!!Trigger Warning!!
The following Prologue Contains acts of sexual violence, self-harm, and assault. Reader discretion is strongly advised.
Skip to Chapter One if being triggered is a possibility.
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Prologue
It's my eighteenth birthday and instead of celebrating, I'm standing alone in the pouring rain, shivers racking my body as I watch the casket being lowered down into the ground, my heart shattering as I say goodbye to the only person that I have ever been able to rely on in my whole life. Where do I go from here? Is this my life? Destined to be alone forever?My brother, Axel, and I grew up bouncing around foster homes, one after another. No one ever wanted us, at least that was how it always seemed. We almost had a family once. The Montgomery's had told us they wanted to adopt us. God, we were so excited. We were finally going to have a family. A place to call home. But then a few days later, all of our dreams went to shit when we came home to our bags packed and a social worker standing on the front porch, waiting for our return from school so that she could take us away.Away from the people who were supposed to give us a family.I don't know why they changed their minds. I've always felt as if I were...I don't even know how to put it into words...it was as if I didn't belong... Some of the places that we lived in were pretty nice. Nice as in the paint wasn't peeling from the walls and we didn't hear the sounds of rats scurrying across the floor throughout the night. Others may have not been dumps, but honestly, I would have rather been in a dump or even on the streets than have to stay in those places. And then there were the people themselves. Some of our foster dads, although they never tried anything, the way they watched me, always made me uncomfortable and if I said anything about it, no one ever believed me. But Axel always did.Because, although they never touched me—fuck, Axel, he...he had it so much worse because they did touch him. The things that they did to him...it turns my stomach, making me feel sick just to think about it. They were depraved, sick, and utterly disgusting.And it fucked him up really bad.And it only got worse as we got older. Not only did he receive abuse at home, but then he started to be abused at school, too. The boys began teasing him, looking down on him, finding him being gay a reason to treat him like scum.But things escalated quickly. Someone even raped him in the boys' locker room with the end of a hockey stick.A fucking hockey stick.And that had been his final straw.That is what made him take his own life.That is what made him leave me.I'd found his note on his desk when I went looking for him. After seeing the words, “Goodbye, Amaris. I'm sorry...” the letter fell from my fingertips as I looked around his room, searching for any sign of where he could be.That's when I heard the sound of a gunshot ring out from the backyard. When I took off out of his room and down the stairs, I already knew what I was going to find but I still pushed the backdoor open, stopping when I saw him lying on the ground, a handgun a few feet away from him.The next morning, after spending the night down at the police station, answering as many of their questions as I was able to, I dragged myself back up the stairs, entering his room instead of my own, stopping when I saw his letter laying on the floor where I'd dropped it.Bending over and reaching out, I picked it up with a shaky hand. Curling up in his bed, I read the note that he had left for me.He told me goodbye, explaining everything that had happened to him. It broke my heart as I read about all of the things that he'd kept locked inside, not having told a soul about the extent of the abuse that he'd suffered both at home and at the hands of our peers.As I read the letter, over and over again, tears streamed down my cheeks, my breathing becoming choked as I gasped, sobbing.Axel wrote about the locker room incident, about the group of boys who'd taken turns holding him down and raping him with the end of a hockey stick. Another student walked in, saw what was happening, and turned back around, leaving the bathroom, not bothering to stop the abuse. The student acted as though he'd not heard Axel as he'd cried out for help. As he'd cried out for them to stop. Over and over again, he'd cried out for help, but help never came. At the end of the letter, he told me to seek out the captain of the hockey team. Which didn't make any sense.Kenton Clearwater is the captain of the hockey team—unless the cocky hockey player is the student that had walked into the bathroom and hadn't helped him.If that is the case then Kenton had failed him by walking away when he needed him the most.I had failed him by not knowing what he had been going through.The teachers at school had failed him by not seeing the signs of abuse.Our peers had failed him by being the ones that would torture him.Our foster father had failed him by being the one who was responsible for the abuse.And our foster mother had failed him by turning a blind eye to what was happening, all so they could continue to collect a check from the state each month.He'd been failed, over and over again, and there is nothing that anyone can do to change it or take it back.He was gone. He'd given in to the only choice that he felt that he'd had. And now, here I am.All alone.Amaris"Now, if everyone would turn to page 253 of their texts, we will begin,” our teacher says, trying to gain our attention over all of the noise of students chattering. Instead of paying attention, I lay my head on my desk, not caring in the least about this class, or school altogether. I'm only here so that I can finish my education, get my diploma and leave this godforsaken town and these godforsaken people.I begin to feel itchy, achy, and restless again. It's a feeling that has been happening off and on since I'd first woken up this morning and is one that I don't understand. It's like my skin is crawling and my entire body feels like I've been run over by a MACK truck, and I'm So. Damn. Tired. Maybe I'm coming down with the flu. Outside of the itchy, restless feeling, which is the closest thing that I can think of to describe this feeling.I hear the door to the classroom swing open, and a shiver racks my entire body, the scent of sandalwood, earth, and something else that I
