4

I keep looking at my wall clock and buried my face on the pillow, trying to calm my ass at pinipilit na huwag lumabas ng bahay sa kalagitnaan ng hating gabi.

I want to have some night drive now at para na rin makalanghap ng sariwang hangin, maaga ang pasok ko bukas, but this is making me feel insane. Tapos na ako mag review at ayusin ang mga requirements ko, the exam is not making me feel insane, it was Samuel.

He is like a drugs on me, pakiramdaman ko ay mababaliw ako sa pinaranas n'ya sa akin, my body want to feel that sensation again, and it's so hard for me. I can't feel the same pleasure now, dati rati ay ayos na ang mag-solo sa akin, now it's different.

Naninibago ako and I also want to see him and talk with him, I hope he also feel the samw way as me. Because if he didn't then I will do something.

Tumayo ako at kinuha ang cardigan ko, kinuha ang susi ng kotse, phone and my wallet. Dahan dahang lumabas sa kwarto and everyone is sleeping now.

Lumabas ako at insitart ang kotse, bumukas ang gate ng makita ako ng guard at tuluyan na akong nag-drive. Maybe I really need to sneak out and think more.

Ayoko naman na para akong mababaliw sa kuwarto ko. Gusto ko makapag isip, malayo sa pamilya ko at ayoko sa mag-isip ng hindi maganda para sa akin, Febi is not good for my health too. I need to calm my ass, and plan it well, before striking.

I gotta be careful, kung gusto ko na maexpose si Feline, then I need to calm my self now. Think of happy moments and then maybe I can plan it well.

Lumampas ako sa syudad at nasa madilim na kalsada ako papunta sa Tagaytay. I look at my phone and Samuel is calling me now, nag-panic ako at tinabi ang kotse. I answered his call now.

"Hi, how are you?" I said and trying to relax my self now, my voice is kinda shaky, damn. His effect to me is so damn bad, napaka lakas ng epekto kahit tinig n'ya lang ang narinig ko.

"I can't sleep, I am actually planning to take you out now and let's have a night drive, eat something and oh god, a mini date, is that alright to you." I bite my lips when Samuel said that.

I smile like an idiot and rest my back on thw chair, tangina para akong tanga na nakangiti ngayon. "Yes, I am actually thinking the same way. Kaso nag aalala ako, baka tulog ka na." I said while smiling and wait for what Samuel gonna say now.

"Let's meet at the nearest convenient store at your house, sunduin kita ron." I pull over at bumalik sa syudad, sumanggayon sa kagustuhan ni Samuel habang may malaking ngiti sa labi ko. Damn this man, I am smiling and acting like a teenager now.

"I'll wait for you," anas ko bago binaba ang tawag at halos mapunit ang labi ko. It feels like I win now, the way I smiled is confusing me. Ano ba ito, ibang klase ang nadarama ko sa tuwing naalala ko kung ano ang nangyare noong nakaraan.

I know that it's not that big deal, it's just a hot encounter. Pero ayokong magsinungaling sa kung ano ang nararamdaman ko ngayon, and it's so fascinating.

I drove faster, sobra akong excited at ng nasa di na ako kalayuan, nakita ko ang kotse ni Samuel, he is there, nakatayo sa gilid ng kotse n'ya at nanigarilyo roon.

Pinarada ko ang kotse na dala ko at ngiti ang bumungad kay Samuel ngayon, he went to my direction and act to kiss me, pero mabilis akong nakaiwas at kinuha ang sigarilyo sa kamay n'ya at kinindatan ito.

"Easy lover boy," I said and blow the smoke to his face. Instead of kissing me, he just buried his face on my shoulder. "I just miss you so bad," he said at natawa ako. I felt the same kahit na nagkita na kami kanina sa campus.

Well, he start showing some interest to me after that day he eat me raw. I am not against it, but he just kiss me and hug me, wala na nalampas sa kissing and hugging boundaries.

He is such a nice and taking care of me, kaya nakakatuwa at ibang iba ang trato n'ya sa akin at sa mga naging babae n'ya sa campus.

"I missed your scent, you're hunting me and I just can't stop thinking about you, sorry if I called you this late." Lumayo ito ng bahagya at inabot ko ang sigarilyo sa kanya.

He just show his sincere eyes at ginulo ko ang buhok ni Samuel. "I also have a night escaped by my self, but when you called me, I called my plan and realized that it's so lonely kung kakain akong mag-isa." I looked to his eyes and Samuel look away, tumalikod at nakita ko ang pamumula ng batok n'ya.

"Alright, let's go and grab something to eat." Lumakad ako papasok sa convenient store, nakasunod si Samuel sa akin at nakatingin sa amin ang nag babantay, nakangiti ako at tinuro ang beer, tinuro ko ang alak sa cashier at tumango ito ngayon.

Habang nakikipag usap ito sa cashier ay walang nakatingin, I snatch some chewing gum at binulsa. Ang dala ko ang beer at ang lakas ng kabog ng d****b ko. Nag bayad si Samuel at lumabas kami.

"Bilisan mo," I said habang papasok sa kotse ni Samuel. "Huh?" Samuel said with confusion in his face. 

"Just drive now," saad ko muli at pinaharurot ang sasakyan, binuksan ko ang beer na binili n'ya at nilabas ang chewing gum na kinuha ko ng walang bayad, natulala ito sa hawak ko at napailing. "You're a bad girl." Samuel said while laughing, inabot ko ang beer sa kanya at sabay kami tumawa. 

The adrenaline is making me feel powerful, hindi ako makapaniwala na nagawa ko mag shop lift at kasama ko si Samuel. "Don't worry hindi naman ako mahuhuli," I said at binuksan ang bintana at hinayaan na madama ang lamig ng hangin sa katawan ko.

