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SEE MY SNOW BALLS
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2026-03-27 22:44:40
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According to his secretary BIG BROTHER
My lungs refuse to work as Fiona speaks with Crawford. It feels sticky inside, blood frozen in my veins. She must sense my guilt, so as she speaks in a shaky voice, she doesn’t look up at me. Still, it doesn’t ease the boulder that lodges itself in my chest. Crawford asks to speak with me and she finally turns to me, eyes full of regret, she shoots me a small, watery smile before handing me the phone. My hands are stiff. Tim walks to me, standing right next to me so I know he’s here, brows drawn, glare as hot as the sun directed at the phone. I find it’s easier to breathe with the realization that I’m not alone. Crawford doesn’t say anything, but his too steady breathing over the phone lets me know exactly what is going on, he’s angry in ways that he’s just inventing himself. Plus, the silence is to rattle me. I square my shoulders.This is war. We’ve been going at it since I was born, he’s always had the upper hand, this time though, I managed to one up him, and with that hand and
According to his secretary THE PLAN
CARSON BITTERS POV I threw up thrice before Robin said we should call the whole thing off, arguing that we’d try again with something less dehumanizing.“Don’t be stupid. This our only chance and you know it. We blow it and I’ll be chasing cold trails for the rest of my life. Those girls will never have a life in the meantime.” I had said, glaring at him from the floor of the toilet.I’d never seen him so rattled, for the first time in a long time, I saw that look in his eyes again. Like he pitied me. And I fucking hated it.“It’s us.”“What?”“We’ll be chasing cold trails for the rest of our lives. There hasn’t been a time we weren’t in this together. And there never will be.”My acidic mouth was left hanging for a while, his words sinking in slowly. It’s not the first time any of them mentioned it, but it hits a lot different when you’re literally at rock bottom where it seems going up is a distant dream. Scrubbing the back of my hand across my mouth
According to his secretary THE BEATEN
We go out to celebrate Lynn’s acceptance. The two of them say it’s not a big deal, and we have to wait for Carson anyway. They aren’t wrong, but I’m not putting anything before them again. I resented Natalia a lot, I don’t want Carson and I to suffer the same thing. This is something I want to protect and nurture in the best way possible. Plus, this is a small celebration.I invite the rest of our siblings for a bigger one. But that’ll happen when Carson gets back. He’s part of us now.Lynn will be out of Coldwater and leaving home for the first time. Her achievements deserve to be celebrated. At dinner, I get sucked into her excitement, and I wonder how she managed to keep it ‘lowkey’ as they called it. Glenn also looked happy for her, but I don’t miss the way he looked at her like he was memorizing her face, or the way he blinked back tears. It was heart achingly sweet and torture at once.They’ve never been separated before. It’ll be hard on him. The dinner is like old times, I
According to his secretary FOR HIM
Carson is nowhere to be found.Lynn made me talk about him while I ate, she was trying to make me eat, and it worked. I could talk about him for hours unend and still have things to say. I told them about our snowball fight– their faces fell when they heard I’d never done that before. With every word I said about him, I missed him greatly, but I was sure about one thing. There’s no life as usual for me after this.Falling in love with Carson was the turning point of my entire life, I never want to go back to the person I was without him. He’s gotten under my skin, made home in my heart, and mind, consumed my soul… I’m not sure I remember what it felt like without his incessant stories at the back of my mind, his smell, the feel of his skin… Goddammit. Where is he?Does he not feel the way I do?Can’t he tell that I miss him? That my lungs burn with longing for him… My phone rings, and I quickly swipe accept, keeping my eyes on the entrance to Robin’s building, in case he walks out
According to his secretary WHERE IS CARSON?
“Carson didn’t do anything wrong, he doesn’t even know Robin likes him like that.” I defend quickly, twisting in my seat to face him so he sees that what happened back there was entirely my fault.Glenn rolls his eyes at me,“You’re so in love with him, it’s gross.”I find myself smiling softly at that. This time it’s not because I think he’s efficient for my life, this time it’s because I was meant to love him.“If I wasn’t so excited for you, I’d gag over it.” Lynn laughs.It’s my turn to roll my eyes. And I start driving, the plan is to take them to their apartment, and then go back to Carson’s.“You haven’t eaten anything, have you?” Lynn asks from her place at the back seat.Food has been the last thing on my mind since last night. I’ve gotten very used to eating and sleeping with Carson that the thought of doing them on my own is not at all enticing. I don’t want to do either of them without him. “Take us with you, we’ll wait for him together.”I find her eyes in the rear view
According to his secretary FIST FIGHT
ASHER HALL’S POVThere’s no greater bullshitter I’ve known than Carson. I know his tells when he lies. His voice gets rougher, like forcing the lies out hurt him physically. I’ve been present every time he had to bullshit his way through his cases. He is very convincing, so convincing he had me fooled in the beginning. For the first few weeks, I was certain he was telling the truth. The arrogant, self assured-ness that rolled off him is enough to convince anyone. Then I knew the truth.I knew Carson.From then on it was impossible to believe his lies. I know he lied when he said those words. He couldn’t hide the way he choked on the words. It was an obvious tell.So why did it feel like my heart was torn from my chest? I left, only to give him space. Maybe I sprung it up on him. Maybe it was too much all at once for him. And so the only thing I could think of was to give him space. All the while leaving my heart right where it fell out of my chest as I con
According to his secretary SULTRY OUTFIT
“You’re his secretary, you already spend lots of alone time together.” Lynn leans against the kitchen doorway, arms folded, amusement written all over her face. “With all this alone time,” Glenn adds, his grin slow and knowing,“It must be disappointing you have nothing to show for it.”I turn to
According to his secretary BREAKFAST WITH FAMILY
The twins let out a sigh of some sort, and I couldn’t help but feel I disappointed them with my response. Blinking, not quite sure what to make of this situation. I’m saved when Asher announces that the food is ready, the twins let out celebration sounds, rushing to the kitchen immediately. His f
According to his secretary STOP THAT
“Relax old man.” A boy snorts, walking past the girl into the living room. I only have to look at them through squinted eyes to know exactly who they are.They have matching bleached hair with each other, but they share a similar nose and eyes, both of them obviously younger than I am.“I’m th
According to his secretary SHIRTLESS ASHER
Tears prickle the back of my eyes when I wake up pressed firmly against Asher’s chest. This used to be a dream, an impossibility, but it’s here, it’s real. I mean, we stayed up most of the night, curled into each other, talking about nothing, no single word about work, my father, or even his ex wi
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