PROLOGUE

Time.

A proverb once said that time heals all wounds no matter how deep they could be. Little did they know that time merely softens the pain and blurs the memories? Time could sometimes feel so short--- that's when we're making the most out of its seconds. Sometimes it feels so long--- that's when every second counts to a phase where we struggle. It extends to people, love and opportunities, so all we should be doing is try our best to keep what makes us the happiest, but learn to let go when something's too unbearable.

Time. One word that speaks a million of stories. They said if a story faded away by sunlight, it becomes a history. If it's lit by moonlight, it becomes a legend.

If only we could go back in time, will you choose to take away those hours of pain and darkness?

Because I will. It's a good lesson to learn, but I would still prefer going back to make it right, replace all the bad with something better.

Time brings us either regrets or lessons in life.

And I guess, I'm on the first consequence. I regret the decisions I've made that ended up as my mistakes.

A tiny and soft pair of hands wrapped around the edge of my fingers which snapped me back to the reality. Her head lifted, making her back bend a bit while blowing her lips to make a pout.

Such a cute little princess.

"Mamwi, Ellie doesh not want shchool." She stated while tears began to pool in her eyes.

Her pleading soft voice with her watery eyes made me feel guilty for my daughter. At her age, she should be playing at home with her stuffed toys and dollhouse, but I have decided to enroll her in nursery school so she would learn to socialize with kids in her age. Even if it is against the will of my heart, I decided to do what would be best for her. I bent my knees to level my daughter's face while flashing a small smile to assure her.

"Baby, look at the kids around you. 'Di ba sabi mo kay mommy last time you want to have many playmates?" I uttered in the softest tone I can with the hopes to encourage her to at least give it a try.

"Will they be good to me?" She sniffed while her tiny hands reached for my neck. Niyakap ko siya habang maingat na pinupunasan ang luha niyang tumutulo sa mapupula niyang pisngi.

I should not be laughing at this point, but I am torn between finding my daughter adorable and feeling bad that she’s crying.

Leaving my daughter with no choice but to agree to people around her is the least thing I want for her. When I delivered her to this world, all my dreams faded and the only one left in me was my hopes to be the best mother for my daughter. She can never choose a mother for herself, so I want to make myself the mother she can always be grateful for having.

Instead of forcing her to agree with me, I have decided to always encourage her with each of my decisions so she could decide which one could be better between hers and mine. It is my way of respecting my daughter.

"Of course, they will be good to you," I planted a soft kiss on her cheek and rubbed her back to comfort her. "Because you are a good princess. Now tell me, do you want to stay here and play with other kids, or do you want to come with mommy to work?"

Education is a right of each child, and attending school should not be an option for them. Pero dahil masiyado pa namang bata ang anak ko para pumasok sa school, I'm giving her the freedom to decide if she's already ready for school or not.

In the end, my daughter decided to stay. I just redid her hair and sent her off to her table before bidding her a goodbye.

"Mommy!" Pahabol niyang sambit. Her smile reaches her ears. "I want to play with daddy Ishmael after shchool." She gave me a pleading look that hopes for my approval.

I bent down to kiss her forehead. "If he will have free time later, love. Enjoy your class."

Pagkatapos kong ipaalala sakaniya kung nasaan ang mga gamit niya ay tuluyan na akong lumabas mula sa school nila.

I hopped in my car and scanned the backseat to check if my daughter did not miss anything. Bago pa 'man ako makaalis ay lumitaw sa screen ko ang caller ID ni Engineer Saavedra.

"Hello," I greeted. "Yes, Engineer?" I teased.

Narinig ko ang bahagyang pagsinghal niya sa kabilang linya bago siya nagsalita.

"Hi, Architect. Anong oras ka pupunta sa site?" He asked before laughing. "Parang almost 1 hour ka nang late. Kami na ba ang bahala sa interior design nito? 'Wag kang magagalit kapag mix and match ang theme, ha. Maganda siguro ang safari with ocean."

