Chapter 1

Vera

Three years later

“I don’t know, Ami…” I trailed off.

“Why not? Give me a reason why? Is there a reason you don’t want to? Aren’t you angry?” Ami asked.

Of course, I was angry, but Ami was even angrier in my stead. Ami is my best friend and has been since we both went to Alpha’s Academy. She was a hybrid mix of werewolf and vampire. The two conflicting halves were constantly at war with each other, and she suffered from it. We had been apart for years, but we were just as close as we had been when we were young. Seeing someone every day didn’t define a friendship. She was closer to me than all nine of my siblings. Sometimes blood wasn’t thicker than water.

“Why are you still worried about him? After everything he’s done, he doesn’t deserve any of your thoughts!” Ami yelled through the phone.

My ear was ringing, but my best friend was right. She had told me time and time again to leave him, but I never did. I stayed with him, and for what? I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t. I don’t think I remembered how.

I didn’t like to dwell on it. I didn’t like to think about what had happened. It was all in the past. All I could do was get used to how my life was now. I knew I needed to do this, to get out more, but it made me nervous. It still didn’t feel right. I wasn’t smart enough to lie to myself yet. My heart was still loyal to him. It had no business doing that, but it wasn’t easily persuaded, and it wouldn’t listen to me or look at the facts.

“It’s been eight months, Vera. You need to jump back into it. You’re still stuck on him. The best way to get over someone is to get underneath someone else. Look at him, he didn’t even wait until the two of you were over—”

“Ami,” I warned.

“What? I’m being real with you. I won’t lie to you, and I won’t sugarcoat shit. It’s only fair that you be with someone else. Don’t think about him, don’t think about his feelings. Goddess, think about yourself for once. It doesn’t hurt to go out there and have a good time. Don’t you think you deserve to have a good time?” Ami asked.

“Yes… I know,” I said.

“See? So go out there, meet a handsome guy or two… or three and have some fun,” Ami said.

It’s not that easy. I was with him for almost six years. I knew there was nothing wrong with being with other people now. We weren’t together anymore, but it didn’t work that way. I felt sick, and my heart missed him. It screamed that I was doing something wrong every time I swiped right. Just lingering on a guy’s picture, to look at his face, made me feel guilty.

It wasn’t fair.

I shouldn’t be feeling guilty.

I did nothing wrong.

He’s the one who fucked up.

He’s the one who…

Stop.

“… so go and enjoy some dick,” she said when I tuned back into the conversation.

“I’ve got to go. Pack Meeting starts soon, and I need to clean up for it,” I said.

“Why would you need to do that?” Ami said.

“Don’t start with that. You already know how things are here,” I said.

“I love your mom, but she’s wrong for that,” Ami said.

“I know,” I sighed.

My mother was the Luna of the Falling Star pack, and she ran a tight ship and an even tighter household. We lived in a full packhouse, and most of my siblings still resided there. As the youngest girl, I was expected to clean and cook for them. Servants had been done away with a long time ago. Since I would never amount to anything, I had to make sure everything was in order before even thinking about leaving the house.

“Love you. Keep me updated,” Ami said.

“Love you too. Don’t get too drunk this weekend,” I said.

“I promise not to get wasted if you promise to get laid,” Ami teased.

“No promises,” I said, a small smile pulled at the corner of my lip.

“At least try,” Ami said.

“Try,” I said.

“Try,” she agreed.

Then she was gone. I sighed as I pushed the phone into my back pocket and grabbed a hoodie. I didn’t check myself in the mirror. I hated looking at myself. I never looked at my reflection anymore. My phone pinged, and I didn’t need to look to know it was my mom sending me a list of things she needed done. I rushed out of my room and made my way downstairs.

I started in the sitting room first. I picked everything up from the floor, vacuumed, and fluffed the pillows. I threw the throw over the side of the sectional. Right now, I was talking to three guys on Mythinder. The three of them were interested in me first, and they started talking to me. It was nice having someone message me to see how I was doing. Meeting up was another thing.

There was James, Edward, and Dane. I was stingy with matching. Three completely different guys. I swiped right on James because he looked put together and had kind eyes. His profile said he was a low-ranked Warrior. I didn’t want to meet anyone who might know who I am or want to get close to me because of my mother.

I swiped right on Edward because he was what I used to like: Korean, tall, muscular. He liked the same foods I liked, and he wasn’t a Warrior. He was a member of a pack far from mine. I didn’t think I’d meet up with him, but if he put in the effort to come see me, I’d make time for him.

Then there was Dane. Goddess, just his name had me clenching my thighs together. He was a high risk, but I swiped right on Dane because he was everything I had ever wanted, fantasy-wise. And if I ever met up with him, that’s all it would ever be: a fantasy. When I picked a book off of my TBR shelf to read the dirtiest, smuttiest, violent-filled dark romance novel, I pictured a man like Dane.

Yeah, he’s my favorite too.

That’s enough, Cleo.

Don’t get pissy with me. You thought about him first.

I didn’t invite you to join in.

That’s the great thing about wolves, we don’t need an invite.

I am not going to talk about anyone with you.

You don’t need to. I see it all. And Dane?

Please, Cleo. Just… stay out of it, please.

… Fine.