This can't be real

Amaris

"Now, if everyone would turn to page 253 of their texts, we will begin,” our teacher says, trying to gain our attention over all of the noise of students chattering. Instead of paying attention, I lay my head on my desk, not caring in the least about this class, or school altogether. I'm only here so that I can finish my education, get my diploma and leave this godforsaken town and these godforsaken people.

I begin to feel itchy, achy, and restless again. It's a feeling that has been happening off and on since I'd first woken up this morning and is one that I don't understand. It's like my skin is crawling and my entire body feels like I've been run over by a MACK truck, and I'm So. Damn. Tired. Maybe I'm coming down with the flu. Outside of the itchy, restless feeling, which is the closest thing that I can think of to describe this feeling.

I hear the door to the classroom swing open, and a shiver racks my entire body, the scent of sandalwood, earth, and something else that I can't describe hitting me. Curling my hands into fists, my mouth begins to water, and not as if I'm going to vomit. Instead, my whole body turns heated, turned on at the mere scent of the person who entered the room.

What the hell is wrong with me, I can't help but wonder at my reaction to the person who just entered.

"Ah, Mr. Clearwater, how nice of you to join us today," Mr. Ramirez says as the intruder begins walking towards his seat. 

Instead of going to where he usually sits, I listen as his footsteps move in my direction, continuing towards me until he stops next to my desk. I hear what sounds like sniffing before he makes a deep, low noise—one that I've never heard from another person before. I'm almost positive that he growled, just before the word "Mate!" quietly hits my ears.

Confused, I glance up at Kenton, towering over me, a look of longing in his leaf green eyes. "What?" I mutter, the feeling that I'm about to crawl out of my own skin returning, only this time it's so much worse than before. My breathing picks up, and an excruciating pain radiates throughout my whole body, causing me to release an ear-shattering scream.

"Oh, shit!" Kenton growls then bends down, pulls me from my desk, and rushes towards the classroom door. 

The agony ripping through my body has me not thinking straight or remembering that this is the man that quite possibly walked out on my brother when he needed his help.

"Where do you think you are taking her, Mr. Clearwater?" Mr. Ramirez shouts, but the feeling of my bones shattering dulls out the sound of his shrill voice as I continue to scream, tears streaking down my face as Kenton ignores him. 

Picking up his pace, he rushes us down the hallway, and soon we're exiting the building, heading toward a wooded area behind the school grounds.

"What is happening to me?" I cry, then another surge of pain hits me, my spine feeling like it's breaking, "ahhh, fuck!” 

"You're shifting and I know it hurts, baby. But, I'm going to help you through it," Kenton says, stopping once we're deeper into the forest. He kneels down, gently placing me against the base of a tree then sits down next to me and pulls me into his lap, wraps his arms around my body, and rubs his hands up and down my back, trying to soothe the pain as it rips through me.

I have no idea how long we sit there as my body breaks and then begins to feel as though it's coming back together again. My skin crawls once again and then, just as quickly as it all started, it stops. 

Kenton is looking down at me, a smile gracing his beautiful lips as he raises his hand and then begins to pet me?

"You are absolutely stunning, Amaris," he says, stroking his hand along the top of my head. It feels amazing, so good that a strange growling type sound comes from my throat. I'm so embarrassed that I back up off of his lap, putting some distance between Kenton and me.

"It's okay, see..." he says, and then suddenly, where Kenton was standing just moments ago is a large black wolf with gorgeous bright green eyes. The same eyes that Kenton was just looking at me with.

What the—no...there's no freaking way.

I've read books about people turning into werewolves—shifters, they're called, but they're just works of fiction. This can't be real...I can't be a...

The wolf slowly takes a step towards me, a low whimpering noise coming from him. Completely freaked out, I take a step back only to bump into a tree behind me and let out a yelp of surprise. The large black wolf rushes over to me, nuzzling me with his snout as if he's trying to simultaneously make sure that I'm okay as well as try to reassure me that everything is okay. After a few moments, he whimpers again and then begins licking my face.

God, that feels good, I think, and then instinctually, I begin licking him back, the moment oddly intimate.

What am I doing? I question, coming to my senses.

Watching the black wolf carefully, not sure what to think about any of this, I shake my head, backing away once more, moving around the tree this time.

The wolf takes a step towards me, more low whimpers coming from him.

'Mate', a quiet voice says in my mind.

What the—?

Completely freaked out, I turn and run, the forest blurring past me as I run faster than I ever have before.

The sound of the black wolf chasing after me spurs me on, fear and confusion consuming me.

'Mate! He's our mate, don't leave him!' The voice shouts this time, then a feeling as if I'm being shoved out of the way hits me. Internally I struggle with whatever is trying to take over me, continuing to run faster and faster, not paying any mind to where I'm going.

'What is going on? Who are you and why are you in my head?' I think, needing answers about what the hell is happening to me.

'I'm your wolf. I'm you, only another part of you', the voice says calmly. 'Stop running away from our mate.'

'Mate?' I question, 'What does that even mean?'

'He is ours, fated to us by the Moon Goddess. He is our other half, and we are his,' the voice explains.

This makes no sense! How is this even possible? I'm human and I'm hearing voices in my head—Oh God! I'm schitzo, aren't I? That has to be it, I think, finally coming to a stop at a stream running through the thick forest floor.

The image of a white wolf reflects back at me, where my reflection should be.

This can't be real, I think, completely in denial of what is right in front of me.

'It is very real, Amaris. You, we, are a wolf.'

I look around, taking in the dense forest, the tall trees, the damp soil, and the sound of wildlife, it feels so normal. Like home for what feels like the very first time. 

As I continue listening, I realize that I no longer hear the sound of footsteps chasing after me.

The realization causes an odd pang of longing to hit me, a pain unfurling in my chest, around my heart.

'Who is he?' I ask the voice in my head, wholly confused and unbelieving of what I witnessed—one moment Kenton was there, then the next, the black wolf was.

'He is ours', my wolf says gently, 'You remember correctly. The boy, he is ours,' she continues as I shake my head in disbelief.

This cannot be, it's not possible, I'm thoroughly in denial, there is no way. It's just not possible.

But then, why does it feel so right?