3. Guilt Ridden

Valarie's Pov

I woke up panting' my whole body covered in sweat" it seems that I had that dream again" where I used to be naive and innocent" it feels like torture when I remember my old self"

Five years have past' everything has changed around me so have I,  I'm no longer that naive' innocent little girl people used to know I have grown into a strong woman" this dream is just the reminder of the foolish choices I made in the past " choices that still haunts me' even today

Every night I close my eyes I'm reminded that there's no such thing as love" only betrayal

Good morning sweetheart I hear my mother's cheerful voice as she enters my bedroom casually opening the curtains like she does every morning"

Sure' let yourself in I say with sarcasm closing my eyes as I pull the sheets over my face

Come on Valarie today is a big day for you' aren't you excited she says rolling the wheelchair next to my bed"

Wake up lazy bird it's 07:00 in the morning she says pulling the bedsheet off my face' cheerfully messing hair

Mom please.. there's nothing special about today" just let me sleep' five more minutes please" I groan closing my eyes

Valarie Blackrose" today isn't the day for your silly little tantrums' you can throw them tomorrow" wake up young lady she scolds pulling the sheet off my face

You know I'm not a child anymore I say with frustration"

Then stop acting like one she says with a laughter helping me sit up straight" I sigh looking at the wheelchair bedsides the bed" she's about to help me get on it when I refuse her like I always do"

It's fine I can do it myself I say using my hands to lift my legs' one by one placing them on the side of the bed" I'm slow but after much effort I'm able to turn my body to face the wheelchair" I pull it close to me" worried that I will fall she tries to help me' but I refuse her again

It's not that I don't want her help' it's just that it makes me feel like I'm a burden " ever since my legs became paralyzed she stopped being the woman she used to be" I feel guilty knowing that she has had to put her life on hold for me not just her but also my father" they don't say it but I can see the toll my health has taken on them"  I know I have no one to blame but myself that's why I can't bear to see them suffer like this

Valarie let me help you sweetheart she says as she can see how much I'm struggling to get on the wheelchair" no I'm fine besides I have to learn to do it myself I say still struggling to get on it

After much effort I'm finally successful with climbing the wheelchair" come in' I say as I hear a knock on the door

Good morning Mam greets Isabella my caretaker with a smile as she enters the room" she's young we are almost the same age except she's two years older than me' we get along very well' but what I like the most about her is that she never makes me feel like I'm disabled

Good morning Isa I greet back with a smile looking at her

Shall I prepare a bath for you she asks looking at me

No" I think I'd like to stay in my room a little bit more I say rolling my wheelchair to the window looking at the beautiful view outside

No, there's no way I'm letting you miss the ceremony tonight' scolds my mother looking at me, have you forgotten that you have been nominated for the business of the year award she says looking at me with a smile

Mom you know I don't care about this kinds of things I say sighing deeply" besides there's no guarantee that I will win I say trying to convince her to let it go but it seems she isn't ready to

Valarie sweetheart there's no one who deserves this award more than you" in a short period of time since you became CEO of Blackrose enterprises you have managed to leave your mark in the industry' everyone knows who you are" do you have any idea how proud your father and I are to be able to call you our daughter she says getting down to my level

I know and that's enough for me"  I don't need strangers who can't look at me in the eye to celebrate my accomplishments with me I say coldly

Valarie you're missing the point" tonight is about you not them" do you know how sad your father will be when he doesn't see you on that stage tonight, it will break his heart" think about it' you know how fragile his health is she says holding my hands" for a moment I stare at her in silence unable to believe what she's doing to me

Don't think I don't see through your emotional blackmail' I know what you're doing and I don't like it I say looking at her

Is it working she asks proud of herself as she can see I'm about to curve

Yes it is' I'll go to the party tonight but you have got to stop doing that it's called scheming I say and we both burst into a laughter

That my good girl I knew you wouldn't let me down she says hugging me tightly

Isa please go prepare a bath for me I want to go to the office before the party tonight I say rolling my wheelchair towards the washroom"

Yes Mam she says doing what I requested