My eyes widened before looking at my wristwatch. Mariin akong napapikit nang mapagtantong hindi nga siya nagbibiro.

"Hala, oo nga!" I exclaimed.

Sinimulan ko nang paandarin ang sasakyan ko dahil kailangang makarating ako sa site bago pa ako tuluyang maging isang oras nang late.

"Sira 'to. Saan ka ba kasi galing? This is very unusual of you to be late, Celeste." He uttered. Kahit pa sinusubukan niyang pagaanin ang tono niya ay nabahidan kong nag-aalala siya.

"There's nothing to worry about, Ismael. I'll be there in a minute. Kakatapos ko lang kasi ihatid sa school si Amaris." I heaved a sigh while maneuvering the steering wheel.

"Hindi naman ako nag-aalala, kapal nito," He teased that made me scoff.

I rolled my eyes kahit pa hindi niya naman makikita. For all I know, he will always be the first to worry about me and my daughter. Kahit hindi niya sabihin, I know he's willing to trade his own life for me and Amaris.

"Pero wait, you enrolled Amaris to a school without telling me?" He hysterically asked. Kahit hindi ko siya nakikita ay alam kong nakahawak siya ngayon sa dibdib at umaakto na parang nasasaktan. "That's painful, Architect."

"I did! You were just not listening when I told you about it because you were too busy singing for her." I laughed while raising my brow. I transfered the call to my car play so I won't have to hold my cellphone while driving and talking to him.

When I told him about Amaris' enrollment for nursery school, he was busy singing Moana's "How Far I'll Go" for my daughter. It is not my fault that the news about my daughter's school brought him to shock.

"Sana pa rin inulit mo, nakakasakit ka na. Parang hindi ako ang nag-alaga kay Amaris simula no'ng nasa sinapupunan mo pa siya. Ako ang ama!" He dramatically argued which brought me a ball of joy.

"Ang kapal ng mukha. Hindi ka kasali no'ng ginawa namin si Amaris." I teased back. "Inulit ko sana sa'yo kung nasa tono ka lang kumanta."

"Nakaka-hurt talaga siya, oh," He gasped. "Sa susunod na magbuntis ka, 'wag kang magpapakanta sa'kin. Torotot talaga ang ididikit ko sa tainga mo."

Nagpatuloy ang usapan namin na puro lang asaran. In the end, siya rin ang napikon. He decided to continue asking me a list of questions about Amaris and her school. Fortunately, I was able to drive properly and faster when the call ended when someone called him from the other line.

Guilt has been rushing all over my system for being irresponsible that I am late for work, but I don't regret putting my daughter first. I am just feeling bad that I should have at least informed them that I might be late today.

Pagkababa ko sa sasakyan ay bumungad sa'kin ang malawak na lupain at ang malakas na ihip ng hangin.

With trees dancing to the whispers of the wind, a rich natural landscape greeted my presence. The air that embraced me was softer and thinner with the beam of sunlight kissing my olive skin that shines with its golden rays. Nature is alive. As if they recognize me, they sang a wholly music that only the open minds could hear.

"Is she wearing a school uniform? Wait, do nursery students have one?" Ismael continued asking me about Amaris. Hindi pa rin sya nakaka-move on about my daughter simula no'ng sinundo niya ako mula sa parking area. "I could've seen her!"

It did not take me long to admire the beauty of nature when he appeared in my pathway and blocked my vision from the scenery. Simula nang maglakad kami papunta sa site ay walang katapusan na ang pagtatanong niya. Nagreklamo pa siya dahil kung alam niya lang daw sana ay siya mismo ang naghatid kay Amaris sa school.

"Don't worry, her favor was to see you after school," I tried to comfort him with that which switched his reaction from being upset to excited. "And yes, she's wearing a uniform. You'll see if you will make time for her after work."

When we reached the site, the construction team was already waiting for us with their work attires on.

