FOR HER, I'LL WALK INTO DARKNESS

∆EZEKIEL∆

"What about her?" I asked slowly. 

"You are aware her condition is getting worse and you don't have the money for the transplant. You don’t have enough money, and you won’t be able to raise it in time." Raymond sneered, while watching my reaction carefully.

I clenched my fist not understanding how he got to know about the money I needed for my sister's heart transplantation.

Leaning back leisurely in the chair, Raymond smiled, "Listen to me Ezekiel, a private personality is backing up the investigation and he has promised to give your sister the best medical treatment by shifting her to one of the top hospitals in the city, if you can succeed in the mission." 

My throat went dry, they had me in a corner and he was doing it intentionally. 

"Why me?" This time my words came out as a whisper. 

"Because you're Ezekiel, and I trust in your capabilities," He replied, "take your time Ezekiel, no rush, once you made up your mind, come to me, I'll be waiting for you!" 

I stormed out of the office after that, and hot tears blurred my vision as I walked out.

I had betrayed the government first, having sex with a wanted criminal. 

It went against everything we were trained to stand for, and it hurts even more when I remembered how I reacted to it especially to his touch. 

And now, my sister? I can't afford to fail her too. I had no choice, I knew I had no choice but at least, I wanted a miracle. It wasn't so hard to want one. 

"Zeke," it was Ryan's voice. 

"I want to be alone," I muttered coldly. 

"You know that's not good for you right?"  He sat beside me anyway. 

"It's none of your business Ryan, I said I wanted to…" He pressed a hand lightly against my shoulder, without letting me continue.

"It's okay, I won't say anything.... You won't even know I'm here," He promised and I sighed looking away. 

One minute, I was in the enemy’s bed. The next minute, I was being ordered to capture him. 

The shift felt unreal, like the universe was mocking me.

My body still ached, a quiet and dull pain, constant reminder of how badly I had crossed the line. 

Every step felt like a confession. Every movement dragged guilt behind it.

I had broken the oath we swore the day we became agents, to protect the country, to stay objective, to never let emotion interfere with duty.

And I had failed before the mission even began.

I should have been reaching for handcuffs the moment I met him.

Instead… I let myself forget everything and drowned myself in intimacy.

Now all I wanted was to find him again, not for pleasure, not for answers, but to gather everything needed to bring him down.

The thought burned with desperation in my heart.

He probably didn’t even remember me, just another face, another night, and another mistake he walked away from without looking back.

And me?

I remembered everything.

The power in the way he moved. The calm confidence that said he already owned the room, owned me, before I even realized it.

My jaw tightened.

Then reality slammed back into place.

Zachary, the ruler of the dark world, the men who are smarter and stronger than me had tried going after him and never returned. 

I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could walk into his territory and come back untouched.

One wrong move and I wouldn’t come back at all. Could I really take that risk when my sister still needed me?

What was the point of her having me if I couldn’t even save her? If all I’d end up doing was holding her cold body because I chose fear over courage?

Zachary commanded the whole city, and even some cops are under his control. He knew what was to happen before it even happened. 

How then did Raymond think he would allow me to find him? I had found him once and lost him, I wasn't even sure I would see him a second time. He was… 

"Zeke," Ryan called and I raised my head to look at him with an irritated face. 

"I thought you said you would shut up and not make a sound," I growled at him. 

"Why are you crying?" He asked in a voice laced with disbelief. 

"I'm crying?" I scoffed.... He must be blind to imagine things.

"Yes, you are," He insisted and I raised my fingers to my face, grazing past it when my muscles tensed. 

"What?" I brought my fingers to my eyes. Hot liquid shimmered on my finger tips. 

"What the…." I stood up abruptly. 

"Where are you going?" He stood up with me. 

"Don't even dare follow me," I warned and walked away from there.

I walked aimlessly, and drove straight to the place that's not at all in my mind to visit.

I don’t remember how I got to this place.