"And that is my first time, I want to experience my first time with you. Either it was a bad or good thing," I said and Samuel keep his eyes on me.

"Me too, I want to be with you, all the time." Samuel slowly touched my hand and intertwined it. Sa kabilang kamay ko naman ay andoon ang alak, mabilis kaming nakadaan sa express way, papunta sa Tagaytay. 

"I am really planning to eat some bulalo lately, kakatapos ko lang din mag-review since tomorrow is my exam day." I look at Samuel and he is focused on driving his car.

Kabatch ni Ate si Samuel, and he ia graduating now. He is taking business administration and I heard that his parents own a various hotel and restaurants in Philippines, nagsimula sila talaga sa Paris. May isang restaurant at hotel sila. Unti his father came here in Philippines noong pinag bubuntis na s'ya ng Mama n'ya and the business start blooming.

Italian ang magulang n'ya, but they chose to stay here in Philippines, dahil sa business at mas masaya sila rito, they adapt what a typical Filipino do in every day of their lives.

"You know that being a bad boy is my defense mechanism," Samuel said at napukaw n'ya ang atensyon ko, bumagal na ang takbo namin dahil papasok na kami sa Tagaytay ngayon at nalampasan na namin ang express way.

"I really don't want to be a golden boy like what other see me. Alam ko na kapag mabait ako, gagamitin ako ng tao, and people who see my bad side and stayed, deserve my best." Samuel looked at me and show his panty dropping smile.

"All women want to be with me not because of who I am, just because they want my money and to use me." Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kamay ni Samuel at ngumiti.

I felt bad for him, napakalungkot nga na ginagamit ka ng tao. That is also one of my reason why I am acting like a bitch or maybe this is really who I am.

"Dati ay nagkaroon ako ng kaibigan, I thought she is nice and syempre I am being a nice friend, so I treat her." I smile weakly at sumandal, inalis ang pag hahawak kamay namin at bukasan ang vodka na binili ni Samuel.

"Until I saw her, kumuha ng pera sa wallet ko after I brought her some stuffs, kapag nag shopping ako ay kasama s'ya and what I buy ay mayroon s'ya." Lumagok ako at tumingin kay Samuel.

"And now, kaibigan na nila si Feline." Natulala ng saglit si Samuel at parang hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi ko. "It's funny, kasi mas anak ang trato ng magulang ko sa anak ng maid, and that is suffocating me." Lumagok ako muli at nag-umpisa na akong malungkot, sumikip ang d****b at naiiyak.

I'm trying my best to hold my tears, dapat masaya kami at hindi ganito na mag-drama ako. "But I am actually used into that set up, kapag kaya ko na sarili ko, hindi ko na kailangan na humingi ng atensyon sa taong hindi intersado sa akin." Tumingil na kami sa parking lot at pinatay ni Samuel ang makina.

"No wonder why most of men in campus are scared to approach you." Samuel get my hand and kissed it slowly. "You have strong personality, and weak man scared of strong woman." He placed my hand on his cheeks and close his eyes.

"I love the warmth of your hand," Samuel said at hindi ako nakilos sa kinauupuan ko. Tumagal kami ng isang minuti bago dinilat ni Samuel ang mga mata n'ya, napasin na nilalamig ako kahit na may cardigan ako.

Hinubad nito ang hoodie n'ya at inabot sa akin. "Wear this one, parang nakayakap ako sa'yo kapag suot mo yan," he said and show his dashing smile, para s'ya model ng toothpaste brand sa ganda ng ngipin nito.

Marahan ko na tinaggap at sinuot, iniwan sa kotse ang cardigan at bumagay naman sa shorts ko ang hoodie na lampas pa talaga sa shorts ko.

Pinag buksan ako ng pinto at magkahawak kamay kaming lumakad papasok sa bulaluhan. Wala gaano tao at may iilan na nakatingin sa amin.

I took a picture of him, habang hawak ang kamay ko, nag boomerang sa I* at naupo kami.

"Ano po order," tanong sa amin ng waiter at tinuro ko kay Samuel ang gusto ko kainin. Alas tres na ng madaling araw, mamayang alas nueve pa naman ang pasok ko sa campus at makakaidlip pa ako.

"Anong oras ang pasok mo ngayon?" I asked at saka ko na lang na-realize na nakatitig si Samuel sa akin, at saka s'ya natauhan ng magsalita ako.

I look away and feel that my face is hot now, namumula ba ako dahil sa hiya. Kinapa ko agad ang mata ko at baka may muta ako.

"Eleven pa ako mamaya, how about you?" Samuel looks thorned now, kaya hinawakan ko ang kamay nito at tumingin na sa akin, his nose is red and his forehead. "Tinamaan ka ba ng alak, we can check out some room if you can't drive. I can drive too," saad ko at nilapag ang order namin.

"No baby, I can drive. Malamig lang talaga and oh damn it," he hissed at lumapit sa akin, tumabi ito at dahan dahang gumapang ang kamay sa balakang ko, dinikit ako sa kanya at h******n ang ulo ko.

"You're so gorgeous, and I badly want to hug you." Nakapatong ang ulo n'ya sa ulo ko habang inaantay namin na lumamig ng konti ng bulalo dahil umuusok ito sa init.

"Nilalamig ka lang ata," I said and he took out his phone, nasa lamesa ang susi ng kotse n'ya at natulala ako ng makita ang itsura namin sa phone.

He look so clingy at the other people are looking at me and Samuel. "Say hotdog, Amelia." Kumunot ang noo ko at tumingala.

"What the heck, bakit hotdog?"