"Hello. I apologize for being late. There was an urgent matter I had to attend, and it is my bad for not informing the team beforehand." An apology served as my greeting to them.

"Okay lang, Architect! Wala pa rin naman si Mr. Altamirano, baka nga hindi makapunta ngayon." Gabriel responded. Napakamot pa siya sa ulo habang sinasabi 'yon.

That explains why there is no sign of Mr. Altamirano anywhere. I bit my lower lip to refrain myself from asking about him.

Mapang-asar ang mga tingin at ngiti ni Ismael nang magkasalubong ang mga mata namin. I just rolled my eyes before ignoring him.

"Naibigay niya naman kay Ismael ang susi ng buong resthouse kahapon." Kendrick followed.

Dahil doon ay nagpatingin ulit ako kay Ismael na ngayon ay halos mapunit na ang mga labi sa kakangiti at nagawa pang itaas ang susi sa paningin ko. Nagtaas-baba ang mga kilay niya bago mapang-asar na itinanong kung gusto ko raw ba na kuhanin. I just closed my eyes in the tightest way I could and cursed him in my mind.

"Where is the renovation plan?" I asked to change the topic and opened my clipboard to check the drafts and sketches of the designs that Mr. Altamirano approved.

Inabot sa'kin ni Ismael ang renovation plan and I walked with the team to scan the site. We have been working on this project for almost two months. Although the demolition and clearing took us just a week to finish, it was the site assessment, planning, and structural reinforcement that required a lot of time to do.

"Have you validated if the reinforcement and footing depth meet the structural requirements?" I asked the structural engineer in-charged. It is to ensure that the structure can safely support the renovation because if it is not stable enough to do so, then we must put it on hold to secure safety.

"Yes, Architect." It was Nick who responded since he is the structural engineer. "It was already verified, and the footing depth was based on the approved structural plans and soil conditions. Since this is in countryside, the footings are within the depth of 1.2 meters below the natural ground level. Isinunod na rin namin sa structural designs ang sizes ng rebar, spacing, pati ng lap joints para siguradong safe and ma-maintain ang structural integrity." Mahabang lintaya niya. He handed me a paper to support his statement. Their team ensured to document each of their procedure and findings, including the structural limitations.

"Is there any possible reason that may cause us problems in following the renovation plan and design?" I asked as a follow-up question.

I looked at the head of each team to let them talk.

"So far, we reviewed the design and most of it is workable." Kendrick answered as he is the foreman. The other team members agreed. "But, we foresee some challenges. Isa na 'yung beam. It supports the cantilevered balcony and may require a larger section due to the actual span found onsite. Isa pa, we’ve noticed that the wall marked for demolition is load bearing. Nakausap na namin si Engineer Ismael tungkol dito. Sa ngayon, magbibigay na siya ng reinforcement options."

The structural reinforcement is taking a longer time than we have expected. The client wanted the resthouse to be renovated from an old-classical fashioned to a modern-tropical. An old-classical resthouse screams elegance and feels cozy, ornate, and storied, but it can feel tight and aged if not well-kept. It is also not ideal for a resthouse since it might be suffocating. That makes a modern-tropical resthouse a better option since it feels open, calm, and uncluttered that is ideal for rest, escape, and wellness.

I joined the team in planning a reinforcement option since I would be the one to design the interior and exterior of the resthouse. It is better for me and the team to have compatible plans since it is a renovation project so there might be risks with the structural reinforcements.

"Ismael!" I called him after we finalized the reinforcement plan. Nagpaalam ako sa team na may kailangan lang akong puntahan at babalik din kaagad ako.

"Oh? Itatanong mo ba kung nasaan ang kliyente? 'Wag sa'kin, Architect. Hindi kami close." Kaagad niyang bungad sa'kin. I couldn't help myself anymore, so I glared at him. "Joke lang naman. Hindi ko talaga alam, Architect. Try natin i-message? Gusto mo call na lang? Video call kaya? Mas malakas daw kasi ang ring kapag vid----," He could not finish talking when my palm hit the back of his head.

