33: Goodbye

"Now you're here."

After that talk with the Deguzman's, I called Mister Ramirez and asked for a dinner in the near restaurant so we can talk. I want to tell him that I am going to go back at work even though I have not last long for a week after I resigned from work. I did not regret about my decision, my decision just now is regretful. To come back with the man who killed my parents and bear with him, make him fall in love with me and so he would surrender. That sounds impossible but when it comes to justice, everything is possible to me.

"See you later," I said before I ended the call. I then let out a light sigh and bit my lower lip inwardly. I can do this. I will do this.

"So, what did he say?" Zed asked me while we were inside the living room. He was watching me talk to Mister Ramirez and I cannot stay calm because of anger. Zed probably saw how awful I am now.

I clicked my tongue against the insides of my cheeks. "He will come."

He then nodded his head in agreement. He stared at me for a moment before he reached for my hand. I stood in front of him while he embraced me, encircling his arms around my waist. He then buried his face on my stomach, making me tickle. "I wish you a good luck."

I looked down at him and played with his hair. I think he likes it because he hugged me more tight, as if afraid with the thought that I might disappear in any second. "Yeah, thank you. I guess this is an exciting yet annoying challenge of all time. All over my life, I never feel this way. The pain, sadness, anger, it all mixed and I think I will explode if I cannot control myself anymore."

He sighed, closing his eyes and is still in my stomach. "I wonder how would you react once you see him."

I chuckled. "I... I also don't know. I can imagine myself facing him again with my poker face but anger inside my being."

"You are so brave, Tal," he said and looked up at me. He stared at my eyes with so much emotion. "And that is just making me to love you even more."

I smiled and grabbed a pack of his hair so he would look up at me more. "I love you."

I then bent down and kissed him on his lips quickly. He helped me to wait for the right time before I go to the rendezvous of where Mister Ramirez and I will see each other. To not feel so bored all time around, I played with Zed a puzzle. We are too amused that we somehow forget the pain we were both feeling.

"It's time," Zed stopped from putting a block in the pad and looked at me. I just forced a smile before I stood up. I fixed myself first. "I will bring you there if it's alright."

"Yeah, sure."

After I prepared myself, we both went to the parking lot where his car is parking. I let out a sigh as he turned the engine on. My hands were shaking while we were on our way and Zed noticed that. He reached for my hand using his right hand and hold it tightly.

"You are fine," he muttered in the air. "I will watch you from afar. I can't just stay still without protecting you."

I nodded my head and looked outside the car. "Thank you for being here."

"Anything for you, my love."

I just smiled at him before we went silent. Upon arriving to the said restaurant, I went out of the car. Zed parked his car not far away from the restaurant, just enough for him to see what is happening inside. I looked at him first, then I tilted my head and went inside.

I saw Mister Ramirez standing beside the chair of our table. He was looking at me intently, making me force a smile at him and I was even hesitant to wave my hands. I was just reminding myself that I should be nice to him because this is for good. Set aside the dark feelings and think of the good future.

"Hey, good evening!" I greeted him with a smile. I went near his face and kissed his cheeks. He then held my waist and guided me to sit on my seat. "How gentle of you, Kiel. Thank you."

"For you," he also beamed at me and sat in front of me. Just when I arrive, our order was being served in our table. My brows even raised in amusement because I have seen my favorite food being put in our table.

"You miss this, I guess," he shrugged his shoulders. When the staffs left, I sipped on my wine and peeked at our table. I am not hungry, also not full but he ordered tons of food. "I remember when you almost left our foods empty back in Canada. I hope you are still the same."

I chuckled. "Nothing changed, Kiel."

He stared at me, getting confused and clueless at the same time. I know that I am acting weird, I just cannot help it. "Really, huh? Why do you want to see me, then? What should be our topic of the night?"

I played the wine glass using my fingers and looked at him. "I am currently regretting about my decision."

"For resigning? You shouldn't. That is for your good and I have nothing to do about it -"

"No," I cut him off. "What I mean is that, I am doubting your feelings towards me. How shame of me, really. Are not you mad at me or something? Or maybe, you do not want to see me here and you just have no choice -"

"Shut that, Talia," he also cut me off with his creased brows, which made me purse my lips. "It is not that I have no choice nor I am forced. I have been wanting to see you since day one. After you left my office without even looking at me for the last time, it is frustrating."

"I'm sorry."

"That's fine, you are now here. Maybe we should get started? Have a bite."

