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Chapter 38: Puzzle Piece
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Bone Thin Chapter 39: Butterfly Wings
A month goes by. I still haven't forgiven Mrs. Moore. I've needed space to heal. I've needed alone time. Collin has given me space. He takes me to therapy, the beach, and the tavern.Maria Byrd is still an ally for now. We talk about eating. We talk about Mrs. Moore. We talk about movies. It's hard to wrap my mind around all these people in my life. They are beautifully broken people. We are a community of broken puzzles, coming together to make our community picture whole. Imperfection is a beautiful thing.I get on the scale. 113. I'm gaining my weight back. I count calories like a drug addict. It's fucked up thinking. I'm obsessed with the numbers behind food. I'm scared of purging. The toilet used to be my temple. Now my eyes are focused on healing. If I don't heal now, I never will.This year has taught me to trust myself, to make friends, and to love again. Meeting Collin wasn't for nothing. He balanced my inner ying-yang with his peaceful heart. It's taken me to heaven and back
Bone Thin Chapter 40: Open Door
"Natalie, what are you doing?" Aunt Tara sees me on the scale. I feel sheepish for standing on one. I know she admires me for it. It's an accomplishment, and we both know it."I've gained three pounds, Aunt Tara. It's been a long road. I'm ready to be healthy again. I'm ready to feel good about myself."Aunt Tara looks at me. She hands me a bowl of oatmeal. This is the test. I used to put it down the garbage disposal. I take the bowl and eat it slowly. It takes me 30 minutes to eat it all. But I did it. "I'm proud of you. I know that wasn't easy. But you are happier. How are you dealing with your other issue?"My other mountain to climb is my rape. Aunt Tara has a hard time saying those words to me. I have a hard time hearing them. Hearing them means it was real, that it wasn't all in my head."I don't know. I feel like I keep blocking it out. I don't want to ruin Collin and me. I know we were playing with fire when we had sex in Italy. I know I wasn't ready then. I just needed to be
Bone Thin Chapter 1: Shoplifting
"Natalie, are you sleeping again? Get up, lazybones!"What the hell is Selah doing outside my bedroom? How embarrassing..."No, Selah... I'm awake," I say.Hi, I'm Natalie... The world's most boring fifteen-year-old. While other fifteen-year-olds know who they are. I'm over here, playing it safe. Well, most of the time.I'm the most boring in my social group. I can't play sports very well. I was blessed with my mother's two left feet. When I get nervous or scared, I chew gum. I've been chewing gum a lot lately. My dentist hates me for it."Stop chewing gum, Natalie. You're going to ruin your jaw," I can hear my dentist say.To that, I say, whatever. I've been clenching my jaw a lot, thank you very much. My friends all know that when I pull out a piece of gum, it's time to ask me what my problem is.I have a boyfriend named Chad Jefferson. We've been best friends since as far back as I can remember. My older sister, Samantha, thinks he's bad news. Maybe he is... maybe he isn't. Or mayb
Bone Thin Chapter 2: Better Days
I stop vaping and pull out a piece of mint gum. I'm nervous my mom will find out. Chomp... chomp...chomp. I can hear my teeth grinding in my ears."Selah, please don't tell anyone about my shoplifting today," I say before we part ways."Yeah, no worries. I deleted your cop lecture photos anyway—all but one. I had to keep one for the hell of it," Selah smirks."Delete ALL of them. I don't want anyone to know about my issue. Especially Sammy. Like I need a sister lecture," I roll my eyes."Nat, just tell me why you do it. Why do you shoplift?" Selah asks."Well, one, it's easy. I haven't been caught yet. And number two, I'm not telling you about number two," I say.The truth is I've been shoplifting more than the things I want. I've been lifting canned goods, bread, and milk. I drop them off at Chad's house. His dad just lost his job. And money is tight. So, I've been shoplifting groceries for them for a few months now. Selah doesn't need to know about their hardships. I've even dropped
Bone Thin Chapter 3: Life Choices
