Making me feel better

CHAPTER 10

STEFAN

I sat alone in my chamber, staring at nothing. The fire in the corner had burned low, leaving only faint red embers. My hands rested on my knees, but they were tense, my fingers curling slowly.

My mind would not stop circling the same thoughts.

Amara.

Her face when I'd rejected her. Her voice as she pleaded with me to understand what I was doing. The way her scent clung to the air after she was gone.

I had rejected her. I told myself I had no choice. The betrayal still burned in my blood like poison. Every time I thought of what she had done, my jaw tightened. I hated it. I hated her for it.

But the truth – I still loved her. And that was the annoying part. Why was I supposed to love someone who betrayed me?

The two truths didn’t make sense together. They tore at me from opposite sides, pulling until it hurt.

I closed my eyes. The night in the woods came back to me – the night I found out she was my mate. I had taken her then, not to claim her, not to cherish her, but to satisfy the raw hunger that rose the moment I smelled her scent under the moonlight.

I had taken her raw under the mouth to take my anger on her for what she had done years back. The hands on her skin and her body against mine. The sound of her breath when I pushed her against the floor.

I had told myself it was nothing but lust. I told myself it won't hurt me but I was wrong. It was the damn biggest mistake I'd ever made in my life. And even now, I could still feel it—the bond.

The damn bond.

It pulled at me like a chain hooked to my chest. Since the moment she left, it had only grown tighter. The more I tried to push her out of my mind, the more she pushed back in. T

When I tried to fix my mind on things to forget who she was, I saw images and flashes of her and then I'm drowning in visions of Amara.

I groaned and leaned forward, pressing my elbows against my knees. “Why does it feel like this?” I muttered to myself. “I rejected her. It shouldn’t be this strong.”

The room was silent except for the faint pop of the dying fire.

I had not left my chamber since she was taken. I didn’t want to see anyone. I didn’t want anyone to see me. Even when Kai came knocking, I made excuses.

The last time, he had called through the door, “Stef, you’re rotting in there. Come out. The pack needs to see their Alpha.”

“I’m fine,” I’d called back, lying easily. “I just need time to think.”

“You’ve been thinking for days,” he’d said.

“Then I’ll think some more,” I replied.

It was easier to stay here than to face the world. Out there, I’d have to pretend I wasn’t haunted. In here, I could drown in my thoughts without anyone watching.

But the memories didn’t leave me alone.

I saw Amara again in my mind – her eyes when I pushed her away, the way her breath caught when I touched her in the woods, the look she gave me as if she could see through every layer of anger I hid behind.

I clenched my fists tighter. “Why can’t you just let me be?” I whispered to the ghost in my head.

The door swung open suddenly.

I snapped my head toward it. Elena stepped inside without knocking.

“Out,” I said flatly. I should be happy she was here but I'd been giving her the cold shoulder since her sister caught us together and she'd pushed me to reject her.

She frowned and crossed her hands underneath her breast as she watched me as if she could see right through me. “Stefan, you can’t just stay here—”

“Out,” I repeated, sharper this time. “Now, Elena. Don't make me call the guards to drag you out.”

She hesitated but turned and left without another word. I listened to the sound of the door closing again. Silence returned.

I was still staring at the floor when a knock came again. Not gentle this time, but firm.

“What?” I called.

“It’s me,” Kai’s voice came through. “I have something important to tell you. And you can think of turning me out but I promise you, I'd stand here all day, pounding and talking and you won't even have one moment to think.”

I hesitated, then said, “Come in.”

The door opened and my eyes widened at the unholy sight in front of me.

Kai walked in naked. Completely naked. Did he walk like this down to my room? Or did he change somewhere nearby?

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked, sitting up.

He didn’t answer. He just kept walking toward me, his steps slow and deliberate. His body was lean, strong, marked with faint scars from battles – battles we both had fought in and bonded over.

Kai was not only my beta but my best friend. He was the only one who could talk to me as he seemed fit, called me by my name and looked me in the air and called me out on my shit.

And I allowed it because he deserved it. I wasn't a stupid person and Kai wasn't the kind of person to let go.

My eyes snagged on the largest scar settling in the middle of his right ribs and stomach. The wound which had brought us together.

But that's another story for another beautiful day when I'd be in the mood to say it, now I've to deal with this rascal.

His eyes were fixed on me as he climbed onto the bed without asking and sat close enough that I could feel the heat from his skin.

“Why are you moody, Alpha?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.

I frowned at him. He always called me that to get on my nerves. “Kai...”

Before I could finish, he leaned forward and kissed me hard, rough, without hesitation.

I froze for a moment, then pulled back. “Kai–”

But his hand was already on me, gripping my building crotch between my legs, his touch slow and deliberate. His eyes didn’t leave mine.

“I hate seeing you like this,” he said softly, though his voice carried an edge. “Tell me… is it her? Amara?”

I pressed my lips tight. I knew if I said yes, he would never let me hear the end of it. He'd tease the hell out of me and I'd do nothing to him.

Kai studied me for a long moment. “You’re not going to answer me?”

Silence.

He smirked faintly. “Stef… unfortunately, I’m not a female. But I can make you feel better. If you don’t feel better after what I do to you…” He paused, his fingers tightening slightly. “…then I’ll call the rest of the pack.”

A short laugh escaped me. “There will be no need for that.”

He grinned. “Alright then. Let’s make you feel better.”