The right decision

Chapter 6

AMARA

Instantly… Just as soon as Stefan tore those words out of his mouth, those gut-wrenching, painful and heart-breaking words, I felt a slab of pain blast through my mind…shaking me and shivers down my spine.

The words repeated in my head over and over again, and although not having the least idea what he meant as I was just grasping on this other side of him and the world. My mind could not help but wander back to the only word I could register and put meaning to in all of what he said, ‘Reject you,’.

My mind splintered in a thousand pieces for the next seconds as a pool of dread suddenly filled the innermost pit of my stomach. Realization suddenly dawned on me.

Did Stefan just fucking reject me? Did he refuse to have anything to do in front of my sister and his entire gods-damned insane pack, who were staring down at me like I was some kind of infection which just invaded their space, and they wanted nothing more than to get rid of me? How dare Stefan do this to me after…. Fuck! I betrayed him.

This was his way of getting back at me for what I did to him? I suddenly went from feeling anger at what he did to feeling sad. I caused this upon myself…what made me think for one second he could be won by my side? What made me think I could warm up into his heart just because we met in a forest?

My eyes washed desperately over Stefan, finding one grasp in the flicker of his face that’d toss back at me, he did not mean what he said. But all I could see was a blank wall of expression glaring hard at me, his lips set in a tight motion…he was done.

To make matters worse, as if to add to my injury purposely, Elena tugged on the band of Stefan’s pants, and pulled him closer to her. Something feral fired up inside me see her do that, a low growl escaped me, which only made her burst out into a fit of mocking laughter.

She batted her eyelashes at me, which sounded like me whimpering. Hell no, I didn’t sound that way, right? “Look who is whining like a wounded lion? Aww! poor little soul could not accept a simple rejection!” she grinned devilishly and came to stand in front of Stefan, driving her butt into his groin and making a low moan.

Did she just do that right in my presence? Not thinking I am her elder sister? My eyes snapped to Stefan, I watched him wrap his arms around her waist, smiling at her, and he pushed her close to grind her waist more into him.

Her next words bite hard into me, confirming my earlier question.

“Sorry for being rejected…” she started. “You really thought he’d pick you?” Elena said, her voice was sharp. “Poor little Amara. Rejected again.”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. My chest rose and fell fast. I took a step forward but stopped on a second thought. What was I going to do? What should I say to him?

“Stefan… please,” I said. My voice was low and shaky. “You don’t mean this. This isn’t you.”

But Stefan didn’t look at me. He didn’t even flinch. He just kept kissing her like I wasn’t even there. Like I had never mattered. Like I was invisible.

“Elena, don’t,” I begged. “You’re doing this on purpose. You’re hurting me. You know what this means to me. And you are hurting me for the second time with the man I love.”

She turned to me and rolled her eyes. “What? Going to cry now? Run to your mommy like you always do? I am not really sure how she's going to take the complaint, but be ready for another heartbreak!”

Tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t hold them anymore. I turned and ran out of the gathering, Elena's mocking laughter echoing behind me. My chest hurt like someone stabbed it.

My legs moved, but I didn’t know where I was going. I just wanted to get away. I ran and ran until my feet ached. Not only that, but I didn't know when I ran back home.

I slammed the door as I got into the inn and called out, “Mama!”

She came from the kitchen, wiping her hands. “Amara, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Who hurt you?”

I couldn’t breathe. The tears flowed freely now of their accord. “It’s Stefan. He… he chose her. He…he rejected me mom for Elena. He kissed her right in front of me, and Elena mocked me. She laughed at me, Mom.”

I waited for her to hug me or tell me it would be okay. I expected her to storm right past me to confront Elena. But she didn’t.

She sighed and said, “Amara, I told you not to let your emotions control you. You must stay calm now. Take a deep breath and release it slowly. If you don’t, you might lose control. You know what happens when your feelings take over.”

My mouth dropped open. “What? That’s all you have to say? You’re worried about me losing control, but not about what Elena did? She knew! She knew what she was doing! Mom, she knew I love Stefan so much. And she took him away from me, she broke us apart for the second time. And all you could do is to tell me to calm?” I asked, staring at her, unbelievable.

what has gotten into her? Because this was not my mother. I knew she always supported Elena and let her go with countless things, but not this. I was not expecting her to do this.

“Maybe Stefan made his choice,” Mom said quietly. “You must accept it.”

I stared at her, my hands trembling. “So you’re saying it’s my fault? That I should just accept this? That I should smile and pretend nothing happened? Do you think I should be okay with it? That I should be rejected, and he accepts my sister?”

“Not okay,” she said softly, “but calm. Think with your mind, not your heart.”

My heart broke again. “You’re just like them. You don’t care, either. How I wish dad were alive! I am highly disappointed in you. You are not my mother!”

“Amara…”

I didn’t let her finish. I turned around and ran out the door again. My eyes were full of tears. I couldn’t see clearly, but I didn’t care. I would rather not be home. Likewise, I didn’t want to be anywhere near her.

I ran to the inn. My little kitchen. The only place that felt like mine. I opened the door and stepped in. I sat on the floor and let myself cry. Big, loud sobs. I didn't even think I was alone. My chest hurts. My throat burned. My hands covered my face, and I screamed into them.

Then I heard a knock. I didn’t answer. I didn’t care. I didn't want to talk to anyone, even though I knew that was not possible. But the door opened anyway.

“Amara?” It was Eamon’s voice.

I looked up as I heard his voice. My face was wet with tears and my eyes were red. “Go away,” I whispered. “I don’t want anyone here. I would rather not talk to anyone.”

But he didn’t leave. He walked in and sat next to me. “I saw you running in here from the garden. You looked hurt.”

I didn’t speak. I just cried more.

“What happened?” he asked.

I looked at him. In a blur of words, I explained my predicament.

Eamon frowned. “That’s… cruel. I’m sorry.”

I wiped my nose with my sleeve. “Why is everyone always against me? What did I do wrong? I loved him. I knew what I did to him in the end was wrong, but I waited for him.”

Eamon was quiet for a moment, then he said, “Maybe it’s time to stop waiting for him.”

I looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he said, “you’ve been living for Stefan. Every breath, every choice, but where has that gotten you? Hurt. Crying. Alone.”

“I didn’t want this,” I said. “I just wanted him to see me. I just wanted to be loved.”

“You are,” he pressed. “You just don’t see it.”

“No, I’m not,” I whispered. “Not by him. Not by my mother. No one sees me. No one listens.”

He put a hand on my shoulder. “Then let them miss you. Let them see what they lost. Live your life, Amara. Be strong. Be wild. Make him regret ever turning away from you. You just need to control yourself in your way. Not hide it. Not fear it.”

His words made something stir in me. I thought about Stefan’s face, cold and silent while Elena mocked me. I thought about my mother, more worried about control than my pain.

Then the pain returned, sharp and sudden. Not from the heartbreak. From memory. My father. His face. His last breath. Knowing he died to protect me.

“I miss him,” I said.

Eamon blinked. “Your father?”

I nodded. “He would’ve known what to say. He always knew. When he died… I promised I’d be strong, but I failed him. I am not anywhere near strong.”

I wiped my face again. “I want to make Stefan see me. I want him to regret it. I want Elena to fall. I want my mother to finally see me.”

“And I aim to avenge my father's death!” I said through gritted teeth, from the corner of my eyes, I could feel Eamon smiling at me. And I just knew I had made the right decision.