"Sobrang dami mong sinasabi. Gusto mo bang maging pasyente ng kliyente mo?" I scoffed. "Bahala ka diyan, ako na lang mag-isa ang susundo kay Amaris."

I left him complaining about the pain. Hindi malakas ang pagkakabatok ko sakaniya, talagang may lahing pagka-actor lang siya.

"Hoy, sandali naman! Hindi naman mabiro, sasama nga ako." He glared. "Baka gusto mong i-drain ko 'yang gas ng kotse mo kung hindi mo ako isasama."

He kept talking nonsense, but I don't have the energy to rebutt so I chose to shut my lips until we reached my car. I threw my keys in his direction. Unfortunately, he couldn’t catch it on time so it hit the bridge of his nose before falling in his hands. Hindi ko na napigilang tumawa nang bumilog ang mga mata niya at mangiyak-ngiyak na tumingin sa'kin habang itinuturo ako.

"W-What happened to y-you, Celeste? Hindi ikaw 'yan! How dare you? Nakakailang pananakit ka na ngayong araw." He complained, acting as if he is about to cry.

My fingers flew to the bridge of my nose while my other hand massaged my temple. I never knew I had another child.

Since Amaris is enrolled in a nursery school, she needs to attend class for two hours every day which is from eight o'clock in the morning until ten o'clock. The hand of my wristwatch says it's only quarter to ten, but we have already reached her school. Ismael parked the car before levelling my footsteps. If only he knows which room is Amaris in, he would've run since after he left the car.

"I want to see her!" He's excited as if he is the father of the child. "Where's her room? Are her windows open? I want to see her play with her classmates. I can imagine her giving attitude to her classmates, though." Palinga-linga siya sa mga classrooms na nadaanan namin habang walang tigil sa pagsasalita.

"Excuse me? Amaris will never! Sobrang bait kaya niya, hindi ka lang nahahawaan kasi mas lamang ang kaitiman ng budhi mo." I scoffed.

We continued barking at each other again but stopped when we saw the mini figure of Amaris exiting her classroom. Her hair is tied in a ponytail with a pink satin ribbon. I watched her struggle to bring her bag because the strap was falling from her shoulder, while her other little hand is busy carrying the small coloring kit. I chuckled while watching her.

"Ellie!" I called her. In a snap, she's already turning her head from right to left to search where the voice came from. I raised my hand and Ismael ran to her. Ang kaninang inosenteng itsura niya ay napalitan nang malawak na ngiti habang bumibilog ang mga matang nakatingin sa amin ni Ismael.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Her tiny voice shrieked. Tumatalon na sinubukan niyang tumakbo, but she failed when her bags gave her a hard time, so Ismael reached for her body to carry her in his arms.

He dramatically faked wiping his eyes, as if he's crying. Hindi pa rin talaga siya tapos. He really finds it amusing that Amaris is now attending school.

"Ang anak ko," He sniffed. "Malaki na ang anak ko. 'Wag ka munang mag-aasawa, ha? May crush ka na ba kaagad? Sino? Ituro mo sa'kin, kikilati---" I did not let him finish. Kaagad kong nilapitan ang anak ko para kuhanin.

"Don't mind him, baby." I flashed a smile while taking Amaris into my arms. "Hi, my love. How are you? How was school?" I asked before Ismael took her bags to carry them in his hands. That's the best thing he did today so far.

Time surely went fast. It was almost eleven o'clock when we arrived at the site with paper bags from Jollibee because it was the little human's request. Ismael also bought foods for the team so we could take our lunch with them.

"Hi, baby!" They greeted Amaris. "Ang cute mo naman."