I wake up. It's morning. I slept through dinner again, unbelievable. It's 5:30 am, time to eat breakfast and head to the stable. The smell of horses first thing in the morning always calms me down.I ride my bike to my aunt's house. She's about three miles away from me. The morning air feels cool and refreshing. I smell spring and feel the dampness of dew against my face.The stable has that deep aroma of fresh hay. Carmel, my companion, walks over to me and eats oats from the palm of my hand. I brush the knots out of his mane. I get ready to ride. The saddle feels like home. And off we go.The backwoods and the large river within them are my favorite places to be. This is my Narnia, away from everyone else. Carmel drinks the water from the stream. I check my watch. Damn, it's almost 7:00 AM.I take out my breakfast bar and eat it. I wish I weren't hungry. I hate feeling hungry. Hunger equals food. And food equals fat. I toss the breakfast bar in the river and decide not to eat. My bo
Bone Thin Chapter 4: The End
I get home. It's the weekend. I want to sleep. Sleep makes my boredom pass. After an hour, my mother knocks on the door."You okay, Natalie?" My mother asks.As usual, she can tell something is wrong. And, of course, I am obligated to respond. Why is she, my interrogator? It gets old. It comes from the love she has for me, barf. Maryanne and I used to be close. But then, as Sammy and I grew up, she favored Sammy. She always chose Sammy. Sammy forever!That's why my dad is my favorite parent. He's there for me. I understand my mom is attempting to cover the "hole" in Sammy's life. The hole that her loser dad walking out on her has created. But nothing can fill it. Not even water. If anything, water makes holes deeper over time with erosion. That's my mom. She's the water in Sammy's life. Making it harder for her to be normal and move on. My mom erodes her daughter's away with her false praise."If you want to know, mom... I might break up with Chad," I finally say after minutes of noth
Bone Thin Chapter 5: The Hiding Place
Chad leaves. And I feel like shit for breaking up with him. I mourn the summer we will not have together—my stomach aches and churns from the breakup. I will regret this breakup in the morning.I look at the clock; it turns from 1 to 4 am in five minutes. I can't sleep. I walk downstairs into the kitchen to see what alcoholic filth and flavors are available for my underage sorrows.I sneak down the stairs, pausing with each step. I hold my breath in. I don't want anyone to see, hear, or know I exist on the stairs. I want an invisibility cloak like Harry Potter. To disappear into the air and not be viewed by anyone. That must be nice.I go into the alcohol stash my mom has hidden away. She thinks I don't know about it. But I always have. I remember her pulling the toaster oven back and finding that moveable wall tile. And behind the tile, alcohol.I pull the tile aside and find the honey-colored whiskey. I grab one of my dad's shot glasses from his travel collection. The shot glass say
Bone Thin Chapter 6: Sub-sandwich
It's happened again-me, forcing my dumb ass to throw up. I head into the bathroom and use the mouth wash to hide the after-taste of vomit.I go into my sister's closet to grab a large hoodie, to feel normal again. Her bedroom is neat, pink, and uncluttered. She has her life together more than I ever will. I see the plethora of teen gossip, fashion, and prom magazines scattered on her bed.I sit on Sammy's bed. The models are perfect. Their eyes all different shades and hues. I will never look like these beautiful Amazonian women. I look like me, but with the circumference of Jupiter as my waistline. The thought of my weight makes me never want to eat again.I don't trust the numbers on my sister's broken scale. It's off by 40 pounds. It says I weigh 110. When I know, I'm 150. I know what deceit looks like. I wish she would buy a new one that works.Another reason I don't want to get a license. I don't want a mug shot taken. Who needs their mug shot and weight amount on the same damn p
Latest chapter
- Bone Thin Chapter 40: Open Door
- Bone Thin Chapter 39: Butterfly Wings
- Bone Thin Chapter 38: Puzzle Piece
- Bone Thin Chapter 37: Ursula
- Bone Thin Chapter 36: The Witching Hour
- Bone Thin Chapter 35: Ghosts
- Bone Thin Chapter 34: Best Friends
- Bone Thin Chapter 33: Forever Sucks
- Bone Thin Chapter 32: Busted
