5: Tight Position

Elena’s POV

Put a face to the naked body… For $35k, show the world that the faceless man you’ve been fantasizing about and drawing is your dad’s best friend.

I restructure Lady Zee’s words in my head and the more I think about it, the more it gets scary.

“Dear, are you there?” Lady Zee’s voice beckons calmly.

I still don't respond.

‘I can't…’ I mumble but no words form.

‘No… I can't.’

It'll break me forever.

It’ll ruin the tiny fragments of dignity my family is struggling to keep.

I can't risk the consequences of being caught. Even though I hate my dad, I still respect him enough, and I know that this discovery will hurt my mum.

And Dominic Mercer… He won't be spared, either.

“Elena, are you still on the line?”

I keep shaking my head nonstop as if she can see me and know I’m not interested in the deal.

“No,” I finally find my voice, and the banging word in my head is the first thing that I say. I pause to gulp dryly. “I…I…”

“Oh, I thought I lost you for a minute.” She exhales loudly. “It's okay, darling.” She casually waves it off. “I mean, I wasn't expecting you to agree so easily.”

I nod as if she can see me.

“If it helps, no one knows you’re the artist… except me.” The hesitation before the last words makes it feel like a threat when it’s supposed to calm me. “No one has to know.”

Again, I nod, hoping she keeps to her end of the bargain.

“Take your time… Twelve hours. As a matter of fact, take the whole of the day to think about it.” She pauses. “Just a tip, an extra grand for a swift response.”

Jeez!

This is obviously a deliberate action, staking so much money on the line and watching my defiance break.

I know how crazy some fans can be. This may easily go south just as easily as the deal is. I end the call before I consider her offer. My hands are trembling, and I struggle to clutch tightly to the phone but it falls out of my hold.

‘You’re foolish! A very foolish daughter! Your mum’s life depends on this and you do what?!…

…Go ahead, selfish saint! Choose some fake dignity over your mum…

…It’s only a matter of time, you’re gonna kill her and her blood will be on your hands…’

Bitter agonizing thoughts claw at me, rip my brain apart till I’m numb from the anxiety.

I fall flat on the cold rough floor, fingers trembling, body covered in thick goosebumps, but mind blank. I struggle to block out scary images of my mum’s corpse being wheeled to the morgue, Sophie yelling at me… Me standing at a distance at my mum’s funeral.

A loud sob breaks out of me.

I don't fight it.

I remain still on the floor while the hot tears roll down.

The anxiety attack slowly eases off. I'm now lying in a pool of my tears and sweat even though I’m icy cold. I get up, strip, and take a warm shower. I arrive at the clinic thirty minutes later, and following Sophie’s description, I meet them in a private ward at the ICU.

I hear the loud steady sound of the BP machine beeping before I even open the door. My mum lies still on the hospital bed, with several probes plugged into her body. Sophie is resting her head on the bedside.

I gently shut the door, walk up to my mum, and plant a soft kiss on her head. Her skin is cold and sweaty. Holding back my tears, I dig my fingers into Sophie’s hair and ruffle it as if she’s a child.

She jolts upward in defence, but melts on seeing me. “Sissy,” she stands up to hug me, sobbing quietly in my arms. “Did you… Did you…”

“Shhh,” I cup her chin and make her look at me. “I'm on it. Trust me.”

She nods and brushes off her tears. “Thank you.”

I fake a smile. “Go home, freshen up, and relax. You have school tomorrow.”

“I want to stay…”

“No, no. It's not a request.” I stop her from arguing.

She nods again, hugs me tightly, and leaves.

Alone, I sit beside my mum and take her cold hand in mine. She lies unconscious in bed, not responding to any stimuli, not even when I beat the back of her ears, something she hates Sophie and I doing to her. Her helplessness breaks my heart. To think that she has no control over who she wants touching her and who she doesn't, makes it worse.

“You believe in miracles, mum…” I squeeze her hand tightly. “And even though I don't… I want to believe it too.” My voice is shaky.

Gently, I place my second hand over hers and caress the back of her hand a little. “‘Cus I’m tired and no one sees it. And I can't tell you or Sophie because it’ll break your heart.”

I don't mean to sob but I don't stop either.

“Just wake up. Please.”

I place her hand beside her so she can rest, while I just sit and stare at her, blank, not sure what emotion is breaking to the surface. After what seems like ten minutes, I walk into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. My reflection in the mirror is scary; my hair is messy, my eyes red and buried in dark circles from exhaustion, face is pale.

It's hard to believe in miracles, not when everything makes no sense at all.

I pull out my phone and dial Lady Zee.

She doesn't hesitate to pick up.

“No stories, darling. I just need a yes or no.” She reminds me how she hates people beating about.

“Yes,” I close my eyes and let the realization of the dark path I just chose settle in. “We have a deal.”