A TWENTY SOMETHING

HANA

         "You will die if you stay here." He said, gripping my elbow tightly. "Run when you had the chance." He coughed again, and more blood splattered out of his mouth.

       "I can't be more dead than I already am," I whispered to no one. 

       But he heard it. His intense gaze caught mine. It's like he has become an entirely different person. I caught a glimpse of determination in the way he looked. 

        "Are you sure?" He asked me.

        "Yes," I replied, and together, we fought the demons. 

                                                             *

       I woke up to a pounding sensation in my head. It feels so heavy. With every passing day, the nightmares are getting worse. Sometimes, I even fight with dragons which is funny in reality. But I was fighting for my life in my dreams. But every time, he is there. His hazel eyes, bloodied knuckles, and fierce gaze haunted me for years now. My phone vibrated with a notification.

     I checked it just to find another message from a fraud loan app. I regret signing up for a loan in one app. Now my phone is full of loan ads and fraud calls. Another message popped up reminding me of my approaching Credit card EMI. No, no, no. Don't remind me, I pray to no one in particular. I just pray. 

       I knew that the day sucks without even starting it. Every day is like this. I think, think, and think a lot. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't run away three months ago from my wedding. 

      If I had married Cillian, would I be struggling like this? Would I lead a happy life like all the girls in arranged marriage novels do? Would Cillian have loved me? I tapped my cheeks twice so that I would get out of my head.

       I would have had a life of luxury if I had married. But definitely, not the freedom and the space I need. This is for the best, and novels are novels for a reason.

        I pushed the thoughts away and got ready to go to the office. My tiny studio apartment doesn't require much effort to clean it. So it gives me time to cook my lunch. I settled for a short-sleeved top and a pencil-cut skirt. It was half past 9 when I reached my office and another 10 minutes of walk on these stupid stillettos to reach my ODC. My long hair has now started to become a mess because of the wind gust. I have no one to curse but myself for getting up late and ending up like this. The queue at the lift feels like the line in Disney World. Why are so many people working here?

        I opted for stares as mine is just the third floor. Shalini called me twice now as the DSM has started, and our client has already asked for me. Why the hell did the client join a Daily Stand Up meeting? It's funny how a stand-up meeting has now become another regular meeting since the pandemic, and even GMs and clients sometimes graced their presence. 

        Just when I reached my floor, I bumped into something hard. At first, I was sure it was the wall. But the wall doesn't beat or it doesn't breathe. I took a step back, rubbing my forehead. It's not the wall I bump into, it's a man. I was in a hurry to even notice who it was. 

       "Sorry," I said and once again, started to run. But the man before me stopped me by grabbing my elbow. The first thing I noticed was how tall he was. I hate when the men tower over me. He has a stubble beard and long hair that gives his handsome looks a rugged quality. His eyes are green, and it took me to the forest in my nightmare. And his expression is unreadable.

      "Sorry? Do I know you?" I asked him, looking from him to our ODC. Just twenty steps, and I will be there.

      "Hana," He called my name in a deep voice, his grip on my elbow tightened. 

      "How do you know...."

      "You were the bride," He mumbled to himself, leaving me in shock.

        He knew me. Suddenly, my head started to spin. He knew me!

       "Who are you?" My words stumbled while I stayed still. 

       "Bash," Someone called him from behind.

        I released the breath I didn't even remember holding. He is not Cillian. He is Bash. He is someone else. Is he Cillian's friend? But I will worry about it later. For now, Bash turned around to meet the girl coming towards us, and I took the chance to get away from him.

        "You alright?" Shalini asked me once I was seated at my desk. I nod my head, opening my laptop.

         She handed me her water bottle. "Why are you sweating?" She questioned.

         "Someone recognised me," I mumbled to myself.

         "What?" She questioned again, leaning towards me.

         I shook my head. "I took the stairs," I tell her.

         "Yeah, Two of the six elevators are not working. I am gonna complain to the management." She said.

         "They will ask you to raise a ticket," Matteo joked from behind.

           His desk is behind us. And he already started working.

          "What did I miss?" I asked her.

          "Just sprint planning. And the client gave a new requirement. You should present that by EOD." She told me.

          "No," I did a fake cry. 

          "It's okay. We just have to add a little feature. I will help you."

          I puckered my lips to give her a kiss in the air. She smiled, and we started to do our respective tasks.

          It was 9 p.m. by the time I completed the call with the client.

          "I am so done. I am resigning." Shalini said while tying her black hair into a messy bun. She got up from her seat, stretching her hands. 

          She is taller than me, and the heels she uses make me look shorter. That reminds me of the person I met today. My mind constantly went back to him. Who is he? How does he know me? 

           "Let's go grab some coffee, and later we can go home and start typing our resignation letters," Shalini suggested, pulling me away from my thoughts.

           "This is the tenth time you said you would resign." I reminded her.

           "The work is like that." She said.

            Together, we went to the cafeteria. All the people who do the night shifts gathered there. It is packed with people as it was in the morning. Why do they look like robots to me?

           "Let's go to the pantry on our floor. It will be less crowded there." I suggested.

          There is no one in our pantry. I thanked the heavens and started to make the coffee for both of us. Shalini stepped out to attend her boyfriend's call. 

         That's when I saw him again. Bash. He is looking at me through the glass door that separates the rooms we are in. He stood tall, hands tucked in his pockets. The suit he wore this morning is nowhere to be found. He was in a buttoned down black shirt, his eyes didn't blink when he looked at me.

     I walked to him, holding my cup tightly. I looked around. It is so quiet. "What do you want?" I dared to ask him. 

      He opened the door, making me step back. He smelled fresh like an evening on a rainy day while I am sweating and probably smells like it.

      "Answers." He said. "You left a guy at an altar. That too, a man who owns so many companies like this," He says, looking around him. "Now, you are working here. That's pathetic."

      Something in me spiked when he said that. It makes me want to throw the coffee at him. But I held back. 

       "That's none of your business." I snapped. "Who the hell are you to judge me?" I yelled at him.

        He shrugged. "I am a spectator. It never occurred to you about the consequences of your doings. Did you ever consider the groom and his reputation? Forget about him? Did you ever consider your family or your siblings, the impact your escape from a marriage left behind on them?"

       "Enough," I said, raising my hand. "Enough. I don't know who you are. But you have no right to judge me and the decisions I made." 

       The weakness I have is I cry when I raise my voice. But I tried to keep those tears at bay. I can't look weak before this stranger.

       "Right." He said mockingly. "Are you on the run?" He asked me, eyeing me up and down. "That explains your cheap clothes and working a 9-5 job....."

        "Are you his friend?" I asked him, cutting his allegations.

       He removed his hands from his pockets and folded them across his chest. "Cousin." He answered.

      I nod my head in understanding. "Tell me, MR. Bash and whatever your last name is. Did Cillian's heart break because I left him at the altar? Did he feel suffocated when he found out that his bride run away?"

     He gave me a contempt laugh. "Why would a man like him break for a girl like you?" He asked me. Every word he said targeted to look down on me, and a part of me urged me to ignore that, and another part wants me to throw the coffee on his expensive shirt.

     "If my absenece doesn't make a difference in his life, what my presence can do? What kind of marriage it will be?"

      He opened his mouth to say something. But I walked away from him. May the consequences be damned. At this point of my life, I have nothing to lose.