets and gives me his patient smile. Yeah, the forced one. “Your pills are on your nightstand,” he adds.

Warmth envelopes my cheeks. When I glance at Adam, he’s staring at me with a worried expression. “And you know you have your appointment next—”

“Yep, got it,” I say, dropping my purse on my bed before I take a seat

I do not want to talk about this. Dad and I haven’t talked about my medication since I was put on it over a year ago. An eerie silence covers the room, and I pretend to pick lint off of my new comforter.

A huge black desk sits beside my bed. My laptop, printer, books, and pens sit on top. A bookshelf near the window overflows with books, and my dresser stands opposite of the bed, close to my entertainment center.

Dad claps his hands. “Adam, you keep an eye on her.” He points to me as if I’m some kind of prized possession, and I might break. “Keep her away from”—his eyes move toward the kitchen—“people.”

Adam laughs. Plopping down beside me on the bed, he runs his fingers into his dark hair. “Dad, Jaden isn’t exactly Cade’s type. You don’t have to worry about him. He isn’t around much, anyway.”

Not his type? Not that I care, but why? Maybe because I’m five foot two, and the boob fairy ran out of material when she gave all the other girls theirs.

“Good,” Dad says, straightening his tie. “I’ve got to jet. If you … need anything let me know, okay?”

I nod. Reluctantly, Dad walks over and presses a kiss to the top of my head. “Bye, Jaden. You can come home whenever you feel like it, okay?”

I nod. Then he’s gone. Just like that.

Once the door closes, Adam lets out a huge sigh and slams his palms down on the bed. “I’m so glad he’s gone.”

I smile over at him. “Why, because you’re scared he’d find out what that smell really came from?”

Adam’s green eyes, that match mine, dart over to me. “Oh, Dad knows. He just didn’t say anything because as long as I’m not getting girls pregnant and staying in school, he doesn’t care."

I stand up. “So, I guess you’re stuck with me now?”

Adam gets to his feet, stretching his arms above his head. “Guess so. But, hey,” he says, grabbing my wrist, “are you okay? I mean …” he trails off. Because neither one of us knows what to say. Adam knows what happened in school. My grandma who lives five hundred miles away knows about what happened at school.

“I’m fine.” I snatch my dresser drawer open and pull out underwear, a tank top, and some yoga pants. “Like Dad said, I’m starting over.”

I swallow the lump that’s trying to crawl up my throat. Dad went a little crazy this summer and slapped me. He’d never done it before but it stung and brought tears to my eyes. All because I didn’t want to go to my appointment. I just wanted to skip one. “No he hasn’t.”

Adam nods. “Good. I’d kill him if he did, J.” Then he reaches his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side. “But the bastard is right. This is a chance to start over.” He kisses the top of my head. “Hurry and shower. Will is getting back from baseball practice, and I want to introduce you.”

“Who’s Will?”

“My other roommate.”

“Another? What do you mean?” I think I know exactly what he means. That Cade is one of those other said roommates. I just thought he was visiting. I didn’t think I’d have to actually live with him.

“Cade and Will are both roommates. Cade moved in a few weeks ago. But don’t worry, they won’t bother you. They know you’re my little sister. They're scared of the guns.” He flexes his bicep.

That’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried I’ll embarrass myself living with two college guys. Or the fact that I’m super aware of everything Cade does around me. Or how large his shoulders are. Did Dad not think this out at all? 

“Oh,” I say.

Grabbing my things, I shoot across the hallway toward the bathroom before he can see the worry line in my forehead. What am I getting into?