They were all so fond of Amaris. Kinukulit at dinadaldal nila ang bata habang kumakain kaming lahat. I was able to eat properly and finish my food quickly since Ismael insisted to feed the kid. Hindi pa sana ako papayag para makakain siya nang maayos, ngunit naisumbat niya kaagad sa'kin na hindi niya na nga raw naihatid sa school si Amaris sa first day niya, tapos hindi ko pa raw siya hahayaang pakainin ang bata.

"I didn't know you have a kid, Architect." Sambit ni Kendrick. Natatawang tumango ako sakaniya.

"I don't bring her to sites. Ngayon lang dahil hindi pa naman gaanong delikado ang construction site saka kakalabas niya lang galing sa school."

"We shtudied the alphabet today," Sambit ng bata sa mga kausap niya. "But I'm already good at it becaushe mommy alwaysh shing the alphabet to me."

"Kaya ka bulol sa letter s, eh," Ismael laughed. "Nanay mo kasi ang nagtuturo." In a snap, a plastic bottle flew towards his direction, but he swiftly dodged it with his eyes wide open.

Natatawang sinubukan ni Ismael na itama ang pagbigkas ni Amaris sa letter 's' dahil hanggang ngayon ay hirap siya doon. She's already good with words for her age, but she's struggling with that certain letter.

Minutes after taking our lunch, Ismael went inside the resthouse to wash his hands with Amaris. Inabala ko ang sarili ko sa pagliligpit ng mga pinagkainan naming lahat dahil mas marami naman silang kailangan gawin kumpara sa'kin.

While throwing the paper bag of our takeouts, I noticed a familiar car sitting in the parking area near my car. Hindi ko napansin 'yon kanina no'ng bumaba kami dahil nakatuon kay Amaris ang atensyon ko.

Nang mapagtanto ko na hindi iyon kotse ng mga kasama namin sa team ay bumilog ang mga mata ko at halos mabingi ako sa ingay ng bawat pagtibok ng puso ko.

I swiftly turned my back from the parking area and ran to bring myself inside the resthouse.

Cairo Zeidan Altamirano.

He's here. He is inside the goddamn resthouse, and I failed to notice his presence earlier! Kaya pala pagkarating namin ay wala 'ni isa ang nakatunganga, kundi lahat ay kumikilos at abala. The client is here. Amaris' father is here.

I should've made myself ready before bringing Amaris to this place. This is her father's resthouse, a property of the man who contributed to her existence. But I know I was never worried of their paths crossing. I am worried about the reaction of Zeidan if he sees our daughter, and how Amaris would feel about his reaction.

This is no longer my place, but I came back for my daughter.

The world is cruel enough to deprive people of their rights when it is supposed to be freeing and giving. The least thing I could do is open my daughter's door so she would find a brighter path and not live inside a dark room as a lost soul. But, I cannot do that if I would be too cruel to deprive her of having a father when she deserves one.

I was panting and catching my breath when I found Amaris standing in the hallway, holding my necklace that I gave her. It wasn't mine. It's her father's. Mariin akong pumikit, sinusubukang ayusin ang isip at hinahabol ang bawat hangin na nabitawan ko kanina lang.

But I wish I did not open my eyes when it found a man in his navy-blue dress shirt paired with a black slack that hugs his bodyframe perfectly and a white coat was hanging in his right arm while standing in front of my little human, Amaris.

Pigil na pigil ko ang paghinga ko at ang pagkurap. As if an angel passed by, I could hear nothing but the fast beating of my heart together with the voices inside my head.

"Wow, are you a doctor? You are!" It was the amused voice of Amaris when she made sure by looking at his white coat and the stethoscope inside a clear medical pouch in his other hand. I did not notice that earlier. "Jusht like my daddy."

Tumango si Zeidan sakaniya at ipinakita ang hawak nitong medical supplies.

"Hi, kid. Who are you with? You should not be roaming around alone," He talked to Amaris. "It is dangerous for small kids to walk alone in construction sites."

His eyes watched Amaris, as if he is examining her features. For a second, I saw his forehead ceased and his lips parted as if he wants to say something. But he did not.

