Home / YA/TEEN / Bone Thin / Chapter 2: Better Days

Share

Chapter 2: Better Days

last update Last Updated: 2022-09-20 00:34:58

I stop vaping and pull out a piece of mint gum. I'm nervous my mom will find out. Chomp... chomp...chomp. I can hear my teeth grinding in my ears.

"Selah, please don't tell anyone about my shoplifting today," I say before we part ways.

"Yeah, no worries. I deleted your cop lecture photos anyway—all but one. I had to keep one for the hell of it," Selah smirks.

"Delete ALL of them. I don't want anyone to know about my issue. Especially Sammy. Like I need a sister lecture," I roll my eyes.

"Nat, just tell me why you do it. Why do you shoplift?" Selah asks.

"Well, one, it's easy. I haven't been caught yet. And number two, I'm not telling you about number two," I say.

The truth is I've been shoplifting more than the things I want. I've been lifting canned goods, bread, and milk. I drop them off at Chad's house. His dad just lost his job. And money is tight. So, I've been shoplifting groceries for them for a few months now. Selah doesn't need to know about their hardships. I've even dropped off a few cans over to her place in the middle of the night.

I want to be a good person. But I feel like something is missing inside. Something bigger than myself. If I or someone else could help me find that inner spark, that inner whatever it is. Maybe I would be okay.

For now, Selah doesn't need to know the truth. That I shoplift and donate, lift, and donate. I can't afford to help people. And if my peers knew, I'd be labeled a 'good girl.' And I know I'm not one. I leave Selah. I head inside and find Sammy.

"I bought you something, Nat," Sammy says.

She tosses bubblegum at me—my favorite flavor of pure bubblegum goodness.

"Thanks, Sammy."

"You're welcome, Nat," Sammy smiles.

I tuck the packet of bubblegum into my purse. I feel the sunglasses that I bought. I didn't give the other pair to Selah. Oh well, she didn't even know about them. The sunglasses have pink heart shapes all over them. I hand them to Sammy.

"Here, sissy, these are for you," I say.

"Oh, thanks, Nat. I just broke my shades this morning," Sammy comments.

She tries them on and places them on her head. As usual, everything looks perfect on her. Those glasses would make my head look like Jupiter. As if that'd be attractive.

"Natalie, don't look at me like that," Sammy yells. She knows I'm comparing myself to her.

"What?" I play dumb.

"Don't... what... me. You look good in everything you wear too," Sammy tries to comfort me.

Sammy and Selah have ganged up on me in the past. They've tried showing me photos with compliments. They've tried this and that. Buying me sexy underwear, giving me new dresses, and taking me to makeovers. Nothing satisfies me.

I'm never going to look like "them." Them is everyone else, who isn't me. The popular girls from school or famous celebrities with their lips smacking hard on TV. I don't like celebrities. They are skinny, perfect, and have clothing lines named after them. They even have perfumes dedicated to their dogs.

I want to be one of them. Plastered on the cover of a magazine. Looking perfect, thin, and with my life together. But that simply isn't me.

I'm stressed. Stressed and poor. My jaw hurts again. My secret habit is to bite myself on my forearm until I bruise. I'm not trying to hurt myself. I need to relieve the tension in my jaw. Gum can't always fix the clenching, grinding, and oral sensation that biting myself can.

"Natalie, hello in there?" Sammy says, snapping me back into my imperfect life.

"What? I love my new sunglasses too," I pull out my cheetah patterned shades. I put them over my eyes. Tears start to come. I open up the bubblegum Sammy gave me.

"I need to go to the bathroom," I lie to getaway.

"Meet me here when you're done," Sammy says.

"Okay," I say out of habit.

I run to the bathroom. I splash water into my face. I spit the gum into the toilet. I lift the sleeve of my sweater and bite three times in the same spot. A bruise starts to form. Ouch... I hurt myself again. Dumbass.

I grab rubbing alcohol and pour it over my wound. I find a band-aid and hide my bite with the biggest patch I can find. I pull my sweater down, so Sammy won't see my arm. I can't let her know I've started biting again.

"I'm back, Sammy," I say.

"Great, I have some news to tell you. I got a job." She stares at me.

"Where?" I ask.

"At the Penna Bakery. I'm going to make donuts, cookies, and bread," she finishes.

"Congrats, Sammy," I tell her. I hug my sister.

Why do I always look like a loser compared to her? She can always tell when I compare myself to her. Maybe I should get a part-time job too.

"There's more, Nat. I told them about your baking skills. And they want to interview you tomorrow," Sammy says.

"Thanks, Sammy. Not sure I can go. I'm giving horseback riding lessons tomorrow," I remind her.

"This is a weekend bakery job they are hiring for. Like 3-4 hours a week," she says.

"I will think about it. Thanks," I say. I head to my room. I shut the door behind me. I sit on my bed and snuggle my orange tabby cat, Cinnamon. I fall asleep dreaming of better days to come.