KentonI sit back and watch her from a distance as she stays by the creek, likely trying to work through this new revelation.I want to be there, desperately, to help her figure all of this out. But, she clearly needs to do this on her own.'I don't like this,' my wolf grumbles, wanting more than anything to go to our mate, to help her—to be close to her now that we've found her. He's desperate to be with her.How had she been right in front of my face this whole time and I not have any idea? I question, She's gone to the same school as me for the last six months, and not once did I get any indication that she was mine. Did she just recently turn eighteen?'I don't like it either, but from her reaction, she didn't know that she had been anything other than human. She needs time,' I tell him, hoping to placate him.'She's beautiful,' he says, admiring his mate. I'm surprised that she's a white wolf—they're incredibly rare—basically unheard of. Not to mention, typically our wolf's coat
Amaris When I wake next to the creek, darkness has taken over the forest save for the moon peeking through the treetops. Getting to my feet, I decide that I should probably try to find my way back to town. Although, it will likely prove difficult since I'm not familiar with these woods.'I got you,' the voice in my head says.'How?' I ask, curious.'Give me control and I can scent our way back,' she tells me as I begin walking away from the creek.Not far from where I had lain, hidden by a bush, I stumble across the black wolf who had been chasing me earlier. He'd been watching me.The thought makes me uncomfortable since I hadn't picked up on his presence, but my wolf speaks up, bringing me some comfort.'He means us no harm, and if he had, he would have taken us having been asleep to his advantage.''But how can you be sure?' I ask as I give the wolf a wide berth, walking as quietly as a field mouse, determined to not wake him.'Because he is ours, as I already told you,' she says
Kenton'Everything go okay with the she-wolf?' My best friend and future beta, Asher asks through the mind link as soon as I've dressed and fall into the driver's seat of my car.'Yeah.''That was crazy. I can't believe she almost wolfed out right in the middle of class,' he says, laughing likely at the memory. 'Did you know? I wonder which pack she belongs to.''No, I didn't,' I tell him as I put the car in gear and begin pulling from the lot, heading toward our pack lands. 'And I don't know that she has a pack. I got the impression that she didn't even know that she was a wolf.''What?' He asks, shouting through the link. 'What are you going to do about her?'Sighing, I run my hands through my hair, 'I've got to talk to my dad.''Woah, man,' he says, sounding surprised. 'You're going to the alpha?''I have to,' I tell him as I turn down an all too familiar gravel road.'What? Why?' He asks, 'Why not find out more about her first?''Because...,' I say, hesitating to say the next part
AmarisI stay back in the far recess of my mind, trying to come to grips with being a wolf, while she enjoys running through the forest, loving the feel of the wind whipping through her fur, splashing through the shallow streams of water, and enjoying her freedom.My wolf.I am a wolf.I've always felt out of place like I've never belonged anywhere. But, I always assumed it was due to Axel and I being orphans, not because we were fricking shapeshifters.I figured with my high, prominent cheekbones, nearly black hair, and naturally tanned skin, that I was of Native American descent, belonging to a tribe somewhere.And I guess in a way, I do. A fricking werewolf tribe—pack. They're called packs, not tribes.But do I? That would mean that I have an Alpha, but I don't. If I did, I would have known what I was, right?The sound of howls off in the distance breaks me from my inner monologue—and makes her still, ears perked, assessing if there is a threat nearby.The howls become closer with
KentonI turn to look at Amaris, thrilled and full-on excited as Dad announces our pack. But, the look in her eyes and the frown turning down her full, plump lips causes my stomach to turn and the smile to fall from my face.Why is she so mad? I wonder, dread filling me as she pulls away and takes a step back."Amaris—" I begin, reaching out for her, but she shakes her head as she takes another step away from me, putting even more distance between us."No..." she whispers. Panic, dread, and a dozen other emotions wash across her face before she takes off running. Mid step, she shifts—way too smoothly for a new wolf—and then leaps across the chasm that she created in the earth to keep the rogues at bay."How did she...?" I begin to say as she lands on the other side, then continues running as fast as her wolf's legs will take her."Son?" Dad says, watching her as well."She doesn't want me?" I whisper the words as hurt and anger war inside of me."I'm sorry. Maybe, it was too soon. Too
Kenton'Dad, where are you?' I ask through the link as soon as hockey practice is over.'In a meeting. Is everything okay?''Yeah, please let me know when you're done,' I tell him as I step beneath the spray of water. After my shower, I meet Asher and the others outside of the locker room. We all head to our respective vehicles and begin heading back towards the crowded house.'Dad?' I ask once I've made it into the pack house.'In my office,' he replies immediately. Turning, I make a left and head up the stairs to the second floor, stopping in the doorway of the office, and taking in my dad. My Alpha.His desk is cluttered, covered in stacks of papers and books. I move my attention from the desk to the man seated at it, taking in his appearance. His hair is mussed like he's been running his fingers through the thick locks in frustration or irritation. His face still looks relatively young, but there are circles beneath his eyes, exhaustion marring his features. "Is everything okay?
Amaris I ran and ran, staying in wolf form and putting as much distance between myself and Kenton as possible. My wolf is angry at me, not wanting to be away from her mate at all. And here, I am, wanting to be on a completely different continent than the one that he's currently on.I run for the majority of the night, noting how much sharper my eyesight is now that I have my wolf, compared to how it was before my shift. Before, I was practically night blind. And now, I can see just as well as if it were broad daylight out, I think, peeking through her eyes as we slink through the next town over. The cover of darkness, thankfully, keeps me hidden from any of the townspeople.The neighborhood dogs barking unnerves me, making me afraid that they will cause their owners to come out and see what is causing all the fuss. I make my way through the last part of the town, constantly looking over my shoulder, pausing at every vehicle that creeps down the road, and hoping to get back to the c