I tremble in front of the huge roaring fire, in a state of surreal daydream of the grand fireplace in the room that Colton left me when he brought me into his pack house. My blanket draped around my shoulders as my only modesty covering, as he goes and fetches clothes.
I’m tucked into the armchair in the corner, out of the way, while some of his pack pace around in the clearing directly in front of the flames, inwardly thrashing something out. They’re wired, agitated, the air thick with the stench of testosterone, blood, and fury and more are returning by the minute to convene here in this house. Obviously, the pack returning from chasing off those vile murderous intruders.It’s all in their actions, their mannerisms but as I’m not privy to Santo Pack linking, all I can do is watch the animated expressions and occasional outbursts of a word here and there.They know I’m here, but yet, are completely ignoring my presence, much like they“Over my dead body, you go anywhere with that mongrel! I forbid it. She shouldn’t even be here!” She can’t conceal her hatred and jealousy, barking an order that even I know she has no right to make to an alpha, even if he is her mate now. I sink down inside my own wrap of itchy blanket and try to not make eye contact; in the hopes she runs out of steam. Submissive, nervous, beyond exhausted, both mentally and physically, and too tired for this. Doing anything with Colton is not high on my list of priorities when I just had the worst night of my life. I have bigger problems than teen drama and broken hearts.“It’s called trust. She’s here for protection, and I’m showing her to a room so she can pull herself together…. nothing else. Don’t assume you can tell me what to do, Carmen, that’s not how this works.” There’s an edge to his tone but as of yet, his dominant vibe is playing cool and humorin
I shouldn’t have said that to her… She just makes me crazy lately. It’s like I have no patience for her and no real guilt over what we did. I know that makes me shitty, but we were bonded, and she has no idea how hard fighting that is… In my head, we didn’t do anything wrong, even though I know technically I cheated on my girlfriend. But she wasn’t anymore… I mean…. We imprinted! … And that pretty much meant you were my mate from that second on, and it blanked out all other feelings for her. What we did, was what we were meant to do. He stops, and I inhale heavily. Guilt instantly thudding down on top of me from my own heart and not his, pushing my irritation button all the more and I answer abruptly. Not sure I want to be the one he pours all his Carmen issues out on. I mean this alone is making me feel sick with the stabbing pain it’s inflicting on my heart. I still feel the same way about him, so I don’t
It’s true though. He can stand making speeches and regretful apologies from now until eternity, but the simple fact is, Colton had a choice, and this is what he chose. He doesn’t get to whine like some spoiled pup about it now. He’s an alpha for god’s sake, and he needs to own it. Not act like some overdramatic teen whose parents are being lame and stopping him from doing something superficial. He stares back at me in utter shock, rendered mute at my outburst and unsure how to even respond anyway. Even his mind link is silent. I don’t think any wolf this far below his station has ever talked to him like that, and he doesn’t seem like he knows quite how to respond. If I was anyone else, he probably would have me pinned to the floor by the throat and reminded them who their alpha was. Instead he’s silently shocked that I even had it in me.I ‘arghh’ at him, and shove him back abruptly, marching past, simmering with this
Colton catches me by the elbow instantly, and yanks me to the right instead, heading for the stairs at a fast pace that signals he’s in no mode to argue about it. Forced by his strength. Not even letting me choose where I get to be alone and it riles me, that simmering fire in my belly back in a flash to push all tame aside and my inner demon shows face. I start fighting him, every inch of the way, by tugging, and squirming, and pushing him off, stabbing him with scathing pointed glares, refusing to relent. I pull his hand from my arm, getting madder when he grabs me by the other instead, a tighter, biting grip, that is meant to bring me back to heel. I twist it away, but to no avail as he shunts me from behind, then slides his arms around my body and continues to forcefully guide and push me where he wants me to go. It becomes a juvenile game of slapping, grabbing, shoving, tugging, and he gets me around the waist and lifts me from my feet before I ram an elbow straight in hi
I sit quietly in the bedroom I was frog marched into some hours ago. The food tray some random Santo dumped in here for me untouched, as I’ve literally no appetite and I’m laid out on the bed, staring at the endless white ceiling of a room that probably cost more to decorate than they spent on the orphanage the whole time I was in it. Bored out of my mind, but since my explosion, nothing in the house is working. Nothing electronic, no lights at all, and they are working on rectifying it. I’m still not convinced I did this, but it all seems to point this way.Apart from the boarded-up window and the now décor free shelves and such after they swept through, removing the carnage of smashed items, it’s pretty nice. Gold and cream with brown leather and opulent fabrics. It’s like a hotel boudoir in a five-star establishment and bigger than the entire lounge and kitchen at the rejects home. The Santo’s always were one of the wealthiest
“It’s like that huh?” He sighs, adjusting his position so he is propped up on his arm, hand fisted against the edge of his jaw and gives me a little breathing space. Moving back a few inches, but still pressed against the side of my full length, and still touching my face. “Two summers ago, before Carmen and I started dating. You were wearing a green dress, serving candy floss at the meadow festival. You served me, wouldn’t look me in the eye and when you passed me my change, you dropped it on the ledge rather than hand it to me. You had a yellow flower in your hair.” His voice is soft and husky, and I try hard to lock on his gaze as my memory dashes backwards, trying to pinpoint what he’s remembering. It’s vague, but I remember the festival and the way his whole pack spent the entire day lording over the rest of us and causing mayhem. It was a nothing day and nothing sticks out as memorable about it.“You have my memories,
“You liked me?” I blurt out accusingly. I don’t understand. That memory is long before the wars catapulted into our life and changed everything. A time I can barely remember, and I definitely don’t recall on that day, either of us having any kind of memorable interaction. He stayed with his friends and I stayed with mine and then I went home with my mom before the sun went down. I would have to claw through the memories to be sure, but there was nothing to suggest he even noticed me. “I had a crush on you, like you wouldn’t believe. I don’t know how many times I tried to talk to you and got completely blanked or lost my nerve. I used to hang out where I knew you would be, but then the war happened, and you became….” His voice tails off, eyes averting, shame washing over his expression, and I know what he means without him finishing. I became a black sheep. One of the shamed. My family died and our people scrape
“What about it? You came to tell me they all think I’m a freak and a threat and I’m getting moved to an isolation tank.” I say it so blankly like there’s no feeling behind it, but honestly, it’s had me worried to the pit of my stomach on and off for hours. Isolation tanks dampen gifts and make you unable to do anything much about it. If they think I’m some kind of freak of nature, I can totally see Juan using that as an excuse to contain me. It would solve the whole imprinting issue and his son being in danger. I would literally live in a steel box, forgotten in some basement below one of the Santo houses. I could live and rot until I die of age in there. Problem solved.“They’re all too busy figuring out what we do about our lands before we’re hit with another attack. This shit is just the beginning, Lorey. All these years wasted when we should have been preparing and building an army once more. Now they’r