Kabanata 06: Whose Love to Live By?

NANG marinig nito ang kalmadong tinig niya na parang wala lang ay parang sumikip ang dibdib ng binata.

“Why the suddenly throwing it away? You always kept that wedding dress so carefully," he pressed, a frown creasing his face.

Hindi ito itinanggi ni Celeste.

Sa nakalipas na tatlong taon, maingat niyang itinabi ang wedding dress sa walk-in closet. Taon-taon niya pa itong pinapalinis at pinapangalagaan. Pero ang dahilan kung bakit niya ito iningatan ay dahil naniniwala siyang isang beses lang ikinasal ang isang tao sa buong buhay niya. Kaya dapat natural lang na itabi ito bilang alaala.

Now they’re getting divorced. Who knows, Drake might marry his sweetheart soon, right?

Wala na ring silbe ang weddig dress na ito sa kanya. So, what’s the point of keeping it? Sisikip lamang ng kanyang dibdib sa tuwing makikita niya ito.

Pilit siyang ngumiti rito. “I just noticed a huge tear in it a few days ago.”

“Pero hindi mo pwedeng basta itapon.” Nang makita ni Drake ang pilit na ngiti niya, inakala nitong nahihirapan lang siyang pakawalan iyon. “Ganito na lang, ipapakuha ko sa wedding dress shop. Tingnan nila kung pwede pang ayusin—”

“Don’t bother,” pagpuputol niya rito. “May mga bagay na hindi na dapat pinipilit pang ayusin. Let’s be fine with that.”

She was not talking about the dress.

She was talking about her heart that’s been shattered by him into million pieces, and their broken marriage.

Tinalikuran niya ito na hindi hinihintay ang sagot ng binata at pumasok na sa loob.

Mukhang napansin ni Drake ang paika-ika niyang paglalakad. It was her wounds from kneeling for too long. Medyo sumasakit dahil hindi niya pa nalilinisan ang sugat na kanyang tinamo.

 “By the way, are you injured or something? Bakit ganyan ka maglakad?” Pansin niya ang curiosity sa tinig ng binata.

Bahagya niyang ibinaba ang tingin. She answered him truthfully, “Remember I went to Roswell’s family last night, right? Lumuhod ako sa ilalim ng ulan nang apat na oras.”

“What?!” Napahinto si Drake. Dumapo ang paningin ni sa kanyang namamagang palad. His eyes widened after seeing them. “Why are they like this too?”

Celeste blinked and replied, “They were beaten.”

Parang wala lang sa tono ng boses niya, ni katiting na reklamo wala.

Kumunot ang noo ni Drake. “Bakit ka naman luluhod nang ganoon katagal? At saka…”

He didn't dare to think any further.

Hindi ba’t halos parang tagapagmana si Celeste ng pamilya Roswell? How could she be injured like this after just one trip back?

Nag-angat ng tingin si Celeste, at saglit na bumalik sa isip niya kung gaano niya ginusto noon ang pakasalan si Drake. Talagang inasam niyang tumanda silang magkasama.

She remained silent for a while, suppressing the bitterness in her heart. Finally, under his persistent questioning, she smiled and said, “Because you didn't come home with me.”

Pinipigilan ni Drake ang kung anong inis na bumabangon sa dibdib niya. Gumalaw ang Adam’s apple nito. “Still smiling? Hindi?”

“Masakit.” Tumango si Celeste. “Pero nasanay na ako.”

“Nasanay?”

“Oo.” Bahagyang tiniklop ng dalaga ang kanyang palad. Her voice is just calm, like this thing didn’t bother her so much. “Kapag hindi ka sumasama sa ‘kin pabalik, lagi akong pinaparusahan.”

Sa totoo lang, hindi lang iyon.

Mula pagkabata hanggang paglaki, kapag may nagawa siyang ikinagalit ni Madam Linda, she would inevitably be punished. That area covered with pebbles was specially designed for her.

Wala pang isang taon mula nang ipadala siya sa pamilya Roswell, anim na taong gulang pa lang siya noon, natutunan na niyang lumuhod nang tama. Kneeling in a way that would satisfy the old lady. 　Her knees, calves, and insteps had to be in a straight line, perfectly fitting the pebbles.

Bahagyang yumuko si Drake at marahang inangat ang mahabang palda niya, at doon tumambad ang tuhod niyang namamaga, puno ng pasa. Pati ang binti niya, nangingitim at namumula.

Against her fair and delicate skin, the damage is very visible. Kung ikukumpara sa bahagyang pamumula ng tuhod ni Estella dalawang araw ang nakalipas ay walang-wala lang ‘yon.

His jaw clenched. He immediately scooped her in his arms, placing her carefully on the sofa. Kunot noo itong tinanong. “Bakit hindi mo man lang ako tinawagan noong pinaparusahan ka?”