One moment I was with Ryan while thinking about all the unnecessary things, the next I was standing outside her ward, staring through the glass.

She looked smaller than ever and fragile, but her face is pale with no usual brightness.

The machines around her hummed softly, tubes taped to her arms, her chest rising and falling in careful rhythm. 

The hospital light made her skin look almost translucent.

She was just twelve, she should have been arguing about homework, complaining about school while insisting on playing with friends for longer, laughing too loudly at something ridiculous.

Not lying there.

I pushed the door to open it quietly as I didn't want to alert her, but her eyes fluttered, then widened when she saw me.

"Zeke!" Her voice was still bright and lovely.

I forced a smile onto my face just to keep her normal. "Hey, troublemaker!" 

"You didn’t come back last night," she pouted slightly. "You promised to stay by my side, didn't you?" 

Those words pierced my heart, I quickly covered my facial expression, walked closer and said gently, "I'm sorry sweetie, I had some work.... You know your brother works too much, right?" 

She studied me carefully, she always did that, like she could see things other people couldn’t. "You look so tired, are you really pushing yourself too much?" 

"I look handsome," I corrected automatically not wanting to worry her about my situation.

She giggled faintly, the sound felt like oxygen to my ears, I sat beside her and brushed her hair away from her forehead, it was thinner and fragile now. 

"What did the doctor say?" She asked quietly.

I swallowed hard, there it was, the question I couldn’t outrun.

"The doctor said everything is getting better now," I said carefully. "Soon the treatment will change and we can go home as soon as possible." 

Her eyes lit up instantly. "Really?"

"Yeah." 

She stared at me for a few seconds, too quiet, and said softly, "I heard big sisters here saying that, we need money for the treatment, but you don’t have the money." 

I looked away to hide the tears in my eyes, "You don't have to worry about money, I’ll figure it out."

"That sounds hard…" 

I forced a small laugh. "It's hard but I can manage for you, I’ll figure something out. I always do." 

She didn’t smile this time, just looked into my eyes, "Is it dangerous?"

My heart stuttered at her question, "What?" 

"Whatever you’re doing," she asked in that small tone. "It’s dangerous, right? People in movies always get hurt when they try to fix things too fast, you're not doing anything like that, right brother?" 

I shook my head quickly, almost too quickly. "No, I'm just going to work overtime, nothing dangerous, my dear!" 

"Don’t lie to me." 

Her voice wasn’t accusing, it was full of fear, and I felt something inside me crack.

"I’m not lying," I said more gently this time. "I promise."

She searched my face again, and I hated that she knew me well enough to doubt me.

"Just… don’t get hurt, you’re all I have, I can't live without you," she whispered with teary eyes.

That was it, it's not about money or fear, no questions either, just that, a small request for me not to get hurt.

I leaned forward and hugged her carefully, afraid of the wires, afraid of breaking her.

"I won’t," I said into her hair, and for the first time that day, the lie felt heavier than the truth.

I stayed like that longer than I meant to, memorizing the warmth in case I ever lost it.

When I left the hospital, I left with a new found confidence. 

I was going up against Zachary. Not because I didn't care anymore but because she deserved to live and that was the only thing that mattered. 

Raymond’s office door was half-open when I reached it.

For a moment, I just stood there.

My sister’s voice replayed in my head.

'Don’t get hurt.'

I exhaled slowly, then knocked once and stepped inside.

Raymond looked up from his desk, mildly surprised. "You're back?" 

"I am," I replied calmly.

"And?" 

I wasn’t choosing courage, I was choosing her, for her, I’ll walk into darkness

"I’m going. I’ll take the mission." I said strongly. 

"Ezekiel, are you sure?" He asked, while leaning into the table. 

I was about to scream from frustration that he was the one that advised me, while leaving me no choice to take the job so what was he saying now? 

"I'm sure!" 

"Whoever gets any information about Zachary never sees the light of the next day," He added. 

I didn't know if that was meant to scare me or warn me, it was already too late, "When am I beginning?"