"I'm with daddy, he'sh inshide the bathroom," Amaris responded. "Ish thish houshe yoursh? Why are you here, Mr. Doctor? You should be in the hoshpital."

Zeidan did not speak, nor moved. He just stared at Amaris who is also staring at him, innocently waiting for him to answer her question. She even raised her hand, showing a small bar of chocolate and tried to share some with him.

"You," He gulped. "You look like her. You look like the architect of this house."

Mabilis kong nabitawan ang hiningang kanina ko pang pinipigilang makawala. Alam kong nagulat si Amaris dahil natinag siya sa pagkakatayo niya. Bahagyang gumalaw ang maliit niyang katawan at animo'y may gustong sabihin. She knows that her mother is the architect of this house, and she knows a lot about her father. She would tell Zeidan everything she could remember because she would think that the man in front of him is working with her father. She's a kid, she would come up with a variety of conclusions.

I'm not worried that my daughter would say I'm her mother. But I can't let her talk about her father yet. All the information she knows about her father would point out to Zeidan. If she does, Zeidan would know that the little human in front of him is his daughter. For all I know, I should be happy, but this is not how I planned it to be. None of them are ready for this and putting them both in shock would not be a great deal because it might lead to a bigger problem. A deeper damage to both.

"Really? Becaushe architect ish---"

Just as when I was about to run to take my daughter away, naunahan ako ni Ismael. Dumadagundong ang boses niya habang tumatakbong lumapit kay Amaris para kuhanin ito.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Amaris jumped before Ismael succeed in lifting her up.

Napabaling ang tingin ko kay Zeidan nang kunot-noong tumungo ito at may dinampot mula sa sahig. The necklace. Bumilog ang mga mata ko kasabay nang paglipad ng kamay ko sa mga labi ko.

I could hear the voice of Ismael and the soft giggles of my daughter, but my eyes were pinned to Zeidan who stood up with his lips parted and eyes staring at the necklace.

"Amaris naman," Ismael was panting too. "Hinahanap kita. Why did you leave? Hindi pa kita nalilinisan nang maayos. Sobrang amos mo tuloy. Puro chocolate ang buong mukha mo pati ang kamay, lagot ako nito sa nanay mong bata ka."

He was busy with Amaris that he didn't notice the man standing in front of them with his dark eyes stilled to my daughter.

"Hala, hala! Pati uniform mo nalagyan ng chocolate. Sabi ko sa'yo secret lang natin 'yan, mapapagalitan tayo ng nanay mo." Mangiyak-ngiyak na sambit ni Ismael sa bata. "Paano 'to matatanggal? Huhugasan ko ba? Labahan na lang kaya kita kasama ang uniform mo?"

My eyes shut close tighter and held my head because of the way Zeidan's looking at Amaris. I should leave. He would not ask about Amaris if he doesn't know I'm the mother.

I heard Amaris chuckling, and before I could even move my feet, her tiny voice called out for me.

"Mommy!" Amaris screamed.

Everything stopped. Zeidan shifted his eyes from Amaris to me. Before the necklace, Ismael, and the way Amaris called me, Zeidan was smiling. But this time, his gaze became sharp as daggers with his jaw slightly clenching.

"Mr. Doctor, my mommy ish the architect of your houshe," Amaris gladly said. "Ishn't she pretty? I look like her!"

Zeidan smirked, but there was no hint of happiness in his eyes.

"Is that it?" Zeidan softly asked the kid but left his place to walk towards my direction.

His steps grew bigger in each leap, and my heartbeat went faster with them. I wanted to run and hide, go to a place where he couldn't find me and our daughter because his eyes scream mystery. I don't know how he feels, nor what's in his mind. Mariin akong pumikit, sumusubok kumuha ng lakas upang makagalaw ngunit nabigo ako nang pagdilat ko ay ilang dipa na lang ay layo namin sa isa't isa.

"You owe me one long, deep talk. Follow me to my office, Architect."