Pantay ang kapangyarihan ng Monteverde Family at Roswell Family noong nakaraan. In recent years, after Hunter Roswell took over the Roswell family, his ruthless and decisive improvements widened the gap between the two families.

Hindi basta-basta pwedeng apihin si Celeste.

Her eyes were blank as she asked knowingly, “When you left, didn't you say you had urgent business to attend to? I thought it must be something important. Kaya hindi na kita inabala.”

NAPIPILAN ang binata

Sa isang iglap, naisip niyo kung ang kapalit ba ng pagpigil niya sa blind date ni Estella ay ang pagkakasugat ni Celeste nang ganito, pupunta pa kaya siya?

Hesitating, he looked up and met that obedient and gentle face. Drake can feel the tightness in his chest.

He took the first-aid kit, applied medicine to her wounds, and asked gently, “Why didn't you mention being beaten to me even once?”

Hindi umimik ang dalaga.

BECAUSE she genuinely wanted to be a good wife of the Monteverde family. At naniwala siyang magiging mabuting asawa si Drake. At sa paningin ng lahat, ang Roswell Family ay parang pamilya rin niya.

Sino bang nagsasabi sa asawa nila na masama ang trato ng sariling pamilya sa kanila? She wasn't that foolish, nor was she favored by her husband.

Matagal na niyang alam.

Hindi siya ganoon kamahal ni Drake… at hindi naman talaga siya nito minahal kahit kailan. And fortunately, she had never thought of relying on anyone's love to survive.

Inilapag ni Celeste ang kamay sa hita niya, marahang pinaglalaruan ang mga dulo ng daliri, at mahinang sumagot. “Ayokong idamay ka sa kung ano mang issue ang meron ako at ng mga Roswell. At isa pa, kailangan pa rin pamilya mo ang cooperation ng mga Roswell. Ayokong magkasira kayo kung ipaglalaban mo ako.”

She couldn't tell the truth. She could only make-up a story based on her true feelings.

Nang marinig iyon ni Drake, parang ay kung anong bumara sa lalamunan nito, feeling terribly indebted to her. Hindi porket malawak ang pang-unawa ng dalaga ay gagamitin nito ‘yon para saktan siya.

Huminga nang malalim si Drake, pinipigilan ang hindi mapakaling emosyon sa dibdib nito. He reached out and ruffled her hair, coaxing, "I'm sorry, I didn't do well this time. I even forgot to celebrate our wedding anniversary with you the other day. Is there anything you want, Celeste? Ibibigay ko.”

A house, a car, jewelry, bags—anything.

He was always generous in these matters.

“Hmm…” Nag-isip sandali si Celeste, tapos mahinang nagsalita, “Gusto ko ‘yung birthday gift ko sa’yo ay magustuhan mo.”

“Ganun lang kasimple?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

Noong bente anyos si Celeste, ang birthday wish niya ay mapangasawa si Drake.

Now that she turned twenty-four, ang birthday wish niya ay iwan si Drake… nang malinis, nang diretso, at wala nang balikan.

When her gaze met Drake’s sincere eyes, she felt a strange pang of guilt in her chest.

Naputol ang kanilang usapan nang biglang mag-ring ang phone nito. And it wasn’t from his business phone; it was from his personal phone.

Sumulyap si Celeste sa caller ID at hindi nakaligtas sa kanyang paningin ang pangalan ni Estella.

Sinagot ni Drake ang tawag. Bigla itong tumayo at tumigas ang ekspresyon habang nakikinig. “Gaano kalala? Bakit ‘di ka tumawag ng driver? Paano ka naman na-sprain bigla? Send me your location, I'll be right there.”

Binaba nito ang tawag at aalis na sana nang mapagtanto nitong hindi pa ito tapos gamutin ang sugat ni Celeste. The cotton swab in his hand is still wet with medicine, which made him hesitate for a moment.

Kinuha ng dalaga ang swab, at tipid na ngumiti rito. “Kaya ko na ‘to. Go ahead and do what you need to do.”

Sabi nila, ang umiingay ang siyang unang napapansin.

Pero iba ang buhay ni Celeste. Sa kanya, ang pag-iyak at pag-iingay ay hindi nagbibigay ng lambing, kundi sampal at palo.

Pero naisip niya, darating ang araw…makakabili na rin siya ng kendi.

Marami, marami, maraming kendi.

“Sige.” Drake heaved a deep breath and added, “Nasugatan si Este. Hindi siya makagalaw nang maayos, lalo na’t may kasama pa siyang bata. Pupuntahan ko muna.”

Pagkatapos no’n, mabilis ito lumakad palabas.

Pinanood niya ito. Ngunit hindi niya inaasahang masambit ang tanong na sumagi sa kanyang isipan.

“Drake, why do you keep calling her Este?”