Chapter 2

Hindi ko alam kung alin ang mas nakakamatay—ang hangover ko o ang fact na katabi ko ngayon sa hapag-kainan ang lalaking kasama ko kagabi.

Tahimik akong nakaupo sa tabi ni Mara habang pilit na inaayos ang pagkain sa plato ko, pero kahit anong gawin ko, hindi ko maiwasang maramdaman ang presensya ni Ninong Rafa sa kabilang side ng table. Every few seconds, napapatingin ako sa kaniya nang hindi sinasadya, at sa tuwing nahuhuli ko ang sarili ko, agad kong ibinabaling ang tingin ko sa pagkain. This was ridiculous. Ilang oras lang ang nakalipas, wala akong pakialam kung sino siya. Ngayon, alam ko nang siya pala ang Ninong na hindi ko kailanman nakilala nang personal.

At mas nakakainis dahil sa lahat ng lalaking puwede kong makasama kagabi, bakit kailangan siya pa?

“So, Thea,” Mara suddenly spoke, making me look at her. “How's your head?”

“M-Masakit.”

My dad immediately glanced at me. “That's what happens when you drink too much.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

Mara covered her smile with her hand while Dad simply shook his head. Sa kabilang bahagi ng mesa, narinig ko ang mahina at maikling tawa ni Ninong Rafa. Napatingin ako sa kaniya, and the moment our eyes met, biglang nawala ang amusement sa mukha niya.

He was looking at me.

Hindi iyong casual na tingin ng isang family friend. It was the same look he gave me last night, and for one horrifying second, parang bumalik sa katawan ko ang lahat ng nangyari kagabi.

Agad akong umiwas ng tingin.

“Anyway,” sabi ni Dad, obviously unaware of the tension, “Rafa, you haven't changed much.”

“Neither have you,” sagot ni Ninong Rafa, calm as ever.

“Liar. Look at my hair.”

Napatingin si Ninong Rafa sa buhok ng tatay ko bago bahagyang ngumiti. “You've changed a little.”

“A little?”

“A lot.”

Natawa si Mara, and eventually even I couldn't stop myself from smiling. For a few minutes, naging normal ang atmosphere sa table, hanggang sa nagsimula silang magkwentuhan tungkol sa nakaraan.

“You know,” sabi ni Dad habang kumakain, “the last time you saw Thea, she was barely a year old.”

I almost choked on my water.

Ninong Rafa glanced at me before looking back at my father. “I remember.”

“You were here for her baptism.”

“Yes.”

“After that, you left for the States.”

“Two weeks after the baptism,” dagdag ni Ninong Rafa. “I had to leave earlier than expected.”

Dad nodded. “And you never got the chance to come back.”

“Not until now.”

I stayed quiet habang nakikinig sa kanilang dalawa. Strange hearing them talk about a version of me I didn't remember. Apparently, this man had been there when I was still a baby, and somehow, I had grown up without ever knowing what he looked like.

“You know what's funny?” Dad suddenly said. “She doesn't even know who her godparents are.”

I looked at him. “Because I was a baby?”

“No. Because you never cared.”

"Daddy!”

Ninong Rafa smiled faintly.

“Yeah right,” he said. “She wouldn't remember me anyway.”

I looked at him again. “So you've never seen me after that?”

“Not personally.”

“Wow.”

I didn't know why that answer made me feel relieved and disappointed at the same time.

Then Dad's expression softened.

“I wish you had been here when Alliya passed.”

The table suddenly became quieter.

My fingers stopped moving against the fork.

Ninong Rafa's smile disappeared as he looked down at his plate for a moment. “I wanted to come.”

“But you couldn't.”

“I was in the middle of a project. By the time I could arrange everything, the funeral was already over.”

I stared at my food.

I remembered that time too well. The hospital. The calls. The people coming into our house. The flowers. The endless condolences. And then the funeral where everything suddenly became real.

Ninong Rafa had never been there.

I had never wondered why because, honestly, I barely knew he existed.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

I looked up.

His eyes were on me.

For the first time since he arrived, there was no teasing amusement or calm confidence in his expression. He genuinely looked sorry.

I shrugged, forcing a smile. “It's okay. You didn't know me.”

“But I knew your mother.”

Something about the way he said it made me pause.

There was a strange weight behind those words, but before I could ask anything, Dad suddenly changed the subject.

“So, Rafa, enough about the past. What about you? Married?”

I nearly dropped my fork.

Ninong Rafa calmly took a sip of his water before answering.

“No.”

Dad raised an eyebrow. “No? Lampas ka na sa kalendaryo wala ka pa ring asawa?

“I'm just... too busy.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Wala rin.”

“Children?”

“Nothing.”

I stared at my plate. For some reason, my cheeks suddenly felt warm.

What the hell?

Why was I smiling?

Why did I suddenly feel relieved?

I quickly took a sip of water, hoping nobody would notice, but apparently, I wasn't as subtle as I thought.

Mara looked at me. Then she looked at Ninong Rafa. Then back at me.

A tiny smile slowly appeared on her face.

I immediately knew she noticed.

Oh, shit.

I shook my head slightly, silently warning her not to say anything.

Thankfully, she didn't. But when I looked up again, I froze.

Ninong Rafa was already looking at me.

His eyes briefly dropped to my flushed cheeks before returning to my eyes, and there was the faintest hint of amusement on his face.

I swallowed.

He knew.

Of course he knew.

"Masama ba ang pakiramdam mo, Thea? Ba't namumula ka?" tanong ni Mara sakin dahilan para manigas ako sa kinauupuan ko.

I let out an awkward laugh and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Hindi pa nawawala hangover ko.”

Dad frowned. “That's why you shouldn't be drinking like that.”

“Yeah right,” I quickly agreed, nodding as if that explanation made perfect sense.

Mara bit her lip, clearly trying not to laugh.

And Ninong Rafa?

He simply leaned back in his chair, watching me with that same unreadable expression.

I suddenly wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole.

Because for some stupid reason, hearing that Ninong Rafa was single felt like the best news I'd heard all morning.