I agreed to him. We started to eat with silence between us. I never dare to talk because it was like my tongue has just cut and something like a big stone is blocking my throat. What a bad luck of me. Maybe start a conversation that can turn his interest and will make us to talk more deeper about such a thing.

I cleared my throat and sipped on my wine. I just chewed a steak and I swear, it is so good. "Have you found another secretary? Better than me? Well, I am not even better."

He hissed and put his sporks down. "I haven't, and I wasn't planning to. Anyway, no one is more better than you. You are the best."

I laughed because of his statement. "You are making my heart to flatter."

"Yeah, but do you mind coming back?"

"Yeah, sure," I nodded my head without thinking of any word. He was caught off guard for a moment. His left brow raised and the side of his lips rose up.

"You sure about that?"

"You think I am just trying my luck?"

"You are lucky with me."

My lips turned into one thin line when he said that. Lucky with him, huh? If that remark from him was not enough to make everyone laugh, I don't know what's the most hilarious thing in the world anymore.

"Yeah." I simply agreed and gone silent. Anger started to rise up in my system but I have to control myself. Maybe I will just think that I am safe with a "killer" and he will make me happy tonight with this dinner.

"Anyway, we should get to the point," Mister Ramirez said and moved his chair a bit. "Why dix you asked me here?"

I stared at him and he stared back at me. It was like we were talking through our eyes and it is making me feel something weird that I cannot define what actually is. "It was just that, I want to see you," I said with a shrug. That really is my reason for asking him on a dinner-date aside from coming back to work.

He licked his lower lip and looked away with a small chuckle. "You know what? You are making me feel something I should not feel. I don't know, Talia. You, you are making me crazy as fuck."

"I... I'm sorry," I stammered.

He then hissed and looked at me with disbelief. "Nothing to be sorry about. It was just that, I did not expect to feel this again. Last day, you are showing me that you are in love with me, no, you have interest. But now, it was like you are not even happy to be here. What really is it and you decided to see me?"

I bit my lower lip. Now, I could not meet his pained eyes. "I just want to see you, Kiel. That's it."

"I don't believe you."

That pains me. That remark from him... it was like a pointed knife that is deep tugged in my heart. I could not help but to chuckle in pain. But of course, I did not let him to see that kind of hurt in my eyes. I am angry at him, but what he just said turned me to someone else I do not want to be. I hate it when he hurt my feelings. It makes me more broken.

I bit my lower lip harshly and nodded my head multiple times. I am trying to hold my tears. "Like you should, Kiel."

"Talia -"

"I'm sorry but I am going." I stood up with my quivering body. I cannot take this anymore. I turned my back on him and he automatically followed me and called my name. Most of the people inside the restaurant looked at us because of Mister Ramirez's call, but I did not mind them anymore. I went out of the restaurant, almost running away. Even if that, he was able to catch before me.

"Talia, hey!" He held my pulse and made me stop from walking away from him. He made my body to face him. I did not look at him in the eye, instead, I looked down at our foot next to each other. "Where the hell are you going? I will not let my date leave just that. I will bring you home if you want to go home. Just don't," he paused in frustration. "Just don't run away."

I am trying to hold back my tears but I can't bear with it anymore. A tear fell down on my cheek. He saw that especially when he held my chin and made me look up at him. His eyes... a beautiful eyes full of emotion looking at mine. "Kiel, please..." I begged, now weeping. "Just... just let me leave."

He shook his head and cupped my face. He then wiped my tears away. "I will leave with you."

I was about to look down again when he did not let me. My eyes automatically shut as his lips went inch away from mine. I held his shoulders tightly out of nervousness. He was not able to kiss me because someone just cleared a throat from behind.

"Z-Zed." I was shocked to see him. He smiled at us and dragged my hand away from Mister Ramirez. "H-Hey..."

"Hey, dude. We have to go now. Mind excusing us?"

Mister Ramirez on the other hand creased his brows, looking at I and Zed's hand together. He then nodded his head and gaze at me.

"Yeah, sure. Bring him home safely."

"I will. Anyway, I am Zed. Her boy best friend."

"Kiel Alexandro, her suitor."

I looked away from them and sighed. I felt cold all of a sudden. Maybe we should now hurry up. "We're going, Kiel. Thank you," I said and bowed my head a little.

"Yeah, no worries. Just, goodbye."

When he said that, he turned his back against us. I couldn't help but to get hurt even more. The way he said goodbye... it was like over.

It is, Kiel? You are surrendering?