CHAPTER 3

Lily’s apartment was twenty minutes away and instead of taking a cab, she decided to walk, so she could untangle the webs that spiraled in her head.

She was a twenty-three-year-old who never had a boyfriend. She was an only child, born and brought up in an abusive home, where physical abused was deemed normal and emotional and verbal abuse were the truth, other substitutions of the beatings she faced on a nearly daily basis. It was seen as a way to train a child so the child wouldn’t go astray. These kinds of abuse were normal in her neighborhood which was why her neighbors turned a deaf ear to her deafening screams whenever her dad gave her an excruciating beating, it was why no one cared to stop her mother from raining curses and insults on her.

And although being an only child has its pros, she mostly saw the cons. Her only ‘family’ were her mother and father. Her other family members; cousins, aunts and uncles from both sides never gave a damn about her wellbeing, so she had to paddle her own canoe at a very young age.

Lily’s parents never treated her as a daughter, they treated her as a maid, a trophy and a babysitter of two grown adults who lacked accountability and responsibility. She’d clean up the litters of cigarettes and its ashes and clean up the drools of beers that streamed out from the bottles, she’d cook their favorite meals with so much dedication, time and precision only to get a cold gaze in return. She did everything to keep the house in order while her father boozed and gambled their rent while her mother shopped for the most expensive clothes, shoes, bags and skincare.

With all these responsibilities she faced at home, she had to be the best at school, because it was a proof that their money didn’t go to waste. In order for them to continue paying her school fees, she needed to prove that their money wasn’t going to waste, so she’d read all day and night to be the top, and one of the reasons    why she put in so much in her studies was to at least get recognition from her parents but like other efforts, she met cold responses from them.   

With all these pressure she never dated anyone but as she got older, she got bullied for not dating anyone. They mocked her and called her all sorts of name, some said she was lying and she was just doing it for male validation. They made jest of her within and out of earshot, it became alarming it made her insecure. She became hyper aware of her appearance, the way she walked, and the ways she went about her daily activities.

She eventually made a friend, Eric. Eric was from the city; luxury was his other name. he wasn’t from her vicinity, Frostwynd. He was from Duskport, Duskport was a place where ministers, celebrities and billionaires resided. How they met she never understood. Eric was a complete contradiction to her and her background. She liked Eric, and Eric liked her too, so he asked her out on a date, a movie date. It was a place not too far from her house to make it convenient for her to go home safely.

She was so happy, finally, she’d get to experience what it feels like to be on a date. They enjoyed themselves at the cinema, she played video games she had never played before, drank and ate snacks she never tasted while Eric looked at her like she held his world. It was like a breath of fresh air to finally do something fun after years of intense hassle.

After the movie date, he escorted her out and got an uber to take her home safely. He was about to kiss her, of which she consented to when she sighted her neighbor watching her suspiciously. Her ears immediately became hot and her heart pounded like her heart was about to leave her body. It was obvious that the earth was against her because her neighbor would definitely tell her mom about it.

She immediately went home, thinking her parents weren’t home yet, but luck was indeed not on her side, her parents were home.

As Lily continued walking home, tears dropped from her eyes as she remembered the endless screams that came out from her lips, the way her father’s voice was laced with thick contempt and his veins bulged at his neck as he mercilessly beat her up, the way she begged for mercy from her father, the way her mother’s insults rolled off her lips without any hesitation as her mother’s eyes beamed with delight as she saw her crying, the way her father beat her up till she lost consciousness and how her mother woke her up with icy cold water.

It was then it became clear that her parents hated her. so she planned to escape; after high school graduation, she would leave that night and never return, and she did move.

She moved to Ravenbrook, a place very far from Frostwynd, a place none of her parents would dream of finding her. when she got to Ravenbrook, she started looking for jobs and she got a job as a part time librarian and a part-time bartender. In the mornings till late afternoons, she worked in the library and serve as a bartender at night.

Due to the immense access she had in the library, she got exposed to the world of book, diving in all genres of books, from sci-fi to thriller to mystery to horror to fantasy and to romance. She enjoyed reading books because it served as an escapism, the chance to escape a shitty reality, it was her safe haven, but she enjoyed reading romance more because of one thing; the way the men yearned for their ladies. She was deeply intrigued and touched on how love can melt the iciest hearts, make one compromise, make sacrifices, addicting and how love could fill the emotionless souls.

It was a mystery to her and there was this tiny bit of her that found it ridiculous, but what did she know, she hasn’t been in love before. She also found it funny because she found herself envying female characters that didn’t exist. Reading romance books filled her and left her void because she craved for something she could have but don’t want yet.

She wanted to date because she wanted to know what it felt like to be loved and be in love, to have an experience, to feel worthy of love and to see if she was meant for love.

But she didn’t want to date because there were so many responsibilities on her plate and she didn’t want to add the responsibilities of a relationship to it. communicating, like calling and texting wasn’t a problem, but saying how she felt was like trying to swallow stone, she didn’t know how to even if she wanted to. She was trying so hard to support herself so how could she fully support someone else, and although she could be dependent on him, she didn’t know how to.

Everything changed when she saw him. she was definitely attracted to him, he was strikingly handsome but he was dangerous, he said so himself and even without him saying it, it was quite obvious

Her brows pulled to a tight knot in confusion. A normal person would run away, trembling in fear, but she wasn’t normal, which explained why her heart still skipped a beat when she remembered him.

She remembered his eyes, the way he spoke, the way he walked and the little gestures he displayed effortlessly that made her heart swell.

She shook her head, trying to wiggle out those thoughts from her head. Why was she attracted to him?

Was it the cold gaze that resided peacefully in his eyes? The lack of warmth that exuded from his gestures? The subtle yet sharp tome he used whenever he spoke? That felt so familiar to her, she recognized those patterns, could it be she was attracted to him because of that?

It was confusing, because she knew we could get used to being cold that it becomes warmth, but was she attracted to him because there was something more?