Continue to read this book for free
Scan code to download App

Latest chapter

  • Bone Thin   Chapter 40: Open Door

    "Natalie, what are you doing?" Aunt Tara sees me on the scale. I feel sheepish for standing on one. I know she admires me for it. It's an accomplishment, and we both know it."I've gained three pounds, Aunt Tara. It's been a long road. I'm ready to be healthy again. I'm ready to feel good about myself."Aunt Tara looks at me. She hands me a bowl of oatmeal. This is the test. I used to put it down the garbage disposal. I take the bowl and eat it slowly. It takes me 30 minutes to eat it all. But I did it. "I'm proud of you. I know that wasn't easy. But you are happier. How are you dealing with your other issue?"My other mountain to climb is my rape. Aunt Tara has a hard time saying those words to me. I have a hard time hearing them. Hearing them means it was real, that it wasn't all in my head."I don't know. I feel like I keep blocking it out. I don't want to ruin Collin and me. I know we were playing with fire when we had sex in Italy. I know I wasn't ready then. I just needed to be

  • Bone Thin   Chapter 39: Butterfly Wings

    A month goes by. I still haven't forgiven Mrs. Moore. I've needed space to heal. I've needed alone time. Collin has given me space. He takes me to therapy, the beach, and the tavern.Maria Byrd is still an ally for now. We talk about eating. We talk about Mrs. Moore. We talk about movies. It's hard to wrap my mind around all these people in my life. They are beautifully broken people. We are a community of broken puzzles, coming together to make our community picture whole. Imperfection is a beautiful thing.I get on the scale. 113. I'm gaining my weight back. I count calories like a drug addict. It's fucked up thinking. I'm obsessed with the numbers behind food. I'm scared of purging. The toilet used to be my temple. Now my eyes are focused on healing. If I don't heal now, I never will.This year has taught me to trust myself, to make friends, and to love again. Meeting Collin wasn't for nothing. He balanced my inner ying-yang with his peaceful heart. It's taken me to heaven and back

  • Bone Thin   Chapter 38: Puzzle Piece

    "How was your session?" Aunt Tara asks."Better than I expected. Where's Sammy?"Aunt Tara points toward the hallway door. I open it. Sammy appears along with Selah and Collin. "Selah, you're here?" I say while hugging her."I'm here. It's good to see you. Sorry, we haven't spoken since Italy. I told my mom everything in detail about Chad, the breakup, Collin, and your therapy. She's sorry. I think you need to hear that from her."Mrs. Moore walks toward me. She looks down, ashamed to admit she was in the wrong. I'm not sure I want her to be here. But I will be the better person. The world has called me to be the bigger person. I can be that for Selah."Hello, Mrs. Moore. How was your return journey?""It was awkward. I felt awful for saying all those harsh words to you. Of course, you need Selah right now. I know I'm not a gentlewoman. I have never been. But I will try better to understand whatever it is you're going through. I'm sorry I took Selah away from you. Will you forgive me

  • Bone Thin   Chapter 37: Ursula

    Two weeks pass. Selah still hasn't said a word to me. I can't believe it. Her mother defeated her-no fair. I'm over the summer. It's been nice going with Collin to pools and beaches. But I'm ready for fall. I'm ready for the chilly air, pumpkin carvings, and apple cider.School is around the corner. I wish Collin weren't homeschooled. He could protect me in the halls. I know Selah will talk to me at school. She's probably waiting for the death of summer to rekindle our friendship. Her mother was a terrible bitch. It's not her fault.I touch the half-heart necklace. It reminds me of Selah. Wow, my birthday was shit this year. Collin and Aunt Tara took me horseback riding as promised. But without Selah, it was hopeless.My sister is glad to see me head back to school. I've been riding Carmel a lot lately. My beautiful horse takes me to all the hidden trails. I forgot about most of them.I'll be starting therapy soon. I am not looking forward to that at all. I don't want to face my ghost

  • Bone Thin   Chapter 36: The Witching Hour

    Jet lag is the single most terrible feeling on earth. It's like experiencing 18 daylight savings changes all at once. Being drunk is more fun. It's 3 am. How on earth did I nap this long?Sammy is still in the room. I'm glad she's here. I know what they say about 3 am.They call it the witching hour—the hour of ghosts and ghouls. I know ghosts are real.Mine lives upstairs in the untouchable room, my room. His name is Chad Jefferson. His physical body is in prison, but his spirit dwells within those walls.I never want to open that door again. No amount of therapy will ever make me.When one door closes, another door opens. I don't know if I believe that overly used phrase. What if my life is a hallway with millions of doors, and they are all locked? Where is the key?The door on my time with Chad has closed. I'm in a hallway, waiting for the next door to open. The next window cracked open will invite me in. Dating Collin was by chance. The door was ajar that day. It was never fully o

  • Bone Thin   Chapter 35: Ghosts

    I arrive at the airport. Sammy greets me. It's so good to see my big sister again. I almost forgot I had one. With all the drama that Italy was, I forgot other people liked me."I'm sorry your trip had to end so quickly, " Sammy says."I'm not. I'll tell you later. Bottom line..." Aunt Tara cuts me off."That Moore woman is a bitch, " Aunt Tara says."Go, Aunt Tara, " Collin says."COLLIN, " Aunt Tara barks.Collin blushes and retreats into his hoodie like a turtle going into its shell."What happened?" Sammy says."Let's just say Mrs. Moore has no compassion for anyone whatsoever. She thinks I'm a problem, and now she doesn't want Selah and me to be friends anymore. Fuck her, " I shout for the entire airport to hear."Are you ready to go home?" Sammy asks while handing all of us Starbucks."Thanks for the coffee, darling. And yes, get us out of here, please, " Aunt Tara says.We are silent in the car. We are exhausted and ready to get on with life. Today would have been another Itali

More Chapters
Explore and read good novels for free
Free access to a vast number of good novels on GoodNovel app. Download the books you like and read anywhere & anytime.
Read books for free on the app
SCAN CODE TO READ ON APP
DMCA.com Protection Status