My bath lasts all of ten minutes. I hop to my room while humming a tone I am not sure where I heard it. Hayden is on my bed, snacking on the batch of cookies I made earlier this week. I was hoping to see Ben so I could give some to him and his brother. I have missed Asher’s sweet comments about my baking.
Hayden scoops more ice-cream into his big mouth, I walk over to him and smack the back of his head.
“Yo,” he says, turning his head to me with a deep scowl. His eyes rake over my wet body and he plugs his nose. Stupid. He’s the worse sometimes. I squeeze the water out of my hair and splash it on his face. “Was that necessary?” Batting my scanty lashes, I nod. “That’s not cute, Tessa.” Ben will gladly disagree.
I flash my teeth, well aware he will beat the hell out of me if we were ever to engage in a real fight. He and Coach Greyson are the reason I can fight. “That’s my ice-cre
Ben and I are still holding hands as we walk down the stairs. A thin sheet of snow covers the pavement and the street. The height of the snow is nothing to worry about. As kids, we loved to play in the snow. My favourite part was smashing Hayden’s face into the snowman. I always cried when he did the same.We stroll to a car parked in front of our garage, Ben brings out a fob. A beep sounds, the front and back lights blink. Ben drags me to the passenger side and opens the door. I place a hand on the car’s hood.“What’s going on?” I ask, a note of doubt creeping into my voice. “Where’s your bike?”We are the only two out in the snow which is slowly nipping at my skin. Ben scratches the back of his head. “At home?” He pushes me gently into the car but I refuse to budge. “Gracie, go in. I’ll explain.”With that disapproving frown etched on my lips, I slide i
“Who was your first crush?” I ask Ben. We are nearly done with our meal. Well, I am. Ben has done nothing but watch me. The place is a bit more quiet. I nibble on my lips as his eyes grow intense. He smoothens the front of his tux with a wink. “Answer me,” I say with a smile. Why do I feel like it’s someone I know? Possibly Olivia. “You first,” he mutters. He starts on his meal before I get another word out, I shake my head. The lights in the restaurant grow dim, waiters move about the place silently and soft music plays in the background. I sneak a peek at my phone which lights up. We have been here for over an hour. I place the phone face down to avoid any distractions. It is a few hours until Christmas and our anniversary. Does he remember? Poking my cheeks with my fingers, I stick my tongue out. “My first crush was Brian.” Ben sets his fork down, then the knife. His brows furrow, he leans
I am wearing my boots. The combat boots my boyfriend gifted me on our anniversary. I catwalk to the front of my mirror and twirl. Hayden groans behind me. I spin in another circle to annoy him and he sends a pillow flying at me. I duck and the pillow hits the mirror. Picking it from the floor, I launch it at his head.“I swear to God if you smile at that shoe one more time I’ll stab myself in the eye with a fork.”My face contorts at the imagery his words provoke, he shoves a fistful of popcorn into his mouth. If he’s so pained, he shouldn’t be sprawled on the bed in my room, eating my snacks. Turning to the mirror with a bigger smile, I lower myself to my seat and inspect the boots on my legs. I can’t get over them.They are so soft and bloody expensive. The heels are perfect, a few inches to boost my height. I tried not to check the price but that didn’t end well. It cost a fortune. The best part is t
Daddy fucked up our reservation. Maybe he forgot or the restaurant made a mistake as he said. I am not sure which but the longer we wait in the car, the angrier Mum grows. She’s angrily typing on her phone, probably to one of those her rich friends who come to the house to drink our wine while they gossip.Hayden is busy with his tab. I peek over his shoulder to see the game he’s playing and a soft sigh leaves my lips. So many guns and shooting. My phone has been silent since we left the house. Ben must have gone for the dinner. He hasn’t texted me. I don’t want to ruin his not-so-family time but I miss him.We look up at the sound of approaching footsteps. Daddy. His boots create prints on the thin layer of snow covering the path. He jams his hands into the pockets of his jacket and expels a breath of white air.His facial expression spells bad news and his steps falter before he reaches us. I glance at Mum. Her arms are crossed on
BEN “No. Leave that,” I tell Asher, shaking my head at the boots he tries to sneak into the bag. Josef, Mum’s husband, got him nice leather boots for Christmas. He also bought me a pair. Thanks but no thanks, I did not accept it. He thinks he can bribe his way into my life with gifts, forced smiles and compliments, the way he did with Mum and Asher. It can’t be me, it will never be me. He already took Mum away from us and Asher likes him a little too much. I hope he doesn’t take Asher away from me. Asher dives into the bed face first, his legs dangle from the edge as he pushes himself up on his elbows. He watches me arrange our clothes into the duffel bag on the bed. The small pile soon disappears into the bag and Asher sits up. His back rests against the headboard, we share one glance and he looks away. He does it twice and I sigh. He wants something. Shoving the last item of clothing into the bag, I drop it at my feet and inch closer t
BENThe pain in Mum’s voice splits my heart into a million pieces. I ball my hands into fists. “For what?”She is the reason I have trouble sleeping alone. If Asher is not home, it’s harder to fall asleep. I might give him a speech about being strong anytime he sneaks into my bed after a nightmare but those are the best parts of my nights. Sleep comes easily when he is there. She won’t hurt me if I am not alone.Tears cloud my vision as the dark memories try to overpower me. She’s not here. She can’t hurt me. My fingernails dig into my palms until they draw blood. I focus on the pain. I think about the fights. About my Gracie. Her sheepish grins and our silly notes. Our kisses. And the anger slowly eases from my body.I raise my head to see Mum watching me and the pent up emotions come rushing down on me again. I needed her then. I still do. But I don’t know how to move past this mental blo
Today is the first day of school and also the first time I am resuming a new semester without Maria. It’s odd.I pass a look at my reflection in the rearview mirror. I don’t look so bad. No makeup except a dab of red lipstick. Ben’s clip—the second colourful item of my outfit—is keeping my hair away from my face.My fingers shake slightly at the thought of Ben. I miss my boyfriend. I touch the butterfly on the clip and a wry smile forms on my lips. I haven’t been the best girlfriend to him in days. I push that thought aside as soon as the laughing image of him and Olivia pops in my mind. Are they really just friends?Drawing courage from within, I flash my image a thumbs in the rearview mirror and step out of my car. The parking lot is deserted, scary. Everything is scary without Maria and Ben. Most students, including me, are not so keen on resuming in the second week of January. I switch the plastic bottle to my
BEN I don’t believe her. Either she likes Noah and she is lying to protect my feelings or she is tired of me. Last year, she asked a lot of questions about Noah. I didn’t want to worry. I didn’t think I had any reason to worry because I trusted her. I still do. Maybe I shouldn’t. If she truly loves, she will want me to be happy. Gracie has changed. I know it’s not her period. It happened a day before Christmas. It shouldn’t be here so soon already. I press a finger to my temple and set my painting brush down. This is not even my class. Olivia drags her high stool closer to me. She nudges me with her elbow as her brush makes soft strokes on the canvas. I tuck a hand under my chin and try to guess a title or the inspiration behind the painting. We have been doing that for half an hour since we escaped to this place but it’s barely helping my mood. The last time I saw her was at the restaurant. Mum invited her and her mother so they weren’t alone o