Chapter 4: Against the marriage

I cried the whole night until I was out of tears.

Dad put a lot of security all over the mansion and my every move was monitored. There was even a CCTV installed in my room which forced to me go to the bathroom every time I need to change. I felt suffocated. The house that was once my comfort zone felt like a cage to me now.

I hoped Dad was just threatening me when he said my wedding with Peyton would happen in a week, but when the wedding organizer came the next day, I figured he wasn’t kidding. He is really marrying me off to a man I haven’t even spent a whole day with.

“I know you don’t want to marry me, but I know your situation, Lily. Once your baby bump starts to be visible, people will talk. It will ruin your father’s reputation and will affect the business. My family owes your father so I can’t say no to him,” Peyton said when he joined us during dinner so we can talk about our wedding. I was silent the whole time so he followed me to my room so we can talk privately.

“Do you want to marry me, Peyton? I am pregnant with another man’s child. I don’t have a talent for business. In short, I’m a good-for-nothing who is immature and has a lot of issues. You won’t be happy with me. We’ll just end up caged in a marriage we both don’t want. Between us, you are more capable of refusing this union. If you’d just talk to your dad-“

“Negotiating with my dad is not an option, Lily,” he cut me off with a hard tone. “If you have family issues, so do I. My father is a big business tyrant. Do you think I’d manage to sit in a high position in our company if I don’t follow everything he says? I have brothers. I want to gain his favor and refusing this marriage will put me six feet under.”

Men and their thirst for power. I wasn’t surprised.

I just stopped talking with Peyton because it seems like I can’t change his mind. He didn’t want to marry me but he can’t afford to offend our fathers. He is willing to do whatever it takes for power so he doesn’t care who he will marry.

The fitting of my wedding gown was done in the mansion and as I stared at the mirror with me wearing a white wedding dress, the reality slowly crept on me.

I’m getting married.

Should I just kill myself and end my misery before it goes any further?

But… my gaze fell on my abdomen. Won’t I be too selfish if I also kill the growing child in my womb?

“You look fabulous, Miss Lily! With this dress, you will look like a goddess on your wedding day!” said the woman who was part of the team taking care of the wedding preparations.

Although a week of preparation is too short, Dad made it possible with his money. The only thing that wasn’t done was the prenuptial shoots. It wasn’t included because I was locked in the mansion and Peyton was too busy with work.

Days passed quickly and the next thing I knew… I was walking down the aisle.

My hands holding the bouquet had gone cold. I felt nothing but fear and anxiety. I want to run and never turn back, but if I do that, I’ll just end up causing further damage.

I looked at the guests looking at me through my veil. Most of them were smiling as if it was such a joyous occasion, but I can’t smile the same way.

I didn’t cry though. I’ve cried so much in the past few days that I can’t shed a single tear anymore.

Then my gaze went to the man waiting for me at the altar.

I felt nothing. I felt empty.

Peyton took my hand as we both faced the priest who will wed us. I was anxious but my heart remained calm as if it was almost not moving.

Mom died three years ago after she was diagnosed with severe leukemia. I can’t forget how she had always told me that marrying someone you love is the most fulfilling feeling a woman could feel. She told me how fulfilled she felt when she married Dad.

But deep down, I knew she was suffering in their marriage. Because in all those years of being a husband and wife, Dad never looked at her the same way she did. For him it was just a marriage on paper, a business deal done for the sake of two families who wanted to be business partners.

Dad cheated countless times but she chose to stay. She chose to endure the pain and Dad was aware of her suffering, but he didn’t care about it. And the second I realized he’s nothing but an asshole, I started to hate him.

My parents’ marriage was pragmatic, and yet here I am, following their footsteps against my will.

“Peyton Sheffield, do you take Lily Clarks as your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” Peyton answered without hesitation.

“Lily Clarks, do you take Peyton Sheffield as your lawfully wedded husband?”

I froze. For a moment, my mind was blank and I couldn’t bring myself to say the two words that needed to be said.

The lump in my throat felt like thorns and I couldn’t move my tongue. I parted my lips but no word came out.

The priest asked me the question again.

I swallowed hard. Bullets of sweat formed around my nape.

“I…”

“Say it, Lily,” Peyton whispered.

I sucked in my breath and calmed myself.

I opened my mouth again despite my hesitation, but just when the words ‘I do’ were about to slip out of my tongue, a baritone voice from the church’s entrance caught everyone’s attention.

“I am against this marriage.”

He didn’t yell, but the church was silent and his voice echoed throughout the whole place.

When I looked at who the man was, my jaw dropped the moment I met his piercing blue eyes.

“Lily Clarks,” he called my name which drained the blood from my face.